Did Hospice rush your loved ones death?

I hesitate to comment on this thread again. But it worries me that people coming to the forum for support at a time when they or their loved ones are approaching death will leave it convinced that hospice is nothing more than some kind of licensed execution programme. Their relationship with the professionals they need to rely on will be in tatters before it's even begun; but that relationship is absolutely critical to getting through the death of a loved one with as little trauma as possible.

Three types of drug are commonly in use at the end stages of life.

Morphine is used to relieve severe pain (for example, in cancer), but it is also used to improve the quality of respiration (for example, in heart failure). The way this works can seem counterintuitive to the layman - it certainly did to me - but if you want to understand it, ask. Essentially it eases the breathing mechanism, reducing the heart's workload, and it also improves blood flow. It is NOT given to cause breathing to cease.

Hyoscine represses secretions. The purpose of giving it is to prevent patients' experiencing the terrifying sensation of drowning as their lungs fail. It causes drowsiness. I don't know, I haven't tried either, but I would guess that being too drowsy to talk to your children is probably preferable to nature's equivalent of waterboarding.

Sedatives are given to relieve the patient's anxiety and distress. The dying process can be terrifying; and the key point if that these drugs prevent *the patient* from enduring that terror. Of course it is hard for relatives not to feel that it is their own feelings that are being spared - that their loved ones are being doped to the eyeballs so that we won't have to watch their agony, or keep a prolonged vigil. But if it's hard to watch, just imagine what it's like to go through.

The key word, too, is *prevent*. Why was your loved one given these drugs when they weren't experiencing noticeable symptoms? Because, believe me, you didn't want those symptoms to become noticeable. You can't prevent something once it's already happened.

We tend to prefer natural processes such as birth, growth and death to take place naturally; but Nature is not always our friend. Medicine, from its beginnings, has developed as mankind's way of trying to protect ourselves against Nature's nastier, crueller moments.

Medicine is not perfect, not even close. But it is carried out by people who are doing their best to give their patients the best outcome possible in the circumstances. Some of those people will be better than others, just as some people in any walk of life are better than others. More patient, kinder, gentler, more perceptive, more empathetic, more intelligent, better at communicating... Which, unfortunately, means that some will be less so; and you will have to meet them half way by asking questions, expressing preferences and raising concerns.

If you really feel that one or more people on your hospice team are working to a schedule, or have become so hardened to death they have lost sight of their patients' humanity, or for some other reason are just definitely in the wrong job, then speak up, call another service provider, call your own doctor or your loved one's doctor for advice.

Remind the hospice team, if necessary, that this may be all in a day's work to them, but that for your loved one and your family and you it is a unique time that they need to stay sensitive to. If you have questions, they shouldn't be dismissed. If you want to know why a particular thing is being done, you have a right to ask and a right to expect a clear explanation.

But the best hospice professionals in the world can't prevent death from being a time of loss and grief. Your loved one, who was walking and talking and laughing, will be gone. Their role is to make that passing as peaceful and free of pain and fear as possible for their patient, but they can't save you from losing your loved one. Be fair in what you expect of them.

How old was your Dad EvaMaria? Was the injection they wanted to give him Morphine? What was the disease which they said that he would be dead in 6 months?

I wouldn't leave my father's side & listened to any discussion between the medical staff...those of whom who spoke near me. At one point the doctor came in & told the nurse to give him an injection. I rose & walked over to the doctor & said to her, "You can't do that, his blood pressure is too low, the injection will kill him!" She was so surprised that I said this...that all she could do was give me a shocked look...& then she said, "Oh, I forgot." What type of response is this from a doctor? "Oh, I forgot." After two days & nights of staying by his side, they got me out of the room for a couple of hours...he died during this time.

Yes! Hospice told me that my father had to leave...one way, or another by Thursday. He was alert, talkative, could see, hear, think & talk about philosophical things, feed himself, etc...on Sunday afternoon and by Thursday early morning he was dead. Death certificate read Pneumonia. Hospice continued to give him morphine & Ativan...for the pain, which he didn't have. He always looked ten years young than his true age. The undertaker said that his was the worse body he had ever seen...due to the drugs. Since then, I have heard several cases from friends & their friends about Hospice...all negative.

Hi rambo444, I believe that the same thing happened to my Dad. The night before he died all his vital signs were good and his heart was very strong. Hospice doctor was there and was surprised that he showed good color and his temperature was fine. He acted surprised. Went out to nurse and whispered something to her. I watched them talk and was uncomfortable with what I saw. Mom and I left Dad late that night and by early morning they called us to tell us that Dad had passed. Think that they overdosed him with morphine right after we left. I am so lost with what is going on now medically with my Mom (91) and my husband being sick. Prayers to all on this site.

She kill your mom, The murderers can not see cruelty because they see normal method of ending life. If I Say anything on this blog about hospice or killer nurses it is base on my experience. We should not put our loved ones in hospice care they are silent murderer. I promise to my father that I will take care, protect, defend him from all these murderer.

I am convinced they intentionally gave my mother overdose of morphine and lorazipam.. she had strong heart and vitals signs, just major pain her back and was in kind of a dementia due to the pain. she kept saying i cant i cant, one day a nurse came and asked me for the morphine ,and asked me to leave. the next morning mom was dead !! i believe she overdosed mom on that damn morphine !!

Barb you did absolutely the very best for your Mom and made compassionate choices for her to help relieve the pain. Most drugs can have side effects and narcotics are not exempt but think of the greater good of relieving a loved ones suffering. Condolences for your loss, don't second guess your decisions. Nothing can be changed now and Mom had the relief of being able to die with less pain. Did it shorten her life? It could have done because being in severe pain frequently keeps people from being able to relax and let nature take it's course. Being comfortable allows the body to relax and take the next step.

There a are stages to dying just as there are stages to birth. For some reason we know more about the joyous event of giving birth whereas death remains more of a mystery. I believe some cultures know far more about it than we in the Western world do.

One should not view life in black and white. There are grays. To have a very strong stand against hospice and to call them murderers is a very, very narrow view. To go on and on publicly trying to persuade others that you will be murdering a family member if they go into hospice service is wrong. Not only are you condemning the nurses, but you're also adding more burden to the caregiver who has done their best. Like I said before, I wished we were able to get hospice service for mom who was in pain at the end.

You're right. What goes around comes around. Be very careful with what you wish for.

The drugs gave comfort to Barb's mom who was in pain for years. It's horrible to see someone in constant pain and not be able to help them. Barb, my condolences. Logically, you know you did your best for her. Subconsciously, you feel so guilty for not doing more. Caregiver's Guilt. Most people go through this. I'm glad that your mom found peace from the constant debilitating pain in the end. You did great for her. I agree that you need to speak to someone because of the nightmares. {{hugs}}

We can not deny that hospice medication method cut people's life, with all these opoids medication morphine, lorazepam, haloperidol, bisac-eva, cp prochlorper, cp hyocyam. The murderers can not see cruelty because they see normal method of ending life, but no one can know or predict the time of anyone's life . how can they says their give comfort with all these narcotic. Just remember no body can take anybody's life, what goes around comes around.

I doubt send had the spellcaster guy in mind....Barb, I'm so sorry for your loss.

It sounds as though you did EVERYTHING right; you saw that there was no way around your mom's intractable pain and life-limiting diagnoses. You got her relief.

You could not 'save' her because death is ultimately part of life that we don't control. But you got her help with the pain.

Barb, So sorry your Mom is gone. My condolences to you and your family.

Someone will be along shortly who can help you with the nightmares.
I will be thinking of you.

My mom died a week ago. She had some dementia, but her body had been so debilitated by rheumatoid arthritis that she was a complete cripple in every joint even with multiple replacements over the years. she was at a wonderful assisted living site where they loved her like family. two weeks go, the clots in her leg (ruined vascular system also caused by her disease) and she was in terrible pain, moaning and writhing. She was already on hospice, because of her many problems with clots and all her other problems. the pain was terrible and I had stopped in to give her lunch but instead took her to ER so the pain could be managed quicker. we ended up in a larger hospital, thinking s vascular surgeon could perhaps help. she was, of course, not a candidate, even for amputation. At this point they had started to get her some relief, and she was more herself than in a long time. We had to speak plainly, that there was nothing to be done, and she agreed to place herself in God's hands. She struggled with terrible pain for two days, until hey were able to get ahead of it, and she was discharged with palliative care back to her assisted living. after that, she was pretty out of it, and my siblings, except for one, did not really see what she went through, but they got it, and all were supportive of her meds. we are grateful that she was at least somewhat aware of us all and her friends.

But it is hard, because she is gone. She hadn't been much of my mom for a couple of years, because of the dementia.

I've been mostly OK, because we did the best we could. But now I am having nightmares of her in agony, and when I wake up, she is still dead and I couldn't save her.

We can not deny that hospice medication method cut people's life, with all these opoids medication morphine, lorazepam, haloperidol, bisac-eva, cp prochlorper, cp hyocyam.
The murderers can not see cruelty because they see normal method of ending life, but no one can know or predict the time of anyone's life . how can they says their give comfort with all these narcotic. Just remember no body can take anybody's life, what goes around comes around.

How I describe a Hospice: is a garbage can full of murder, where the doctors throw all these elderly.

My father's primary doctor, send hospice to my house on 02/28/2016. He stated that he have severe dementia, hospice nurse was pushing me to medicate my father with out having pain. I notice the she wants me to kill my father with those medications, my father started having a FOLICULITIS infection the nurse told me that they would not treat that, she said let him die, he is not have quality life. Hospice said to me don't call 911 don't take to the hospital. I took him to the hospital anyway and the doctor drained the DI skin obsess, give antibiotic and my father is recovering. I pray to God for guiding me and I found out the hospice is the trash can. Hospice selected few patient to cover the murders. They call graduated from hospice, that is a lie. If I listen this killer nurse, my father would be dead. I called the insurance to asks if is any cover limit for my father they told me no, I said that I am not satisfied with hospice that I would like to have another opinion. I took him to a doctor on May 11/2016 to help me to discontinue VNA & HOSPICE. My father is home safe. We don' have be silence about the way hospice terminate people's life.

I searched for this topic. And i fully understand. My father had prostate cancer and he was up and down w his health. Could no longer walk but he still could smile, talk, move and taught me how to shave him. Was embarrassed that i had to help clean him, see him naked and put on his condom catheter. My mother could no longer see herpartner of 48 years, like this so, she decided (she is a retired USAF Lt. R.N. and ER Psych R.N.) to admit him into the VA hospice (dad was Ret. USAA Sgt. Maj.). He went into hospice in his wheel chair doing fair, 2 days later he was comotose. I thought that was odd. He had the inflatable bed and they kept him lying down on his back. He could barely speak. I remember being very irate w the nurses when they chsnge his bed from.a comfy inflatable mattress to a stiff hard one. They ignored my rants. He died 2 weeks after mom admitted him. I have death anxiety. Its been 3 years and i can barely sleep at night because i believe hospice placed my dad in that comotose state and dehydrated him to death. I did not go see his body in the morgue because that site would have made me suicidal. I actually wake up gasping for air when im sleep and my throat gets dry thinking...God that's probably how dad felt. Its a struggle. For those whose comments are about blame....calm down...we have a right to post how we feel..without critcism. Keep it cool.

I'm just glad hospice is there if I need them, Veronica. The companies have been friends to many caregivers.

I wrote something on this thread a while back, so it keeps coming up on my newsfeed. There is a lot of guilt that goes with the death of a loved one at times. It is easier for some people to deal with guilt by turning it into blame. We weren't there when the LO was passing, so we don't know things for sure. I just hope the people can find peace.

Jessie Belle you are wasting your breath. "there is none so deaf as those that won't hear"
Everything I post to try and re-assure those contemplating hospice for their loved ones receives answers that I was part of the conspiracy.
You are correct, many people call on hospice at the 11th hour. We had patients die during admission or the same night. I was invited to keep off the thread if I didn't like what I was reading!

BTW, the cooling blanket episode was not hospice. It was a nurse in the hospital.

I come in and out of the hospice threads. I was once a hospice volunteer, so know how things are meant to go. Something I am not understanding is that families call in hospice when their loved one is near death. In the circumstances I know about hospice will be there for a month or more up to a few years. Family members are there the whole time and can see what is being done. They have the option to change any procedure that they are not comfortable with. I'm sure that an occasional angel of death comes in and whacks someone with an overdose. That is criminal and not how hospice works. Hospice can administer of "cocktail" of pain reliever, e.g. morphine, and sedatives when a patient is agitated and in intense pain. Often the drugs are left so family members can administer them if they are needed. In my naivete, coupled with naive experience in training and working with hospice, I wonder how a family could be unaware of what is happening. I've personally never seen a life cut short by hospice using medications, though I have seen it cut short in a hospital using a cooling blanket. The patient had AIDS and had an incurable (at that time) neural infection and severe neuropathy. I wonder to this day if he had asked the hospital to cut his life short. I was very naive at that time about what was going on. Maybe it was good that I was.

freqfler I know there are over 700 answers . But your comment sounded as if you were implying that other then this thread you don't hear about it happening. If that is what you meant possibly people don't know or understand Hospice procedures and as I stated only to find out later when its to late. Or maybe they just feel so upset over it that they don't reach out. Either way the issue needs to be addressed.

Uninformed, there are over 700 answers on this one thread.... people are speaking up.

Christine73, your tale sounds like something that needs to be investigated for criminal charges. Definitely not right, but also not standard practice.

That said, I think it's true that being in a facility is less conducive to any kind if recovery than being home. At home, my mother gets constant attention, she can eat or sleep when she wants during the day. She gets hygiene care as needed throughout the day. She gets kisses all the time and I can give her homeopathic and naturepathic remedies as I ses fit. I am sure that she would have passed ages ago if she had gone to some facility. Hospice or not.

Maybe that's because Hospice portrays to be different and by the time someone figures out what they've done its too late. Their loved one is dead. Its comments like yours that will keep discourage people from speaking up. Bottom line is ITS HAPPENING AND SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE! IT JUST ISN'T RIGHT!

Yes, there will be people who are taken off Hospice and continue to live for more time. Could it be because the patient was on too much medication to begin with? Was the patient seeing dozens of doctors and gets meds from each, thus over-dosing making themselves very sick? Then Hospice comes along and removes all those meds, gives the patient something to make them feel more comfortable, and the patient eventually gets better. Patients do graduate from Hospice.

The only stories I have heard about Hospice taking the life of many people before their time has been on this forum thread, no place else. Of course, we don't have the whole medical story and we are not doctors to analyze each individual patient. All I know, I was so glad my Mom was on Hospice, her heart was giving out because of a serious head trauma, and she stopped eating before Hospice was called in, at least she wasn't in pain during that final journey.

Hospice has taken the life of many people before their time, heard many, many stories. Nurses and Dr's you took a oath to save life not decide when that person is ready to meet God, thats up to God! Morphine should be given to control pain not kill. My friend who i took care of was in hospice twice, each time given only two months to live. They took her heart meds away but i had more and still gave them to her. I prayed, God you take her,if want, but dont let it be at their hands, I've had her so far, for eight more years?

There are so many experiences that prove Hospice does in fact use heavy medication to bring a persons life to an end early. I think its time our government take a better look at their services and investigate if they are Bering properly regulated. If its the person in whom is terminally ill and is coherent then it should be that person who says if they want to be sedated into death. Before hospice steps in they should have the responsibility to have a signed document stating the wishes of that person PRIOR to any administering of such lethal drug. I see no reason why the physician tending to the patient couldn't have on hand the information regarding these types of arrangements. They are the first to know a persons condition and can present those options to the person or family members. I understand their are exceptions and laws governing family members to make that choice if someone is uncommpacitated however I speak and refer to patients that are elder . Patients that are coherent and have time to make that choice. There are a lot people that want to continue being ignorant and argue that hospice is not guilty of such a vile act but as you can see there are more then one case to prove different. Its unethical to keep people in the dark simply because they are in vulnerable state and haven't the strength to stand up for themselves due to their illness. Shame on all you who represent such a company and bring forth a premature death. Someday you'll stand before a judge that will bring YOU to your knees and YOU will recognize that ignorance is not a means for innocence .

*and

Yes. My loved one was home for only four hours.We had barely got the hospital bed set up and the oxygen machine running. He had pulmonary fibrosis, diagnosed two months prior.The nurse had lots of morphine lollipops and told us to keep giving them to him. Pretty sure that shut him down, but I'm not a doctor sand there was no autopsy.