I'm reading on here that people are asking what they should be paid to take care of their aging or ill parents.
Am I NUTS to think that it's our responsibility to take care of our parents and family?
I more than gladly took care of my Mom when she was sick and dying, my Brother when he was sick and my husband when he was sick and dying. I hated that I had to, but I did it because I loved them all. My brother is fine. But now I no longer have my Mom and my Husband.
I would gladly do it all over. I wouldn't ask for a red cent to care for any of them or anyone else I care about.
It's supposed to be my Christian duty. But that's just my belief...
I guess im just crazy. ?? ..
But is that the way it's done now? We are supposed to charge our family to care for them???
If so.. what has this world come to?
1 Timothy 5:8 (The Message version)
"Take care of widows who are destitute. If a widow has family members to take care of her, let them learn that religion begins at their own doorstep and that they should pay back with gratitude some of what they have received. This pleases God immensely. You can tell a legitimate widow by the way she has put all her hope in God, praying to him constantly for the needs of others as well as her own. But a widow who exploits people’s emotions and pocketbooks—well, there’s nothing to her. Tell these things to the people so that they will do the right thing in their extended family. Anyone who neglects to care for family members in need repudiates the faith. That’s worse than refusing to believe in the first place."
People need to decide for themselves what they will do. Also, this doesn't apply to non-believers, since it is in the New Testament and written to believers.
The ‘Jefferson Bible’ was put together by Thomas Jefferson to collect all the quotes from Jesus himself – even though those, recollected at least 2 decades later, may be inaccurate. It’s a lot shorter than the New Testament, of which almost half is written by Paul.
I’m sure he would’ve like to stay in his home too but he made the best of it and actually enjoyed being around people his own age.
After all, a parent’s most important job is to make sure their children are equipped for a self-sustaining life in order to secure the future of their descendants. I honestly don’t know where humans went off track with that but the consequences are devastating.
My responsibility is to my children. If I lost my job while taking care of my father, my 10-year-old girls would not have a home. There is no second income to safeguard us. It's just me.
My father can get full residential care at the VA for no cost but refuses it. I will not put my children in a compromising position because of their selfishness. I am also done fighting them. Eventually, the hospital will refuse to release him home, as he has been there 3 times in the last 6 weeks (him and his wife just keep checking each other out)
Most people can't live without a paycheck. Having a job is called being responsible
How did you manage caring for your parents without an income? Was someone else supporting you? Trust fund? Not everyone has that.
It should be evident now that grown children not helping their aging parents & other relatives is not a one-size-fits-all.
That judging someone asking how to get paid is short-sighted. Caregivers are people & people need money to live on.
It's not a widespread rotten generation, full of self-centered people without morals.
(Sure there are those types in the world. Some I personally encountered a few. Multiple versions of the 'Entitled', the 'House Hungry' &/or 'Inheritance Driven' familes. Prioritising keeping property or money over selling & spending it towards the elder's care).
It is a good discussion.. What we think we SHOULD do, what we WANT to do can be very different to what we CAN do. This is what can cause us pain.
I have met many people who dearly WANT to wrap their old Mom, Dad, Aunt, whoever up & take them home to care for but just could not. Due to many factors: care needs being too high, medical issues too complex, exit seeking & other behavious of concern, more hands needed.
Funds not there to hire extra help.
I've said it before.. life is not 'The Waltons' for most of us.
Not every elder is sitting smiling on the porch swing. Still independant with their ADLs (even still providing useful labour to the household). Allowing working age adults to freely work.
I am done here now.