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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Lucylou, as a first order of business please disable her car (remove the battery, flatten the tires, siphon out the gas). If you don't know how to do this, engage a neighbor to help in the ruse. But please don't allow her to be a danger to others on the road, as morally that will be your issue since you know she is impaired and are really the only one who can stop her. I understand your hands are very full right now, but please keep her, and everyone else on the roads, safe. Thank you!
Wow! She absolutely needs help. Everything you listed is a serious concern, especially the driving. My word! She could hurt others or herself by being behind the wheel.
I agree that she will have to spend down in order to qualify for care in a facility. So many of the elderly are very frugal. My mom is extremely frugal. They don’t want to let go of their money. I understand that but she needs to be prepared for receiving help. Having too much money puts her out of reach for getting care.
I am not sure how you will get her to eat more. Would she allow grocery delivery? She has pride. She is most likely scared underneath it all, so she is in denial. It’s sad. Or it could be that she is truly unaware of the changes that she is experiencing.
Some areas do have doctors that do home visits. Yes, they cost more but I wonder if it would be worth it if she would at least get started on getting a proper diagnosis of what is going on with her.
I hope others will see this post and have suggestions for you. It’s tough coping with a situation like this.
There are lots of folks with dementia who do not recognize their deficits. They lack insight into the fact that their brains are not functioning the way they used to. There is a medical term for it, anosognosia.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anosognosia
You may simply need to wait her out. She will fall or become seriously ill and need to be hospitalized. When she is there, you talk to the discharge planners about getting her placed.
In the meantime, decide how much you can REASONABLY help. You don't have to give in to her demands. Decide if you will visit once a week or whatever suits you.
If she complains or becomes angry say "Mom, you've made your choices and I've made mine. You can get the help you need in AL. Me, I have to work and take care of my family"
Thank you for your concern. Here goes... she won’t go to Drs.She forgets a lot, she doesn’t want to eat much. She’s on Medicare but we trying to get her on medical because they will pay for assisted living etc. She’s has to much money in the bank to qualify but not enough for long term care if she needs it. We told her she needs to get rid of some of that money.She refuses any help such as driving her to the grocery store, bank etc. She gets mad and says she’s not dead yet. We reported her to the DMV because she got lost driving. She hides her keys. She insists there is nothing wrong.
Can you give more details please. All I can say is some elderly people are very set in their ways. They still feel as if they know best. They are not welcoming of changes in their lives.
Sorry that you are having difficulty with your mom.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I agree that she will have to spend down in order to qualify for care in a facility. So many of the elderly are very frugal. My mom is extremely frugal. They don’t want to let go of their money. I understand that but she needs to be prepared for receiving help. Having too much money puts her out of reach for getting care.
I am not sure how you will get her to eat more. Would she allow grocery delivery? She has pride. She is most likely scared underneath it all, so she is in denial. It’s sad. Or it could be that she is truly unaware of the changes that she is experiencing.
Some areas do have doctors that do home visits. Yes, they cost more but I wonder if it would be worth it if she would at least get started on getting a proper diagnosis of what is going on with her.
I hope others will see this post and have suggestions for you. It’s tough coping with a situation like this.
Best wishes to you.
There are lots of folks with dementia who do not recognize their deficits. They lack insight into the fact that their brains are not functioning the way they used to. There is a medical term for it, anosognosia.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anosognosia
You may simply need to wait her out. She will fall or become seriously ill and need to be hospitalized. When she is there, you talk to the discharge planners about getting her placed.
In the meantime, decide how much you can REASONABLY help. You don't have to give in to her demands. Decide if you will visit once a week or whatever suits you.
If she complains or becomes angry say "Mom, you've made your choices and I've made mine. You can get the help you need in AL. Me, I have to work and take care of my family"
Sorry that you are having difficulty with your mom.