Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?

Smeshque: Sent you a pm yesterday. Praying for you - whatever it is God knows.

Hugs, Smeshque. Praying for you.

Please pray for me.

“Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” 
Romans 8:39

I hope everyone is doing ok.

“Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.” 
1 John 4:4

FrazzledMama: Thank you so much. My LO endured an over 2-decade illness.

Llama, I'm very sorry for your loss. Praying for you and your family.

Smeshque: Yes, I had mentioned the out of state funeral that I had attended in a recent post.

smeshque: Yes, it was my cousin, who had Aplastic Anemia that turned into Myelodysplastic Syndrome. Then in late June, it turned into pancreatic cancer. Thank you.

LL- I am sorry, is this someone Dear to you that has passed on? Sorry for the loss.

Though a handsome mortal had to say "see you one day"
Do not mourn for my temporary home
I now am in awe of God's ray
I am in the company of many; I am not alone..........
IN MEMORIUM of Raymond Richard Tison, 4/3/1952-9/8/2018

Smeshque: That is powerful and beautiful. Such lovely poetry for the soul.

Look to Jesus, our Lord and Saviour in times of trouble, turmoil and trials and HE will see you through every single time. HE never wavers.

............Some build their hopes on the ever drifting sand,
Some on their fame, or their treasure, or their land;
Mine’s on a rock that forever will stand,
Jesus, the Rock of Ages...............

Beautiful, Smeshque, and well said. :)

It's hard this life. The struggles and strife. But in all our woes and peril, let us not forget our true purpose. Our true worth and value. Caregiving can suck the life right out of you. But this is our reality, and sometimes we can forget what our true purpose is and fall into depression or complete feelings of woe and anguish.
Everything we do, we are to do for the glory of our Saviour. That means next time we have to clean up something gross, or our patience is being tested on every side, and we feel like giving up, let's just remember who we are really doing this for.

1 Peter 4:13
But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

“No one sees it, or will ever know ...but Jesus, He sees, and He gives us the strength to get up and do it another day. “

Amen. Beautifully said.

Hello,
I have thought about this subject myself. As a believer, the scriptures encourage us to love others as we love ourselves...so it seems that we are meant to take care of ourselves as well. Just like the flight attendants instructions are to give yourself H20 first even before a baby, because in order to be able to hold the oxygen up to the baby you have to give yourself some first, or you will pass out and can't help the baby, or anyone else. So it seems - in order to help others- some self care is required. Like if someone is in need and all you have is your rent money- well, you can't risk losing the roof over your own head to meet another person's need. I have over the years developed a personal policy that I never loan money that I can't afford to give away. That way, if they pay me back fine if they don't fine. I don't even care if they don't pay me back, because in my mind it is a gift.
I am in a situation where my Mom's needs are so great that I have little left at the end of every day. I am so tired...I have forgotten what it felt like to have a life of my own and time to do things I want to do. Time with friends ... But I know this is temporary....I know the time I have left with my mom is short ... And reminding myself of this fact makes me pay attention and do the very best for her that I can. No one sees it, or will ever know ...but Jesus, He sees, and He gives us the strength to get up and do it another day. And when Mom passes away.... I can rest, knowing I gave it my best. I am going to miss her so very much. I won't miss the long hours and the work, but I will miss my precious mother so very much. So that is how I cope with the temporary loss of self during this time of my life. I think I will have more peace knowing I cared for her as no one else would. I will be glad that she did not have to die alone or with a stranger. I feel this is a blessing to my life that will help me bear it when she has gone to heaven. I won't grieve her loss in the same way my brother and sister will. So in a way it is giving me a better future spending this special time with my mom. I get very tired and burned out sometimes for sure ... but I know it is what I have been called to do. What I chose to say yes to. I think it is making me a more patient person for sure. I think it makes us stronger too, and ultimately the time spent care giving is not only a loss but a gain of becoming a different sort of person than we would have been otherwise.
Time passes no matter what we are doing... Ultimately if I am in God's will and doing whatever it is He has called me to do....I can't lose out on anything by doing what He wants.
We will lose everything in the end, leave everything and everyone behind...So loss is part of this life . But knowing John 3:16- Jesus said -who ever believes in me will have eternal life-...So as short and temporary as life is here on earth...we have life that lasts for eternity even right now...if we believe in Jesus.... we have a long long long life ahead of us. So just do what you can in the moment to reconnect with yourself ...read a favorite author ...call a friend...write a card to someone ...even if you have to get up an hour early or stay up an hour later....You are the only you. I read the old book Streams in the Desert and find a lot of comfort there...the Psalms help me a lot too. Praying and Praising takes my mind away from the daily grind ....God help us ....because as care givers we need it.

I am barely hanging on by one thread it seems---out of state funeral, extensive vein treatment, arthritic hip and cold I picked up while getting an exray of the hip because, after all, clinics and hospitals are huge Petri dishes.
The reference to the stumbling block is the vein treatments, which will be many.
In addition, I did a slip and fall in my bath tub. A larger stumbling block.

Absoluetly Longhaul.



But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God.
Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.
For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:
But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;
And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are:
That no flesh should glory in his presence.
1 Corinthians 1:24-29

Mary was a teenager. Moses had a stutter. David was physically small and weak. All the ‘greats’ were human. All the ‘greats’ endured their modern-day ridicule for not ‘conforming’, but also they fiercely followed the Truth. Nowhere is it stated it was an easy task for them, but we all know without God being their strength, their ‘greatness’ would never have come to be.
We are His hands and feet. Wrinkles, bunions, hangnails. But with God ALL things are possible.
He is with us.

Thank you Wubba,
I have been learning that to be true. If I am not taking care of myself I am doing a poor job for anyone else. It is hard to get my mind to do it, but I truly understand it now. We have to take care of ourselves to do our best as you said, and that it's not being selfish. I'm learning.......

Before a fireman runs into a burning building, he puts on his gear to protect himself. He would never not put on his gear first. At the fire house, there's a kitchen for nourishment and beds for rest. The point being, as selfless as these individuals are running into burning buildings to save others, they don't do it carelessly.

Granted, that's not a religious analogy. But I find something spiritual in the work our responders do for us when there's a crisis, and it's the analogy my own pastor used when I met with him to discuss the challenges of caregiving.

As he concluded in our discussion that day, your faith shines brightest when you are centered. To be centered you need to nourish your body and your mind properly, and you need to rest. These are not selfish things to do. They are what allow you to do the good work you've been called to do.

I hope that helps. Peace.

I hope everyone is hanging in there and relying on the Lord for His grace and mercy and strength for endurance in these trials of our lives.
Not only relying on Him and asking for help and guidance but offering praise and thanksgiving with the fruits of our lips to our Savior.
Things have been rough these last few months for me, and I know for some of you as well. We are not alone in this journey and we are never given more than we can handle. Of course handling it on our own, we will mess it up, so never forget our help comes from above. May God bless you all in all your needs.

“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” 
Matthew 7:12

Duck- Happy Belated Labor Day!!



“Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” 
Matthew 28:20

DDDuck: Happy Labor Day to you as well!

Happy Labor Day to All!!

Oh, stumbling block, get out of thine way. Amen.

I hope everyone is doing well as can be in whatever the situations are for you. Maintaining at least. May God bless you all in this hard and difficult journey.


I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.
Thy way, O God, is in the sanctuary: who is so great a God as our God?
Psalms 77:12-13

Smeshque: Right now it appears that you are being stretched at both ends, e.g. work and home. IMHO, if you continue on this pattern, you may break. You'll have to ask yourself if the extra paycheck is worth your fatigue, stress, and waiting on the Lord. In my 50s, I would arise for work at 3:00 O'clock in the morning and I was putting in a 70 hour work week, Everything at home was falling by the wayside, e.g. I could no longer do it after a 45-year, full-time career,