I have posted on here many times and answered questions every now and then. Dad passed away Oct 7th 2013 from Liver Cancer . He was in a hospice facility for 11 days until he died. The day before he was admitted he was in the hospital and was talking,eating and very clear headed but his ammonia levels were high and he had been very combative, not eating and wouldn't take his meds for 4 days at his nursing home. ( He was in for a Psych Evaluation.) The hospice worker talked to me about admitting him instead of returning to the nursing home. I agreed to this and arrangements were made. He was transferred later that day and was alert and in good spirits. The next morning he was unresponsive and stayed that way until he passed. They gave him morphine and ativan around the clock. He never got any water but they did cleanse his mouth and moisten it with swabs. It seemed like he could hear me the first few days because I would shake his shoulder and say "dad". His eyes seemed to be moving under his eyelids and his mouth would move slightly. I did ask about them lowering his dosages so he could wake up a little. The nurse said he was getting a very small dosage already. I just wonder if the drugs made him unresponsive and if less was used he could have ate and drank and lived longer. I know it was time for him to go but I'm kinda puzzled about his going from complete alertness and straight into unresponsiveness so quick. The nurses did a Great job. I myself don't know how they do it. They treated dad like he was their baby. So gentle and compassionate. I was just wondering if anyone else had the feeling that death felt a little rushed once their loved one was placed in Hospice.
Once I learned that when the body starts to shut down, the patient cannot take food because it would be very painful, the same with water.... and some patients aspirate which means the food/water goes into the lungs not the stomach.
People die on the same time table with or without Hospice. With Hospice there is less pain, and I rather be the patient using Hospice.
He way not uncomfortable. I am glad he remained in the care of his doctor and nurses. They gave the best they could within the restrickens Dad himself decided on years ago before dementia took him away. I am comforted to know he had his final days as he wanted them, not as hospice would have decided for him. Maybe the two would have been the same, but after reading the real life experiences here, I could not think it would be better for him to have the decisions taken away from him, his doctor, his family.
Take he case of the caregiver here who had her Dad withdrawn from meds hat were helping him breathe. The decision making taken over in an aggressive manner.
I would not allow hospice to make the choices because I wasn't so sure they would make any decisions that allowed that those meds were in fact part of his quality of life. Granted, keeping them in use would also prolong his life....but that was the side benefit.
The theoretical use of hospice and the real life experience are too often too far apart
I wouldn't wish a painful death on anyone.
Not my mom; not on my watch.
If you think that is what your G-d demands, fine. Mine does not..
Yes, it would be nice for one to die the same way as God brought you into the world, but you yourself weren't brought into the world in extreme pain for weeks on end, that is the main difference.
And IMO the 'slippery slope' argument doesn't hold water here. In fact that argument doesn't doesn't hold water anywhere.
Such is the conundrum that is created by a society that makes assisted dying legal.
I'm going to mention a book that I've recommended once before here. It's called 'Opening Heaven's Door: What the Dying May Be Trying to Tell Us About Where They're Going', by Patricia Pearson. It's excellent.
Speaking of heaven's door, Bob Dylan won the Nobel prize for literature this week. Remember 'knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door'? Love that song.
"Overall, the experience was very peaceful for me and hopefully for my dad too. I have informed my son that hospice is where I want to be when my time to leave this earth nears"
The biggest problem with this thread is the title. People are grieving. They've been through hell, then they see The RUSHED TO DEATH thread. So the nurses are murderers and away we go......
As long as the name of the thread remains the same it will keep erupting with the same old stuff. Like moths to a flame.
Great comments to all the above, BTW......
If you don't want your parents on Hospice, don't use that option! Instead, try to care for them yourselves, at home, and in pain, or worse, struggling to breathe, and agitated! It is sometimes a very scary thing to do, all on your own! The weeks and months leading up to your parent dying, having the care and professionalism from you Hospice worker's, it's priceless! They know what they are doing far more than any lay person!
In our situation with our Mom, and even though we thought we knew what was happening, our Hospice Nurse recognized signs of our Mom entering into the "active dying phase", that we did not, and I'm so glad we had them there to guide us through that last harrowing week of her life, transferring her to the Hospice Hospital was by far the best thing we ever did! Our Mom was more comfortable, and we were all able to be with her as much as we liked, which was always! But there was not the uncomfortable situation of having her dying in my sisters home, especially since she had several small Grandchildren about, and often. It was my sisters decision, and one we all supported! Thank God for Hospice!
Wikipedia has an excellent article on the beginnings of hospice care world wide which dates back many centuries.
Hospices world wide are based on the resources available which in many areas are sadly limited. My own husband saw them at work in Malawi where the supply of pain medications and other supplies are sadly limited and many people die in horrible circumstances often from Aids.
We are very fortunate in the USA with the services available from hospice for the dying. Never does a nurse have to say "Sorry you are in such agony but we have used up all the morphine" Nor does she have to work on horrible wounds etc without gloves or dressings or have bedclothes to cover the patients.
When my husband was leaving Malawi he offered the house cleaner his bedding, she just laughed and shook her head and said "I don't have no bed to put it on"
Stop bashing Hospice people and appreciate what is available to you. It is a privilege not a right. Remember Mother Teresa, she gave her life to helping people and many others have devoted their lives to creating the modern movement. Although supported by Medicare and other Insurance, not for profit hospices have to raise a large portion of their funds from volunteer contributions.
The nurses you accuse of being killers are paid far less than their contemporaries in hospital settings so why would a nurse choose to work with the dying if h/she just wanted to kill people. I assure you it is not for the money
I would add from a non medical person's standpoint that medicine is a very complex field, and that includes the issue of dying. It takes a lot of time and determination to educate oneself.
Hospice also seems to be a scapegoat for a variety of issues, ranging from not accepting the dying process to uncontrolled grief to just plain unwillingness to educate oneself on this aspect of life and the termination of it.
Thanks again for offering a rational and educated opinion.