Did Hospice rush your loved ones death?

KatieKate, I hear you. We need a better end of life protocol. It's just a fine line that gets crossed too easily. I begged the nurse, the doctor, the Hospice, everyone involved to do whatever necessary to let her pass. If any of you have heard of terminal agitation, look it up. And yes, it can be worse than described. NO ONE told me about this. Mom couldn't speak, mostly deaf, couldn't respond, couldn't let me know if she was in pain. Her eyes wouldn't open, then wouldn't close all the way. She was just a skeleton on the bed in torture. Jerking her body all around, drawing her knees up, grabbing at her back. She squeezed my hand in response once when I asked if she knew I was there, and amazingly said thank you once when given a pain pill. And through all of this the nurses and doctor just stood there and said 'it's the process' REALLY? I kept saying 'Well it's tortuous, so if you would PlEASE bring on some meds that will provide the 'comfort' you talked about, I'm all for it.' I was her healthcare agent, able to make her decisions, we talked about all this and it was NOT what she wanted. The hospitals and doctors are so afraid of being sued that they withhold helping someone to pass with a larger dose of something. It's just archaic and wrong. We need new legislature. Now

I felt the same way , My mother was given so much medication she just slept , couldn't eat until she just passed , the day she went in she was laughing talking to us and trying to get out of bed, I think they over dosed her to keep her in bed and just lay there sleeping until she died , if I could do over I would have , I just thought they knew what they were doing !

I'm not speaking of and rushed death. Hospice was unrelenting getting us to sign up. Mom was at a SNF. Then we never saw the Hospice people again. I called a few times and all it was, was the Hospice worker taking notes from me over the phone and relaying them to her Dr and then taking days to call me back. Mom's Dr said, You should just call me directly. One time, and only one time, they sent a volunteer to sit with Mom when I couldn't be there. The Nurse on duty said it was a woman that sat and prayed over my mom for an hour. My Mom's papers all clearly said NO RELIGIOUS STUFF. So, wasn't that great? Someone comes in when you're too weak to kick them out and preaches over you. Hospice in my town is all about the money. There was not one bit of actual "comfort" given. My Mom passed in agony and discomfort, with 5mg of hydrocodone on board. Yes, I'm angry right now. It will take a long time to get the images and sounds from the forefront of my mind. If I had taken her home her passing could have been better

I know many people want to protect Hospice and there probably are some good ones in there but since all people are faulty there can be some bad who think they have power to rush death. I know this happened with my dad. They really have not much accountability and can justify their actions in too many instances. I was married to a doctor and when his patients went to the hospital in serious conditions he ordered the nurses were not allowed to give his patients end-of-life treatments because too many times they were too anxious to end it all for the patient. Many times his patient would recover and who knows what would happen with an anxious nurse wanting to prematurly end their suffering...according to the nurses opinion which wasn't always correct.

Well...if you read these posts here (and elsewhere on the web). A lot of them describe the events as fighting with hospice to get the care mom or dad needed. Taken off the meds for the health conditions and loved one unable to get that care restored.

I too was told that I could take him out of hospice care anytime, yet..read on..all too often the attempt to remove the loved one from hospice results in investigations by APS for accusations brought by hospice!!

I do not doubt that many people are glad for the hospice care. But, sitting on the edge of having that decision put before many people...they make decisions without real information, and they lose control when they put their loved one in hospice, then spend the rest of their loved ones life fight to get control back because of the standard of care that was not revealed to them up front.

For someone who is in a state of agony from which there is no recovering, I would opt for medical suicide. Perhaps, hospice fills that role...heavy painkillers and removal of lifesaving meds. But, if that is truly the state of affairs...then withdrawal of needed meds and administer of just painkillers and meds to calm is truly cruel. This is a slow motion medical suicide. I would find a way to take loved one to Beliguim. (Perhaps, here in Colorado that option will be available after next week). But, again..that option is not available once you give control to Hospice.

If I had it all to do again..I would have discussed all of this back when my Dad was still mentally able to understand. Back when he signed the DNR, I would have included directive on hospice and/or medical suicide. It only makes sense to be able to add that to all the other medical decision the law allows a person to make up front while they still can. Then, this topic would not even exist.

Katiekate, maybe I'm misunderstanding the meaning of your comment, but it seems that you picture having a patient/Loved One on hospice care as "handing over control" to someone else?

I can agree with that idea, but I'd qualify it further to say that we are handing over control to those who have far more experience with end of life than we do. That's a godsend for most families. I'm thankful my grandmother had hospice care. I made enough mistakes trying to do all the End-of-Life care myself, making bad decisions about forcing food, etc. Having them to give me guidelines was very welcome and made my grandmother's transition easier on her.

I'm very glad that you feel not going with hospice care, in your dad's case, was the right choice. That's all of any of us want - to feel we did what is in the best interest of our Loved One.

I am amazed that this thread is still going. It just shows you how intense the feelings are!

For me, I did not go the hospice route. I read everything I could put my hands on. I asked for every bit of literature I could get from every source, including hospice.

I concluded that giving up the control was not going to happen.

My Dad passed away. He was not in pain. He was not among strangers. He was on his usual mess to help control the many health issues he had, as well as pain meds. I am still convinced that it was right for him.

The question keeps coming back to control. Simply put, it is better to have control than to hand it over and wish you hadn't.

Please keep in mind that hospice knows when the time is near. they are loving and know through experience. It was 1/5 years since dad died, and he was on hospice care for eight months. Please do not berate hospice. Mom was under hospice care only 16 days, not enough. She suffered needlessly. Peace.

I'm so sorry you went through all that. Horrific. Unfortunately, it feels familiar to what we experienced also. I was glad I found the Hospicepatients.org site as it was informative, but it's very hard when families and caregivers do battle. Trained nurses have a very hard time seeing past the "untrained" family member. It's a difficult time for each side to stop and really listen. And it's sad that it even feels like opposite sides :(

I had asked Hospice at every visit to go back to her old pain meds & said I don't understand how having monsters with long black legs chasing you for over 4 months is comfort care. Before I could file a complaint against them they falsified Mothers file & claimed that I was aggressive & confrontational and not caring for her. All because I asked questions & we both asked that she be put back on her old meds. Was that not my job as her daughter & care provider. They falsified records to make family look incompetent when we were able to keep Mother alive since 2003 when we were told she was dying. APS stepped in & forced Mother into a nursing home for a higher level of care. It just happens to be a facility that the same Hospice agency works out of. Hmmm kickbacks? Here is the higher level of care she rec'd. A 3" hole in the back of her heal that was clear to the bone & tunneling. A knee scrape was allowed to become infected & pus filled as well as acquiring a UTI from not being properly cleaned. I put her in the hospital & she was returned to a sister facility where in two weeks I asked them to watch her closely, that I felt she was getting pneumonia. Two weeks later, full blown pneumonia. Then a sever case of cradle cap. Physically roughed by three times by staff where her roommate turned the worker in. An unexplained shoulder injury, unexplained bruises, left if urine soaked sheets all day causing red scaly rash & on & on. Guess who your report complaints to in Oregon? APS! Are you f'g kidding! They forced her into the facility & this is the "higher level of care" she needs? She did not have all these issues at home. Hospice claimed I said I would not longer roll her. That is not what I said & the physician noted this correctly, but the nurses were not doing their job. They said family could voice concerns, but when you do you are a problem. Here it is a year later and my Mother is mentally alert, she just can't walk or use her fingers. Mom asked for her gun on many occasions & I had to explain that it was in another room, locked in a safe & broken; that she could not use it. But nurses wrote that "I" kept bringing up a gun. they also took three to four words per a full conversation which completely changed the content of our conversations. Don't trust these people. I will never go on Hospice & never go into a nursing home to be neglected like my Mother is.

My Mother is a strong & stubborn woman. She has survived three different cancers, kidney failure, strokes, heart attack etc. What she almost did not survive was Hospice. Now, I am not saying all Hospice agencies are this way, but in our area we only have three & from our families experience they were on the way to purposely killing our Mother before her time. Mother was very ill do to yet another UTI that she acquired in a short term stay in a nursing facility. We were told she was dying. She was having trouble getting to her PCP to been seen every three months in order to get her pain med prescriptions. We were told she needed Hospice. Hospice came in & said it was not time & that we needed to go back one step & sign her up with another agency that was pre-hospice. That agency came in & said Mother needed Hospice in the mean time Mother said she wanted to try physical therapy & wanted to be able to at least walk 30 feet. Eventually, Mother was signed up for Hospice. They immediately started to monkey with her meds. Some were dc'd & others were changed to what they said "they thought would better for her" & promised our Mother & family that if they did not work for her she could fall back to her old pain meds. This was an outright lie. Our Mother immediately changed & not for the better. Mother immediately became agitated & combative which only happened occasionally when she had a UTI or was put on Cipro. Mother was immediately taken off her break through pain med, Oxycodone & her Methadone was increased substantially. She was also on three 100 mcg Fentanyl patches & they took one away & increased the Methadone. Then the 2nd patch was dc'd & Methadone increased again & then they added Dilaudid. At each pain med increase I requested an updated med list so I could put it on her bedroom door, so if something happened to me her other children from out of state could step right in.They refused. I had to fire Hospice because I suspected the nurse was impaired. Three times she drove up to the home & drove right up over the curb onto the sidewalk. She would not show up & neither her nor the agency she worked for called to cancel. Three more times the agency actually called in sick for her, but the replacement nurse had no idea what was going on because the notes were sketchy & I had to spend the entire time catching her up. The old nurse came back & said she would order pain meds on Tuesday & on Sunday I was calling to find out where they were because we had less than one day supply left on hand. We also spoke about her bringing in wound care supplies at her next visit & she forgot to bring them, saying she didn't even remember talking about supplies. The barrier cream I was using on pressure sores acquired in the nursing home were slowly healing. It was a slow process because Mother wasn't eating as much & not getting nutrients. Hospice change the barrier cream & Mother had a reaction to it. Hospice said we do not cure, we let nature take its course. For two months they refused to change the barrier cream to the one that worked for Mother, but kept the one that irritated her skin even though on the tube it says discontinue use of symptoms last longer than 7 days.Mother was thrashing about on the new pain meds & our request for a full length bed rail was denied. They cited that they were illegal. I would find out later through the Oregon Governors Advocacy Office, that they are legal to use in a private home. I only needed it up when I left her bedroom. The second agency was a bigger mistake. They monkeyed even more with Mother's pain meds & added Haldol to the mix. Mother started seeing monsters with long black legs flying through the air chasing her. Since she could no longer walk after being on Hospice, she would thrash about trying to get away from the monsters & flip herself out of bed hurting herself. I asked this Hospice agency for a full bed rail and they refused. They increased the Haldol to 2.5 mg every 30 minutes up to 5 times in a row. I requested an updated med list for Mom's bedroom door & was refused. Mother became even more agitated & would not sleep for 3-4 days at a time; so I didn't get to sleep for 3-4 days at a time. So Hospice wanted to add an antihistamine to help her sleep. I informed them that Mother was allergic to Antihistamines. Hospice asked me what her reaction was & I said I did not know, that it was years before I began taking care of her. Hospice assured me it would be OK. I again said she was allergic & they insisted that it would be OK. It was not. Mother began punching me in the face & body, was totally out of control & throwing up a white bubble bath foam. Time & time again I was told that her symptoms were "terminal agitation". They were not, it was all induced by massive amount of pains meds. Once hospice was out of the picture I put Mom in the hospital & they put her on her old pain meds. It took over 2 weeks, but she was alert & making videos for family.

Yes=my sister was lying slumped in her bed and asleep=at one point she said my name clearly but in a panic. The congestion was heavy in her chest. I requested that they sit her up higher on her pillow as well as crank the bed up a bit. She was over medicated in my opinion. The process took seven to eight days for her to pass. I wanted her transferred out to receive better care but
this was assisted living facility and so she passed alone. I still have issues with her care or lack thereof.

I'd just like to say something here that I feel is good to keep in mind. Sometimes when we are overwhelmed and are really needing assistance, like when a loved one is passing, we turn to someone and assume they have all the answers. Mainly because it's their job to have the answers. But we mustn't judge ALL of Hospice by the individual nurses. In their field, they are no different than a hairdresser in her field. There are wonderfully competent ones, and there are ones you wish you hadn't come across. The big difference being that a bad haircut doesn't usually haunt us the way a bad death does. No comparison. I live in a small town, 20,000 or so residents spread out. Hospice here is different than in a big city. And each Hospice worker is as different from one another as you and I. Never, never go into any situation and feel like a victim. If something doesn't feel right, speak UP!! There are no do-overs here. It's understandable that we don't know WHAT we want to do, or HOW to proceed because we may have never experienced someone's death before. But we usually know if something doesn't feel right. Each and every person is an individual with their own personalities and agendas. If you're not comfortable with a particular person speak up and ask if there's someone else. Try and be clear about what your wishes are and when things veer off course, speak up and say what's bothering you. If they treat you like you're being difficult, so what? They're not going to invite you to dinner? This isn't their show. But when you're lost and confused, ask what they're going to do and decide if it sounds good. If not, ask more questions about it, and if it still doesn't sound good, say so. Also, go to hospicepatients.org and read. I got more info from the internet that all the doctors and Hospice people put together. You know the saying, "It's your life" ? Well, it's your death too

So Sorry for your loss. I know how you feel.

Today my wife's father will be taken to hospice, he can no longer eat, or drink, the only way to keep a 93-year-old man from dying is to use feeding tubes. He would not want that, sooner or later it going to happen, why let them suffer? The law will not allow these people to die with dignity. I hate it as much as anyone, but there comes a time we must let go. In this situation, there is no other alternative. I went through this with 3 people in the last 5 years, all were at their end. Nothing else could be done. I only hope that I will not suffer the same fate.

Also from the original question---I had a dear uncle on hospice care in his home and our entire family is convinced that the hospice nurses hastened his death. He was sitting up at the dinner table happily having a meal with family, doing quite well for him one evening, and went from that to deceased within hours. It was within the time for a particular set of caregivers to come on duty and administer meds that it happened. The big thing about this is, the hospice workers were nothing but kind and compassionate to him, provided excellent care that everyone involved was well pleased with. Our family saw this as a bit of over medication that eased my uncle out of this world, something that was quickly and cruelly approaching anyway. It was an act of kindness in our thoughts.

As far a rushing death in hospice. I have been through 5 hospice situations with friends and family. My SIL was 11 days. They provided morphine to control pain ans seizures. She was not given too much, she passed on her own. My grandfather was given the same, I sat through his seizures for 24 hours until he passed 20 minutes after I left the room. The nurses treated him like a king until the very end. Mom wasn't in hospice but did not wake from surgery, for 2 days we stood bedside. The tubes removed and more time yet. My sibling said to me she was going to have them push more morphine which meant inhibiting the breathing. It was like I was not allowed to say a word.... nudge, nudge.. I knew what it meant. It was like my sibling had a train to catch. In the end did it help mom? She was brain dead as far as the scans showed. She waited until everyone was out but my dad to pass. Was she aware? In some respects I think so. Medically was it the right choice? There was no coming back so for the body to suffer until it naturally declines is a long time. Was it pushed forward? I think so but maybe only for a few hours.... in the end it was the right choice, I would probably want someone to make that choice for me if there was no return. I still have difficult thoughts about the conversation with my sibling. Seeing what I have seen in the medical field over the years is the body can only take so much. If it is that far along decisions have to be made but it is still painful. The nurses in hospice are truly angles, we only see one patient, they see many and can tell when it is time.

I have been attacked so many time I simply do care anymore, I have learned there are a lot of mean people in this world and it is best to just ignore them. I have enough on my plate now dealing with my wife's father and mother. My wife's father is 93 blind, deaf and bedridden. My mother-in-law has dementia and requires care 24/7, what many do not realize is the burden it puts on the family. My wife, sister-in-law, her aunt and grandson have to sit with my father-in-law 24/7. He continually pulls at his tubes.
I learned many years ago how to keep house, plus keep up the lawn and house repairs, this means I have double the burdens to deal with. I am 71 years old with chronic back problems, yet I push on, why because I have too.
Now we are dealing with a parent that needs care 24/7 and the doctor doesn't seem to care, or they don't know the answers. It is very frustrating to ask a question and get a shoulder shrug for an answer.

Pam373, my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.

I agree with Babalou above, your Dad's passing was from something else, not the morphine. It could have been an aneurysm.

In Hospice care the usual dosage is between 5-15mg to help keep the pain down. In order for morphine to take a life, the minimum dosage would need to be 200mg. I hope that will give you comfort knowing it wasn't the morphine.

Zytrhr sorry I got your sex wrong but that does not alter my opinion of the things you have written even though you are still grieving your mother's loss.
Calling Hospice nurses "muderers" is beyond unacceptable.

Perhaps he had a stroke. Or a heart attack.

Yes the hospice nurse gave my dad a large dose of morphine when he was still talking. He even was sitting up earlier that day and ate a half of cheeseburger and a cup of coffee. He was fine the night before when my mom was asking if he was in pain and he said no. He had been on hospice just one day and was given only 25mg that day. Later when the nurse came she did not even ask my dad if he was in pain even when he was still talking. The nurse told my mom, sister, and brother that she could tell he was in pain by looking at his face but my family knew him better than she and they didn't see it in his face. She gave him a whole syringe of the activation and morphine and he never woke up after that. He died. The nurse must have thought she did something wrong because she said. "That shot didn't make him die." Then what made him die suddenly when he was only on hospice for one day and he was still talking and eating?

Yes the hospice nurse gave my dad a large dose of morphine when he was still talking. He even was sitting up earlier that day and ate a half of cheeseburger and a cup of coffee. He was fine the night before when my mom was asking if he was in pain and he said no. He had been on hospice just one day and was given only 25mg that day. Later when the nurse came she did not even ask my dad if he was in pain even when he was still talking. The nurse told my mom, sister, and brother that she could tell he was in pain by looking at his face but my family knew him better than she and they didn't see it in his face. She gave him a whole syringe of the activation and morphine and he never woke up after that. He died. The nurse must have thought she did something wrong because she said. "That shot didn't make him die." Then what made him die suddenly when he was only on hospice for one day and he was still talking and eating?

zytrhr,
I am sorry for the loss of your mother. It is a very painful thing to go through. It seems like you felt out of control in her passing, as most of us do. But we are all going to pass in our own individual way.

Your mother had nothing to do with why people are upset with you. That is NOT why people are angry. You claim to be sensitive to the dying and their families, so WHY do you write such horrible things? Maybe you don't realize WHAT you are saying and HOW it comes across to people. Maybe English isn't your first language and you have trouble navigating through the "rules of etiquette" of what to say and what not to say in this culture. Can't you see that many of us are outraged by what you write? Why do you think that we are angry? Because you have hurt and offended us by what you've said.

I will give you some tips on what NOT to say here.
1. Do NOT say anything negative about the people caring for a loved ones' family member. (The hospice isn't coming because they're just waiting for her to die anyway.) That is very OFFENSIVE and it just isn't said.
2. Try to be as comforting to the family of the dying person as possible, just like you wanted everyone (connected with your mom), to be with you. Do not just blurt out your opinion, check it first to see whether YOU'D be offended if someone said that to you. You told me once, on a different thread, that I wouldn't CARE when my mom dies because I said that we didn't have a great relationship throughout the years because she is narcissistic. How do you know what I'd feel? I might cry my eyes out in sorrow for the relationship that we never had. You need to always keep in mind if your words could hurt someone else.
3. Maybe you should read your responses to someone at home first before you post them, until you get a better "feel" for what is insulting and what isn't.
4. Maybe you could write a "disclaimer", I don't mean to offend anyone but could it be that........
5. Most of all be positive! Try to give people comfort and hope. Do NOT dwell on the negative aspects of the situation.
Most of us don't want to be around someone when we feel they are attacking us.
I am trying to understand your thinking process and get over the anger I have built against you. Please make yourself "lovable' and no one will have bad feeling toward you.

In case some of you still think I'm insensitive to the pain of others. the police visited the home with a notice to call the medical examiner's office

One of my brothers passed April 12 at 12:34am at the hospital from a heart attack. Mom did not know about his death while she was alive.

Don't expect to ever hear from eye doctors and their staff that she went to for several years.

Ironically police who came to the house when the hospital wanted her body out of there were nicer than Firemen who came along with the EMTs. She did live to 20 years since her retirement but passed before her 85th birthday which is in Aug.

Why I don't too much care for doctors, The NH doctor who "treated"
signed the papers to get paid July 4. Never heard from his staff or he again,and don't expect to. No call, card or condolences.

First of all I'm a man. Second, how dare you think I come in here to make fun at people who have loved ones who are sick and/or dead/dying. I have to live with How dare you Here is the true story of the hell my mom went through. It is long, so if you don't want to read it, that's fine.


My mom went to the hospital Jan 20 of this year on the diagnosis of low blood sugar. While there, the hospital PT thought it would help if she went to skilled nursing for PT. She was released from the hospital Jan 26 going straight to skilled nursing. She did the program, passed and even graduated on Mar 5. Her joy of going home was short lived, because of a claim of C-diff. A side effect of the new medicine she was taking could be diarrhea. While thinking she had C-diff she was treated like a leper. She was released to the hospital from skilled nursing, on April 13,because of their concern about her weight (she lost 62 pounds). She was in the hospital a few more days, but was weak again. She lost almost all the strength training she had done. She went to another skilled nursing near the hospital for PT again. She rightfully felt she had done the work, so she did not do it. Instead of the PT being understanding and working with her,they got irritated with her and released her from the program. In the meantime she still was not eating and shared a room with 2 other women, one who made sure to block the lone bathroom in the room, so you would have to go past her to get to it. Back to the hospital again, She was asked why she was not participating. She said she had done the work. The woman made the comment,that was the old place this was the new one. I made the comment her primary care doctor did not want to be involved with her care, and yes it was getting heated. The woman mentioned she could understand my frustration, but the primary care doctor is not involved with the NH physician. She stated some rule or and other nonsense. So, mom was moved to an upstairs room at the hospital. She was still not eating and was now talking about suicide.

PT came to her room, tried to get her to do PT,which she did very little, She was literally staying in bed all day. He said she could probably go home, but she would still be too weak, so another suggestion to go to skilled nursing for PT. This is the decision I regret and will for the rest of my life

Agreed to PT. Picked out 3 places, 2 5 star, one 3 star near home. 5 star, no opening,3 star space. Went there, still not eating, talking of suicide She went there the beginning of May. Social worker fills out paper asking about family and sex life which was kind of inappropriate but mom said "She had a wonderful man, (which he was) and she did not want another one" Mom stayed there 10 days, back to hospital, back to skilled nursing, final time to go to hospital was June 12, a Sunday

Nurse at NH called 3 am Sun morning said mom had temp of 105 had diarrhea for a few days. Scared as heck, Went to hospital, mom in ICU, with diarrhea due to C-diff. C-diff turned to Sepsis, then Septic Shock. Of course in room,had to wear gown and gloves not to infect others. Visit Sun, Tues of that week. She was moved to another room. Visit Father's Day. Watched "Alaskan Bush People" Mom was funny and cognizant. Monday, woman from NH doctor called to state mom would be better at LTACH. Mom went to LTACH upstairs same hospital. She was moved Mon. Went Tues she would open her eyes, yell and close them. I did not know then, she was near death, since her hands were cold. Wed morning call message from nurse 1am in morning. Returned call, nurse said mom was back at ICU. Mom squeezed the nurses hand, opened her eyes, then closed them. That was it. After 5 days, doctors felt she was gone. There was no time to contact her dear friends or my brother who lives across country in Seattle to say Goodbye. Went to say see her on Jun 29. She was hooked up to all these machines, including one for breathing. Made the heartbreaking decision to disconnect life support, This is very hard, made decision after seeing blood in her fingers and back of her head had turned blue due to lack of oxygen. Hospice had been called a few days before. Hospice doctor came to offer support condolences, Priest came and a really nice spiritual lady as well. All 4 (Hospice doctor had trainee) were nice. I told the nice nurse on duty that it would be too hard to see her be disconnected from life support. She was very nice and offered her condolences as well. I left. they disconnected life support at 5 PM, she passed at 5:07 PM. That's her story

I KNOW what most of you are feeling when you lose someone you love. Mom was a lot of fun to be around and smart as well. Her stories, some were hilarious, some serious, With her gone, things aren't and will never be the same. I miss her everyday.

My mom was just accepted into hospice last week. This will provide her additional services that Medicare will cover 100%. She has been very sick for a few years with Alzheimer's. Receiving the care from hospice will also free up some time for the caregivers at the memory care she is in. In a way it is sad, that medicine is extending lives of those we love. We feel that there is something that will keep them going for just a bit longer. But, I know that this is what my mom would want. She has had a DNR in place for years, she does not want the med or other measures used that would have her live a bit longer. And for her children to decide to do something else would not be respectful of her wishes. I won't even go into my wacky family because everything they have done for years would have appalled my mother.

Z. Go away, everywhere you go you cause turmoil to so many caregivers that are doing the best they possibly can.

Stressed, if xanax is not working have docs try another med. Xanax had the exact opposite effect as intended on my mom. Happens often med reactions cannot be predicted on those with dementia, practicing medicine.

Oh Zytrhr, please just go away with your cruel remarks! People are hurting here, and your not helping! You clearly know Nothing about Hospice or Medicine! Are you out to inflict further pain on top of people who are already suffering from grief and pain of losing their Loved Ones? Because that is exactly what you do, all the time! Please stop and think about what you are writing! Are you a TROLL?

SueC1957, Too Right! This Zytrhr person has been a menace since she/he began posting on this site! I have no idea where she gets her rediculous information, but it Always Wrong, and Always Insensitive! I am inclined to think she is a TROLL, just hanging around to get her Jolly's! I too will make a Complaint to the AC Administration! I've ad it with that poster!