Can in the best interest override guardianship?
Can in the best interest over ride a guardianship?
It absolutely can. I had many (including the professionals) tell me I could not move my BIL from his Memory Care closer to home because I had "no authority."
Guess what? I moved him.
When my husband's mother's guardian had paper work made out to place her into a nursing facility, every one tried to tell him "there is nothing you can do."
Guess what? He put a stop to that and his mom got to go stay with her granddaughter.
So my advice to some is, "Don't you ever give up on your loved over what someone else says." You keep fighting for their best interest. Be strong. Be courageous. Stand firm. Don't be moved.
I am tired of the negativity and false hope because there is hope.
Can I tell you "Good and Love" will over ride "Bad and Hate" any day.
To God be all the Glory. : )
I am feeling good today folks. : )
We are on the battlefield but can I tell you "We are going to make it." Can I tell you keep pushing? It's not over.
I am thankful for the two I take care of in my home. Thankful that I can help my father who has his own body aches and pains, with my mom who has some dementia.
Thankful that I can take food and gifts to my BIL. Can go visit friends and family who are sick and disabled.
I'm telling you, " I LOVE IT".
One step at a time. We got this.
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Thank you for great support and advice.
Most Fiduciaries appointed as guardian by the court are very willing to work with loving and engaged families to get the elder moved as near to them as they are able. They would so much rather have a good relationship with family than one that is adversarial. This is such a trying job. I know the Fiduciary in care of my bro's ex is absolutely wonderful. And has he ever been through the mill with the ex who is alcoholic with resulting encephalopathy but certainly well enough to always adamantly want what he wants, and always in trouble with leaving to get mouthwash or sanitizer or whatever he can to make "cocktails". Then in rehab with Covid which did more damage, needing a locked facility. Fiduciary worked so hard to make that work, new facility so like his old but with locked cottage. Just busted his butt. That said, has become a FRIEND over time, so I am engaged with him on a personal basis at this point, very fond of him. So the Fiduciary has both me and a loving Sister, older and far away in the South, looking in on and advocating for the best care possible for the ex. That helps!
Let's just say that it helps to have engaged families and loved ones with a really POSITIVE and NON-adversarial relationship with the Fiduciary. Their jobs are so hard and most do this work not to make a whole lot of money, but to really serve the people who are already up against it without family to protect them, or with family who just cannot take on more.
I know I often defend fiduciaries doing this work because I so love the one I know. And I know they are like any other profession; there may be a few bad apples.
With anything, in my humble opinion, the best way forward is a positive and loving relationship with people. If that doesn't work, not much of anything will. My partner, whose life was commercial real estate management, says that the Fiduciaries do what he did in his job. Problem solving a constant. I guess most jobs are purely problem solving. What a relief that this problem for you is now SOLVED. Mark that file closed.
Hence, I thought it would be in his best interest if he was moved closer to home so he could see his family. (my husband, his baby brother - is his heart and soul)
Thus, some were so adamant that I should give up because (they say)"I had no authority."
Henceforth, had I listened to them, my BIL would have still been sad, depressed, lonely and confused in a MC four hours away from the ones he loves.
With that being said, I was saying, Sometimes it is better to listen to your heart than to listen to people. They may offer "false hope" when there is "hope." Where there is a will; there is a way.
Now, might I add: "I am a firm believer in Obeying the Laws of the Land."
Blessings : )
Reading down on some answers I am now myself confused (not unusual).
I am reading your post: "Guess what! I moved him" to mean you now have guardianship? Am I right? That you petitioned the court and said that your Husband, his brother, is able, willing and will lovingly provide housing and guardianship? And the court said yes? I know you would never act illegally, so assume this is all on the dotted line.
Anyone can petition the court in any matter such as this. It is always in the interest of an incompetent elder to have loving family assume care. The court only assigns fiduciaries in cases where there is no adequate, willing, loving family able to request guardianship or when a family is literally trying to tear an elder in two with a war, usually over their assets. Fiduciaries are almost always completely overwhelmed with work. Especially now. While in Court the Fiduciary, sworn to represent best interests of adult, would question family wishing to assume care, he or she will likely be more than happy to turn over an elder into the loving arms of family.
Again, congratulations. Would love it if you elaborated about your "day in court" because I think many on Aging Care might be in this position with an elder in future.
You say your BIL has been moved home now with you and his brother, your husband? Will your Husband now assume guardianship?
The Court would almost ALWAYS would rather have a loving, willing, capable, involved and genuine family take guardianship. They will always listen to a petition to assume or re-assume care of an elder or a child. And most Fiduciaries today in Covid-19 are so overwhelmed I would bet one less to watch over will be a relief for him or her.
I am glad things worked out for you. I wish you luck in your future care giving. It is a true sacrifice. I know my limitations, and they would have precluded me from giving care in my home, but I certainly admire the heroism of those who can and do make this sacrifice.
The BEST guardian for an elder is a loving, willing, capable, qualified family member; there is absolutely no question of that. Fiduciaries appointed by the court are often absolutely drowning in work; the one I know works in a good size So Cal town with only 5 others available. They are swamped, and in Covid-19 days even finding adequate facilities--safe and affordable-- is truly a nightmare. While they advocate for the best interests of their elders who have no family or families at war, or families unwilling to be involved, they are often attacked non-stop by these families to the extent they have to hide where they live. So I admire and celebrate THEIR sacrifice, as well. It's a tough job. This fellow is my hero for the care he gives my bro's ex partner daily. His family did not wish to be involved with him; he was alone.
I am certain there are bad apples in any professional barrel (am binge-watching Better Call Saul! WOW!)But for the most part, this is hard selfless work.
Whatever the story, it always has two sides. And whatever the war we choose the mountaintop on which we are willing to sacrifice ourselves.
I am so happy you and your husband won this round, and the Fiduciary is likely thrilled to have one less to watch over.
Hailey, if I misunderstood what you were trying to convey, I apologize.
I read it to say that you have every right to advocate for your loved one to ensure that their best interests are being considered when decisions are made for them.
I think that is actually part of guardianship but, unless someone stands up for these individuals deemed incompetent who really knows what is in their best interest? Making sure they are safe and housed doesn't always mean best interests are being served.
Now, if you are saying that you petitioned the court to make the changes you wanted, and were granted permission, that's one thing. But your post sort of reads, to me at least, that you just went ahead and did what you wanted.
Now, maybe that worked out for you, but I certainly wouldn't recommend it to someone.
I am glad you asked me the question. Thank you. I'm happy to respond.
If a person has a "court appointed guardian" and they choose not to "do what's in the best interest" for that person, "The judge will over rule the court order." It's not the judge's fault the guardian did not comply with the orders.
I am sorry about how my BIL's guardian felt but it wasn't about his guardian, it was about my BIL. (please don't misunderstand me that is not intended to sound bad) His wish was to be closer to his family.
That was in his best interest.
By the way, I would like to clarify. You asked if I think someone should do whatever they think is right.
No, In my humble opinion, I don't believe they should do whatever they think is right but "do what is in the best interest" for that person. There is a difference.
How does your BIL's guardian feel about that, I wonder?
Probably not a good idea to disregard a court's order.
Just saying.