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Marylynne, I am glad that you told the therapist what u wanted. She has to know of some other network that can help you. If not, ask her supervisor. Continue to ask until you get what you need. As for your husband, let him have it with a smart remark. Or buy two of whatever and tell him this are yours and this are mine. I am sorry that u haven't felt hungry but don't starve yourself. We need all the energy we can get and without eating, there isn't much. Cindi, who are u asking about their mother? Miak and me were both adopted and I did say that nobody can take care of her like I do. By the way, today is her birthday. She is 83. Today my oldest would have been 34, she was born a few minutes ago, so long ago, but I can still relive every minute of it. Anyway, everybody have a good day today. Lets find something to laugh and smile about in our misery. Love, Ply
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Hi again girls, I reposted my email address but it was removed and I received an email from the webmaster explaining that it was not a good idea to post email addresses to the forum and that we need to go to the profiles to post pictures and emails. Oh well. Those of you who have it are welcome to share it with the other girls. I was hoping to get pictures of everyone....hope I still can.
BTW, I'm a Leo and my birthday is a week from today. Happy F'n Birthday....right?
Cindi, I hope and pray your sister will improve everyday. You need some peace in your life.
Love you all,
Sha
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Donna,
I sent you my pictures again. You and I both have aol so it should go through.
Sha...hi hun...ty for asking, sister is better she is taking lexopro 20 mg and Risperdal 1 mg. Lexopro is for depression and anxiety and Risperdal is for everything else...(bi-polar, Schizenphrenic sp?, Borderline Personality disorder). Her diagnosis on her chart said depression, anxiety and psychosis. I feel so badly for her, Sha. The stress got to her until she basically went slightly mad. Let's not let that happen to us. I feel as if I have to be there for her to rebuild her life. She never has been on her own or held a job for more then 6 months. This will be huge for her. I think she has always been afraid. Sha...I think you are pretty. Marylynne is also pretty...but WE are all beautiful!!!! Big smiles.

Tell me about your mom again. Refresh my memory. I know you were adopted by her and love her and noone else will take care of her.

Hugs
Cindi
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Hello my beautiful friends,
Sorry I haven't written in a while but I do read your letters every day.
I got pictures of Cindi and Marylynne so far....aren't they beautiful?
My dear, sweet Marylynne, I don't even know you but I love you, so please don't feel unloved. And I think I speak for all of us girls here. We are a sisterhood, we understand, we feel, we support, we care.
Everytime I read letters from Donna and Marylynne, it's like I wrote them myself. I can't describe the hate and anger I have in my heart. Sometimes I feel like it's crippleing me. I'm always yelling at God....Why Me, God? WHY??? Why did You do this to me? I do the same thing Donna does every morning when I hear her get up, it's like, Oh shit, she's still alive. I'm sure I'll go to hell for having these terrible thoughts but I can't help it. She made me this way.
Marylynne, honey, don't let your husband get to you, that's just what he wants. Next time he starts up with the brownie, go get another one and eat it right in front of him! And don't be shy about asking for help at home. The home care workers are supposed to be doing that job, not you! That is what they are there for. Be a squeeky wheel....the squeeky wheel gets the oil, as the saying goes.
Cindy, how's thing with sister? Judy, Donna, Mia, Maria, how are you?
Love you all,
Sha
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Hi Everyone...

Marylynne, I'm glad you told all the therapists people that all you really want and need is help in taking care of your parents so that some of the hardship is lifted from you. Call the Altzheimer's Association in your area and ask for respite care. They give away a few free hours which allows you to have some free time away. They pay for it, like a scholarship. Your Mom or Dad probably has some kind of dementia...let's just say it's Altzheimers so you can get some help.

As far as comments about your parents. I think you are just very frustrated and resentful. If you really didn't care you wouldn't have them with you. So no worries.

Your husband is use to being spoiled by you. We please EVERYONE not just our parents. You spoke up for yourself to him..good for you. All you wanted is to know he cares and can empathize with you. For that comment he can go and buy his own little debbies and pop. You buy your own. Do that to him for about a week...see if he shares next time. He is probably a creature of habit too...
Im sorry you felt unloved. I do think they love you in their own way. Tell hubby you need more shows of love from him...and the little debbies would have been a start.

Mia and Maria/Ply guess what? I am also a Cancer! Wonder what astrological signs are the rest of you.

Today meeting sister at the lab for her blood draw and later at the radiologist for a C and T spine xray. I set up the appts for sister too..she procrastinates and I am trying to watch over and help her care for herself...no appts for mom or dad thank god today. Husband goes out of town overnight will be back tomorrow night. He is leaving me here all alone with all this! Arggggggggghhhhhhh.
Went to see a psychologist (phd) last night for an evaluation to see if I am emotional fit to have this surgery. Told her some of the history of my family. She told me either I am a real strong resilient person or I am CRAZY for keeping my Mother. This came from a psychologist. Hmmmm makes me wonder. I told her it's probably a bit of both. I said I love my family and it's hard to love sometimes.

Try to have a good day...at least smooth one.
Judy and Susan loved getting your pictures...

Hugs
Cindi
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dear mlv you are not un loved we love you. even if you think nobody in this world doesnt we DO and as for the brownie thing who does the grocery shopping? my guess would be you. so what is he talking about replaceing it. I could tell you about 5 different ways to get back at him or a smart ass comment Its 1 of my best trates haha always ready with a smart ass answer i was really go to set up a 1 -800 line with smart ass answers call me tell the situtation and ill give you a smart answer like when he said about taking his brownie i would have said something like "well i only took it to do you a favor i wouldnt want you to choke on it " ha ha but really that doesnt get us anywhere just fight with one more person and dont we have enough of that, or do what i do i make my husband all the food he doesnt like for supper creamed corn and liver. if he complains then i say ok then take me out your choice creamed corn and liver or... really should think about that 1-800 number i could make millions. haha hope ive helped and if you other girls need help with smart ass comebacks let me know i got tons of them. drives my husbans nuts. mia
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Mia,

I'm so glad you agree. You just don't know what you girls and this site has done for me. I praise the day, I googled website for caregivers. I was at my wits end when I did it and found ya'll. I am so glad to have people that I can say," I wish my parents would drop dead" and not feel bad about it. I often wonder, you know how they say be careful of what you wish for, How's about just wishing for a life outside of elder care or listening to old peoples bathroom problems, etc. etc.

Every night I lay in my little girls room on the floor and lay awake for a while. I just want to be near someone who loves me and cares about me.

I want to share something that pissed me off today. My husband takes a little debbie brownie and a diet coke with him to work every morning. Since I am taking this antidepressant, I haven't felt like eating. Well, I saw that brownie and took one. As i passed him in the living room, he said, don't take my breakfast food unless you are going to replace it and I notice you are drinking my can drinks too. I told him, I can't believe that you are going to tell me something about eating one your precious brownies, when I would give anyone in the house anything off my plate, even if it was the last thing I had. That was the first thing I felt like eating in days. At that moment, I really felt like I was truly alone in the world, caring for everyone and no one caring about me, except for you girls. How could any one be so selfish. What a jerk, and he usually is not one except when he has had a few drinks.

Going to bed feeling unloved.

Love,
Marylynne
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Im sorry to hear some of you are having a bad day, mlv we have all had some one who doenst understand how hard it is to take care of our parents, especially the ones who were so cruel to us as youngsters , they have NO Fing IDEA, if that was the worst thing you said, then i would feel really bad if some one could read my mind. The thoughts i have some time scare me or make me laugh. That person should feel so bad for you, She has no understanding, I wouldnt wish taking care of our crazy parents on anybody. and yes donna always make me laugh too. we know longer have to worry about what others say about us we have each other and at the end of the day thats all that really matters people who love us for us and what we have been through, people who have walked in our shoes and know how we truly feel and dont judge us just listen to our woes and give us encourgement no strings attached, just pure and simple love something i have never had much of, but have found a abundance here with you ladies. so i give to each and every one of you my love and support and acceptance. have a better tomorrow . mia
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Maria,

Told the occupational therapist today, "I know you going to think this is terrible, but I don't want ya'll to help him and I want you to help me. I don't want to take him to the Dr. and I don't want you to show me how to bathe him. I want somebody to come in and do it." She said she will bathe him for however many weeks medicare allows her to come. I said get me a god damn social worker so I can tell her I am going to commit suicide. Maybe they will put me away, so I don't have to deal with these stupid people.

Read Donna's thing, I laughed out loud for the first time in a long time.

Love to all,
marylynne

Waiting on Donna's picture. I know she has to be something else.
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DONNA,

AMEN, AMEN, AMEN TO EVERY WORD YOU SAID TODAY. THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL TODAY AND ALMOST EVERYDAY. People this it horrid when I say the only way out of this is my death or theirs and I don't care which either. I had a friend who told me that was God awful that I said that, and her and I are no longer talking to this day.

You made me laugh, because I said the same thing today, I told my daughter if I could pray for one thing, I would pray for them to disappear. NO THAT AIN'T GOING TO HAPPEN.

LOVE YOU, TRULY
Marylynne
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Marylynne, yours is the only picture i have recieved, sent some out but dont think any one got them. will have to try something else i guess. anyway, you are a lovely lady, and your daughters are pretty too.
this is a day that i hate the old witch. every morning i wake up hoping to find that she isnt breathing, but, she is. she just got thru telling me that i get things mixed up and try to make her look stupid hell, i dont have to. she makes herself look stupid. I HATE HER HATE HER HATE HER. MORE WITH EACH PASSING DAY. i dont deserve her being in my life all the time. the only way out is death, mine or hers and i dont really care which one. anything to be free of her. love u girls, Donna
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Cindi, does that mean that I do a good impression of Elvis( All shook up) LOL Just kidding, gotta laugh sometimes. Wish u luck with your appt tonight. Lets see, I bought some more tiles today and that made me happy but then I had problems with them and that didn't make me smile, lol. Marylynne, tell them u need help not to show u how to do it. If there is something that they can show u to do better, than go for it. Otherwise no. Hope everybody had a good day.
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Well girls,

Had the home health nurse come out, physical therapist and occupational therapist. What good did it do. I was trying to get the nurse to come take his blood, so I don't have to put him in the car, I was trying to get someone to put him in the shower once or twice a week, so I don't have to do it, etc.

The therapist want to teach me how to put him in the shower and reestablish him being able to get in the car. I told them, that all of this is taking a toll on my health for the last 20 years, and I would like a little help at home. My mom called herself the primary caregiver, but the nurse said she could tell who it really was. Now they are calling a social worker for me to talk to. Any suggestions, on what to say?

The nurse said that for a 3 time stroke patient that he is in the best of health, I wonder why? Don't get me wrong, I don't want him to be sick, it just seems like he will outlive us all with the kind of care he gets.

So, how do I get them to help me at home, instead of letting them retrain me to do something I no longer want to do? I have lived my entire life at dr's offices rearranging anything my kids wanted to do or anything that I wanted to do to go. I counted one year, I had 40 dr. appts, between the both of them and thats been 20 years long.


Love,
Marylynne
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Well now that marylynne has seen me I guess i know how to send pics so i will continue to send them to you all.
Yes i used to do home interior sales, but now I just collect milk glass, I got started in collecting the glass when I was working estate sales with a girlfriend. But I had to give it up to take on Dad full time.
My husband's name is George.
Cindi, glad to hear that there is an improvement with your sister, put you make sure to ask for help sweetie.
Mia, good luck on your job. I wasn't dependable for the company so I had to quit.
Hope everyone has a greatDay oxoxoxo Judy
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Hi Everyone

Thinking of all of you. Ply/Maria...Yes, I am stretching thin but right now it calls for it. I do wonder sometimes though. I am going to make an appt with my counselor, good idea Maria thank you. You kind of shook me up..(laughing)...
Someone wrote that their sister in law or niece can't remember died in her sleep. That this woman had a big heart. I worry sometimes of that happening to me, and to any of us who are so giving.

My brother is moving the big stuff from my sister's place of residence (her ex's condo by the beach) to her new apartment, today. Called sister to make sure she took her new meds. Full day here. Mom goes to the salon for hair cut and color and then to see her friend at a senior residence and watch the entertainment (her favorite performer Phil). Tonight, I am actually doing something for me. I have an appt with a Pyschologist for evaluation to see if I am a good candidate emotionally for the surgery...Hah! If they only knew! laughing...Have to pay $250.00 out of pocket first...geez..Appt is tonight at 7pm.

Mom made sister cry over dinner last night. She didn't mean to but it's her mouth. My sister is nine years younger so I have been like a mother to her sometimes. Will have to tell you about my sister someday...if she had had another mother her life would have been happier, this I am pretty sure of...
But, I guess God had other plans...

I love you all
Please take care of yourselves as well as your parents that you love so much...and sometimes don't.

Let's all do one thing for ourselves today that will make us happy and smile.

Cindi
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Cindi, is there any way that u can ask for some help? You are STRETCHING yourself too thin. U have so much on your plate right now, even if this is not the time for yourself, somehow you need to also care for you. I am glad that she did seek help. It would have been devastating for all of you to have lost her. We are all here for you. Take care, Maria
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Girls,
exhaustedm tonight. Sister discharged from hospital. She needs someone to watch over her..guess who it is? Yep, me....

I don't mind...just concerned about my health stretching myself so thin.
She is better...she has followup with a pyschiatrist. She saved herself by seeking help. Can't tell you what that meant to our family we thought we were going to lose her. Now there is some hope.

Take care
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Judy,

Finally saw your picture with your husband. You are adorable and your husband is cute too. I love all the things on your mantle piece. I think you and I have some things in common beside the nasty old mom and the nice dad, decorating. You look like you have a lovely home also.

Ya'll just don't know how excited I am to put a face with a name.

Love Ya'll,
Marylynne
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ply i went to you my space page , great picture i couldnt believe how much we have in common i am also a cancer, and i also love murder mystries especialy the WOMANS MURDER CLUB its not on here in the milwaukee area and i dont have cable, susan sorry to hear about your cousin, it always amazes me that someone like that would go so early and my jerk dad is still here driving me nuts, I had a talk with his friend who has supplied dad with his dirty dvd and asked him not to do this he said ok and that he didnt know they were for him my dad told him they were for someone else last time my dad said they were for my husband i was so pissed good god your 80 something why do you have to lie and make my great husband look like a jerk , but thats just my dad always blaming someone else, asshole. I dont understand how they can get stuff so mixed up my dad said he was going to spend the night at his friends house, his friend never said that he said he would pick him up thursday morning and return him thur afternoon his friend is having a rummage. I told his friend to put him far in the shade to keep him away from the public, my dad cant control his mouth he will say dirty stuff about woman well really he will say anything about any one and hes really really LOUD hope he doenst make comments about african american oh boy that would be bad i left the friend my number in case i have to pick him up early. if my dad is his usual self i bet this will be the last time my dad sees this friend . oh well im just happy hes out of the house for a few house. I start my new job on friday its full time i havent worked full time in 15 years. I wonder if im up for this i dont know how you ladies do it full time parent full time care taker and full time employee. makes me tired just typing it. talk to you later mia xoxo
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Cindi,

I forgot to tell you that is freaky that we both have daughters named Jenna. My Jenna is the bad seed. She has given me trouble since I can't tell you when. Love her no matter what though.

We all have so much in common.

Love,
Marylynne
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Cindi,

I do not have vision impairment, you are beautiful inside and out and all of the pictures I have seen so far have been beautiful also. I guess we already know what kind of people we are and that our hearts make us beautiful. RIGHT GIRLS!!!!

Susan, I am so sorry about your cousin, it scares me, it seems only the good die young. Ply, glad you got a nice surprise today.

Judy, still didn't get your picture, but I had to get my husband to do mine, didn't know how. Knew that you dad would be suffering with that stint.

Donna, still haven't gotten your picture yet either.
Went on Chayo's my space and she is just as I pictured her too, cute grandson. Love knowing what who I am talking to now.

Makes me feel so much better.

Love,
Marylynne
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Susan I am so sorry about your cousin. You are right, we are not supposed to outlive our children but it happens. My prayers are with your family. I just can't get into the mob thing. I'd rather play pogo and calm my nerves. Have to concentrate so I guess that helps my mind too,lol. Was given a surprise today. A young lady that I haven't seen in about 3 yrs came over for a short visit from Texas. I was happy to see her but sad when she left. At least I got to see her. Judy, sorry about your dad. My mom can act that way too sometimes. If u can block your mom, that would be good. I have learned to do that with some people. LOL Take care everyone, Maria Yes, I am very proud of my grandson. I love him very much but I love the other ones too. They all can get on my nerves, lol
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girls I am not good at the attachment thing on the computer I will do my best. My pictuers the few that there are are never good either.
Its so sad to have deaths of people of such young ages. I too had a cousin age 33 and another cousin age 47 that passed away.
dad had a doctor appt. today and didn't want to go, boy did he act like a 5 year old. It was the ear, nose and throat doctor. The office called to see if he was coming and I told them that he was giving me a hard time and if I had to bring him in I would give it all i had. They said it was ok not too.
He has to have the lithotripsy done again on Monday. The stint is really bothering him.
I would love to strangle her today her voice just pierces the air and all she says is degrating stuff. I love you girls oxoxoxo Judy
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Sweet mlv3000, I don't know how well you see but my pictures are never that good.

Sorry that I have not been on in a while. I have found that I play the Mobster game on myspace.com and it lets out frustration. I get to mug, steel, even kill sometimes and don't have to see any of it. Other than the stats!

I have gotten Ms. Chayo on myspace also. I love the picture Saul, you must be very proud.

For some unknown reason, I have not been able to get on my aol account. I will have to have my husband work on that, because I too would love to know what everone looks like. It is nice to see a face in your mind when you are talking to someone.

We got a phone call yesterday from one of my mother's sister's children. His name is Kevin, (my Aunt Betty has been very ill for many years now) he had bad news. Not my Aunt that has been so sick, but her daughter, the one that she counted on the most had died in her sleep, next to her husband of maybe 6 months. We are not supose to out live our children, it is just not right have to bare that kind of pain. I whatched my mother when I was 16, my brother of 32 passed away. She had to be sudated for days. With as sick as my Aunt has been I just don't know what will happen next, but if mom's sister dies, I am not sure how long mom would be here. I hate that they are so far apart, my aunt in P.A. and us in S.C., I don't believe eighter could make the trip to the other. Please just pray for the family.

My cousin had a very large heart, she tried to take care of everyone. She will be missed very much.

I hope that everyone can have a peaceful day today. Maybe we can get all the people we care for to sleep through today! LOL

Thank you girls for being who you are. No matter what our parents did, they had to have done something right to have all of us!!!!!!!!

I will do better about keeping up with everyone. Sorry again.

Love ya all,
Susan
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Donna,
sent you my picture by email last night. Didn't get yours either...
Strange

Cindi
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Maria
You are so sweet to me thank you very much. I am sorry you lost your baby girls. I am sorry for your friend's too. My belief in God is what helped me through. I know what you mean. I'm lucky to have you in my life here...to have all of you.

Love
Cindi
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Marylynne,

Thank you so much for the picture of you and your daughters! You are as I pictured you! A Southern Belle. Very nice picture...attractive woman you are, Marylynne! Guess what you are never going to believe this...my daughter's name is Jenna too!!!!!! I couldn't believe it when you said your daughter's name is Jenna. That is so freaky!

Thank you for your compliment but I beg to differ...but it was nice that you have a vision impairment! (laughing)

Love and Hugs
Cindi
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Since I can't send a picture right now, go to www.myspace.com/chayo54. then click where it says chayo 53 Rockford, Il. That is a picture of my grandson Saul and me from last year after his team won the championship in baseball.
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hello ladies, great idea about the pictures please oh please i would love if you could take the time to send them to me also. cindy as for your question where is my mother? im not sure maybe shes in hell im not sure but truly i dont hold a grudge against her, she had alzheimers and yes i took take of her i would clean the house change the sheets give her a bath comb her hair make sure her clothers where clean, I know i didnt have too but her own bio children didnt do it so i did. she fell and broke her hip she had surgery and went to a rehab nursing home she only lasted about 3 weeks she died jan of 03. And truly i never really thought i was abused as a kid until i decieded to move back home then the things came back to me like when she tied me to the wash lines in the basement when she did the laundry, im pretty sure i would not have run away i was so scared i be taken away much less run away crazy huh. It always amazes me that that after all we have been through as kids we are not killers ourselves. I dont drink or smoke or do drugs id be to afraid id be addicted it would so so easy to be a drunk and forget every thing . my parents ruined my past i WILL NOt let them ruin my furture too. I have good and loving kids i have a 24 son and a 21 daughter who is married and has a sweet baby, a 9 year old daughter and a5 year old son. and yes you read that right 24,21,9 and 5. i love every minute of it i wouldnt trade my life for any ones as much as we have had bad in our live thats how much good we have. thanks for all you love and good wishes i love you if you want to see my big kids you can go to there my space page. there names are casey liederbach and jenni liederbach you can get to jennis by going to caseys.
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Cindi,

Read all your postings today, and feel your pain. I think seeing the grandchildren is a good thing no matter what. You have no control over what happens to them, their mother or for that matter what happened to your son. I keep reminding myself, in the big scheme of things, I really have no control over anything, except my cleaning, OCD. That is the only thing that keeps me normal, so to speak. Even though your grandchildren or closer to their other grandmother, children always remember having good times with their other grandparents. My children were raised around my parents and saw my husband's parents rarely, but have fonder memories of his parents than mine. I wonder why?

You exude love and love will come back to you 100 fold. You go ahead with your steps for surgery and god will take care of you because you are a caring and kind person. As for your sister, she is where she should be until she is stable on a medication.

Sent pictures to all of ya'll's e-mails.

Love,
Marylynne
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