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hello ladies its been a few days since i have had time to write startded my new job as a teachers assistant we have renovated a building and are working very hard to be ready by next week floor is not done no toilet seat, we have so much work to do the mover came yesterday to move out stuff from our old building. so so so so much work to be done but im thankfull for all hard work that is being done, we are a small islamic school well maybe not that small about 520 kids with a waiting list. Beasuse im a a muslim i have to wear my head covered i dont normal do this but that is the rule of that school and i really dont mind well my father told my husband that people in my little town of lannon wisconsin( about 1200 people) were going to hate me wow nice guy now mind you i grew up in this town i convered when i meet my husband 17 years ago. these people have know me all my life why would they hate me? dont you think a parent would be more incouranging considering that truly the only reason i take care of that undeserving man is because of my faith. He always take his anger and frustration out on me. God has given me thus far the patience to deal with my dad but i pray every day please God when is this going to END. well im glad that we are all in this boat together. Im just hoping that is not the titanic. haha. some time it feels that way. hope every one has a great tomorrow. mia k
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To BITTERSWEET
Welcome aboard. I know what you mean about the friendships we form here. When things were unbearable for me and some friends asked what they could do for me I said call me from time to time but they must have felt that they would bother me because they did not call but if I called them they were so supportive and at Church some close allways let me piss and moan as much as I needed to do
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hi girls, Dad is getting better he slept this afternoon and said he had some pain this morning but seems to be better. Have to go for x-rays tomorrow and drop them off at the doc's office and hopefully the stint can come out soon. I continue to ignore the stupid comments that come out of my mother's mouth, because I am never right I would rather be right in my head then argue.
Donna, you made a valid point about the chair. LOL
Funny thing my dad told me last night that he wants me to live until I am 90 because I deserve it and he wants me to be in good shape not like my mother. I told him that I will always be in shape because I am a mover and can't hardly sit still. He said couch potatoes derserve to die at 60. ? thats the philosophy of a 95 year old.
Welcome Austin Please fill us in more about your situation.
I hear knee replacements only last 10 years I have an Aunt that had it done. Thinking of all my friends, Judy
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Thanks Austin, I'm going to mention it tonight. First I'll have to see what kind of mood she's in and take it from there.
Maria, thanks for the info on the knee replacement. I'm not sure mom knows what is involved with this. I don't think she realises she'll have to re-hab at a nursing home. When she finds this out, it's not going to sit too well, I can tell you that.
But I think it's only fair to educate her before she makes the decision.
I'll keep you all posted.
Love,
Sha
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Donna, The chair thing....I laughed out loud literally! I can picture this in my head so vividly. Sounds like something that would transpire between me and my mother. Always bitching about something but when I offer a solution she doesn't like that either. Never happy.
Sorry about the troubles you have with your son. I say all the time, "We are the 'sandwich' generation". Our parents move in with us and our children never leave. We are stuck in the middle with nowhere to go and no end in sight. My God, when will it end?
Wishing you all a peacefull day.
Love,
Sha
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Cindi, sounds like your sister is much like my son who lives with me. The difference? my son never wants to live anywhere else. and he is 41, needs to make arrangements for himself after i am gone. He has been diagnosed with bi polar, and add. He has begun to drink more and more. Stays half drunk or all drunk all the time. My mom is a pain in the ass. And this is my life. Nope, sha, didnt get my car fixed. Now find that it is the timing belt, which means all the stuff on top of the motor will have to come off, which is quite expensive.I have been driving my sons pickup, which my mom can not get into comfortably (haha) so i dont have to take her with me, but still have to hear her gripe about sitting in the corner in her chair....The other day i told her if she was tired of sitting in the corner, then i could pull her chair out in the middle of the room.....She found no humor in that, but i thought it was quite humerous. hope all of you are having a better than average day,. love, donna
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Hello everyone. Just got back from Drs. office, for mom not me. Thanks Sha, am feeling better. Sha, my mom had both knees replaced. On one she had to have surgery twice. I don't regret her having them and neither does she. Some people do get close to 100% better but not all. If your mom follows the instructions and has therapy, she might be better. My mom didn't want to follow therapists orders until I told her that if she didn't, she would get a clot, it would go to her lungs, heart or head and she would die. Therapist was surprised at how well she did the next time, lol. Mom had therapy at home then at the hospital. At the end she did ok, she still walks with a cane and sometimes they hurt but not as they used to. Wish u luck with your decision. Welcome Austin.
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Bittersweet
I sure hope your mother does go to visit her friend, you really need a break.
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Hi my friends, welcome Austin.
You have come upon some of the nicest people in the world here. I can't begin to tell you the support I've gotten here since I joined about a month or so ago. These women have hearts of gold and strength greater than Hercules. Their lives are in such turmoil, yet they come here every day and offer support to the rest of us. We all care about one another and even though we'll probably never meet, we feel a strong bond and friendship towards one another. I feel like you are all my friends. We vent out our many frustrations and we are not judged. Instead we are understood and comforted. The concern shown here from strangers is often more than I get from personal friends. Again, welcome and feel free to dump on us. We're here for you.
Cindi, sweetie, hang in there. Your mom and your sister don't realise how lucky they are to have you. I know you get your strenght from your son, he's taking care of you.
Judy, how's dad today? I hope you got some rest.
Donna, are things any better? Did you get you car fixed?
Maria, are you feeling better? I'm here for you honey.
Marylynne, is your husband any better? How are the girls?
Things have been pretty quiet at home. But I think my mother is getting depressed. She's been doing a lot of running around for Dr. appointments between her and my father. Today he gets his Foley changed. He gets taken by ambulance to the Dr. to be changed. Then my mother has to go for x-rays of her knee. She's having lots of pain and may consider knee replacement. I have mixed emotions about this. Will she be better or worse? Who knows? It's a chance you take.
I'm going to try and talk her into spending the weekend with her friend in the next state, it's only like a half hour drive. She always has a good time with her, just sitting around talking and laughing. I think she needs a break. I know I could use one.
Well, my friends, I hope you are having a good day. I'm praying for you all.
Love,
Sha
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Austin,

Tell me a little about your husbands situation and bi-polar. I have a mother, daughter and a brother, who I think are all bi-polar. My mom too, loves to go to drs. I go at least 40-50 times a year and some times more than that and she is not ill, its my father who has had three strokes.

My mother and I both lost our homes in Katrina or I wouldn't have them living with me, although, I knew one day it would come to this. I, too, like Donna am just about at my wits end and think I have already had a nervous breakdown. Unfortunately, meds don't work for me, have a extra fast heartbeat.

If I can help you with any information about rehabs, been through it for 20 years now, just let me know. Give me a little background on yourself.

Welcome,
Marylynne
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Cindi
I sure hope your sister appreciates all that you are doing for her and she will be able to help you-but at this point she probably can not see past her own problems-even if she can not tell you how helpful you are to her I believe she does realize the truth.
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Judy, your poor Dad...8 hours at his age... I am like you exhausted going to bed after this too. Thank you for caring and understanding, Judy and Austin. Welcome to our group Austin. Kind of you to say...
Took sister all over today..and ran errands..very tired..made many appts including to sign up for SSI...she does not qualify for disability. To go from spending money freely to not having money at all...very hard and sad. I never had money so..lol no big deal I guess...always had to struggle since being marrired probably cause I stayed home with kids most of the time. One paycheck makes things esp hard. As many of you know.

Take care and love to you all...
Cindi
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Hi Ladies
Cindi I feel so sorry for you I'n fairlyew here I'm not sure what surgery you are going to have-I don't know how one person can stand all of what you have to deal with and still give us all such encourgement-what a blessing you are I wish I could give you a hug in person so you give yourself a pat on the back, My husband doesn't like the meds. for bipolor- he likes his mind racing. He convinced one doc at the rehab unit he had no mental problems so I asked him did he not wonder why you have to take 3 psych meds? Decor I wish my husband would fuss at going to docs he loves the attention that is the only time he does not act like a 5 yr. old one yr. we had over 100 visits and I stopped counting after 10 months. MIAK I'm also a cancer and LOVE muder mysteries Miv30000 -good for you for speaking up to get the help you need and want-I've learned to speak up the squeaky hinged gets oiled- medicare is there for help in caring for those we spend most fo our life caring for the few hrs they do give us we often have to fight for even that I have very seldom found a nurse who really understood what I was going through- one nurse even gave me two extra weeks of aides. Bittersweet- you made me laugh out loud with the commet -oh shit-I filled in he for she is still alive. As for me the N.H. my husband is in now has a social worker who should have angel on her name tag we bonded she has been through the wars with her late husband and is on my side we are having a meeting this week to discuss discharge planning the last time he was in rehab I was excluded from discharge planning at the other nursing home I go to that one about twice a week to visit a friend who I worked with years ago and when staff ask about my husband I let them know how pleased I am with his care and his PT and OT
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Glad to see everyone here, Cindi I feel for you and your family. I believe that our generation has to suffer for the mistakes of those previous to us. Is there someone to blame?
dad made it through the lithotripsy ok he wanted to sleep and it took over an hour to get him up so we could leave, we were there 8 hours this time. Glad to be home and I am tired, thanks for all the support my friends. I'll be on tomorrow going to bed early tonight. oxoxoxo Judy
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Depressed about sister's condition and the sadness of her life. Loving and staying with the man she loved caused her the loss of her mind. The death of my son was also a big factor. I now believe that my sister has been ill for almost 3 years. Will see the pyschiatrist with her on Wed. What I have read looks bleak. Earlier you catch it the greater the chances of a good prognosis.
To top it off she contacted her former love whom she found out is married but still loves her. She had a male friend (who has been interested in her) help us move more of her stuff over to her apartment. Spent yesterday and today packing her up. She keeps telling me she is impaired and cant do anything well by herself (which puts more pressure on me). But it is true. I feel so badly and sad for her. It is such a tragedy. Why is my family life so tragic? She wants someone to love her and probably to take care of her. She asked her male friend would he marry a woman who had mental impairment and couldn't work. Sad, huh? This sister of mine was once really something. To see her end like this breaks my heart. I am praying she will be able to function okay even well someday.

All my mother said to me after I got home to cook dinner for them (after a 7 hour day with sister) was...Cynthia, did you forget to get my lotto? I said gosh mom I just got home give me some time. Self centered as usual. Am I always going to have to take care of people? Mom, Dad and now sister? I am afraid that it is yes. I don't know how I am going to continue. My sister is an even bigger stressor. But she needs someone and that someone is me. HOw long? Worried what will happen once I have surgery if I ever can lose the weight before surgery to get surgery. Been eating tonight.

Hope you all are better then me tonight
Cindi
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Dear Donna,

Will say a special novena for you tonight.

Love,
Marylynne
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hi girls, i have been having some trying days. my finances so screwed up, my car broke, no money to fix it with. my mom has beena bitch on top of all this. my depression is boundless. nothing much to say, just defeated at this point. love donna
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Judy,

How is Dad today honey. I know he must have scared you the other day. Tomorrow getting stint out or more lithotripsy, forgot.

I am having trouble with hubby, he is still sick. I'm calling dr. tomorrow. Mom and Dad still driving me crazy. Nurse said Dad could live another 15 years. Said she has never seen someone so well taken care of. Even is blood oxygen level is that of someone with no paralysis. Told you he would outlive us all. Good for him, hope he can find someone to take care of him when I'm gone.

Where are the girls, Cindi, has some dr. appt. tomorrow for her surgery don't she?

Where is my girlfriend Donna?

Ply, got your e-mail. Loved it. Soooo true.

Love to you girls, Trying not to complain, saying my novenas for all of us to have something to look forward to.

Love,
Marylynne
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Lol, I know that I'm ok if u can call it that. I am just tired and not feeling well. Just be reading notes. Take care Judy. Ply
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I haven't heard from anyone you guys are scaring me. Hope to see someone write soon, Judy
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hey its pretty quiet today hope everything is alright, dad scared me today he said he couldn't talk when I went in this morning, even though he was but slowly, I turned for one second and then looked back at him and he had a blank stare and got stiff. I shook him gently and told him to get moving he seemed to be better after I got him going.
He ate all his breakfast and lunch he had his favorite chicken soup, didn't eat much for dinner.
We go in at 7:00 monday morning to the hospital.
Love the pics from all of you we would be a fun bunch if we could all get together. Hopefully some day we can. oxoxoxo Judy
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Marylynne, what a beautiful picture of you and your girls I would be so proud to have two daughters like yours if I had girls. I will send you a pic of my sons. Have to look at the others, I got a message from this site that we shouldn't put our emails on here, but I did it before I read the message oops!
Mom and I had a conversation about calling 911, do you ask the person who may need 911 if they want you to call or do you just call??? I say call especially for my Dad. She likes to ask, oh boy!
I like to play jewel quest 2. Going to check for more pictures, later oxoxoxo Judy
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maria, i got my badges, and am working on the scrabble one for all of my online friends. i love scrabble. but, i am the queen of nasty (canasta) someone give me cindi's email, so i can put it in my address book. loveya bedtime. donna
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Hey girls did I miss something with the Lizzy Borden thing. I loved that story too. Where did ya'll talk about that?

Saw Maria's mom's birthday pictures. Funny, how our mother's look like angels! Great picture of the family.

Donna, still wating on your picture. I know they don't want us to exchange e-mails, but I have all of them written down.

Love,
Marylynne
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Sha, that's neat! I have always wondered about Lizzie, did she really commit them or who else did them? I love stories like that. One of my daughters likes to do scrapbooking. I want to try but I have too many other projects to finish first. Donna, I like to play the puzzles on Pogo. I like to get the badges. Did u already get your summer badge? I just got it today. That duck game gave me a headache. Every time I thought I had it, I didn't, lol. Judy, I have your address and I'll try to send some pictures. Love, Ply
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Donna I sent you a pic I'll do it again if you didn't get it.
Medicare is hard to deal with unless you have a consent from the patient which they sent to me to have Dad sign and send back they will release more info to me with a signed paper.
Marylynne check with your county health dept. for senior care programs but there is more help for those on medicaid then medicare. Medicare only covers a short term.
Sha whats your email again?
I haven't gotten any pics from any of you, would love to see my girlfriends oxoxo Judy
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Maria, I just saw your picture on my space! I loved seeing you. You are a beautiful person and we have a lot in common with true murders. I have a facination with Lizzie Borden. I live in the next town from where the murders took place.
I like to scrapbook, does anyone else? It helps keep my mind occupied from thinking nasty thoughts!
Hope to see more pics.
Hope everyone is having a good day. I'm so glad I found this place where I can vent and no one judges me and everyone understands.
Love you,
Sha
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hi girls, i am happy that i bring some laughter to your lives by saying things. i have always had the knack of making people who are around me laugh, and i love it. Nothing better. Marylnne, those home health people are supposed to give your dad a bath, not show you how, and i know they can make the paperwork look however they want it to look and keep him on the service for years, they are being brain dead, and we all know it. I worked in home health for 14 years before all hell broke loose. Believe it or not, i used to love old people. Of course i didnt have to be with them 24/7 either. They were probably complete assholes when i wasnt around just like all these others. and i got a laugh myself from what sha said about the not breathing deal. sounds funny, but so so true. Marylynne they are right, we all love you, here in the yaya sisterhood. Just wait til we get rid of our balls and chains, we will all get together and probably just get DRUNK. lol . Cindi, i did not get your picture, i have a feeling it went to my spam mail and i deleted it, as i get 900 spams a day. Maria, which pogo games do you play? i play on a league and play a lot of canasta. would love to play with you sometime, as all i do is sit at this computer so i can ignore the fact that the world is going past me and i am doing nothing but waiting for the end.
cindi, they had my mom on respirdal for a while and it made her crazier. didnt have to go too far tho. hope you are doing good,. Judy, thinking of you. love to all, donna
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Dear Sha, and the rest of you girls,

I talk to god also, out loud and yell too. When I lived at home, before storm, I use to talk to God on the toilet. I would cry every morning and say, why did you do this to me, help me, help me.

I even talk to my mom's dead brothers, that loved me. I say Uncle, so and so, help me put up with my mom. I'm glad to see other people do it. And as for you Cindi, you are strong......, I don't think there could be anybody stronger than you, Donna and Ply, to put up with losing children, husbands and putting up with your mother too.

Did anyone every think about if you got sick, what would you do with your parents. That is a good question.

Love,
Marylynne
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Sha, you won't go to hell for having those thoughts, you are living in hell right now. All of us are going to heaven when we die and yes, we probably will see people that we don't want to see. Hell is here and we are in it. I ususally blame Eve for everything a woman has to endure for eating the apple, LOL
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