Grandma in a home but not being cared for well enough. they care more about making things easy on themselves that making things easier for grandma - prying her legs open while she is screaming, washing her privates and then her body with one wash cloth, complaining about her being difficult - she has dementia and is bi polar - they are not equipped to care for her in a loving way, they do not make us feel comfortable visiting. i dont think they even take her outside. They have no patience and the people taking care of her have no real nursing experience. i have babies and am very limited on time to spend looking for other options. My other family members are oddly resolved to leave her there. HELP
Let me know if I can help you.
Are there other facilities in the area? Can she be moved to a facility that is specifcally for Alz patients? If you do not have the time, there are elder case managers who will do the foot work for you...but, of course, they charge a fairly steep fee.
If all else fails, and your family will not pitch in (here's hoping they get "first hand" experience with this type of NH), try hiring a paid caregiver who can act as a "family member" and drop in unannounced at various times of the day. She can both monitor and help with her care. Your family should at least be able to chip in for a caregiver. This is no way to spend the last few years of your elderhood.
good luck