You just have to laugh sometimes.....
Some of my recent favourites are:
"I had a terrible night last night. I had to stay awake .. until I went to sleep" (said several times over, with greater emphasis each time, because of course if you repeat it, then it must make sense.)
"drinking water causes gas, so no water, and no salt, cause salt makes you drink water"
"the toothpaste took all the enamel off my teeth in just 3 days!"
Do you think she wants some of he trick or treat candy?
So I turned to my brother and asked her how old she thought he was?
She said in his 50s - I said guess again
When he today her he was 73 - she said "good god you're almost 3/4 of a century!" 🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀
I suddenly tuned into his mumblings....
Dad,"...mumble, mumble, bank stealing my money... hungry... hey!.. hungry.... hey!..."
In frustration, he said loudly, "I want to go home!...aye yai yai! I AM home!"
It used to drive me bonkers when my mom would talk nonstop
Since she is hard of hearing she would often sit in one room and call out my name but couldn't hear when I would reply - what?
So I would have to stop what I was doing and go see what she wanted with her usually saying - I just wanted to know where you were 🙄
Last year around this time we took our last road trip from so cal to Vegas -
5 hours or more depending on traffic and rest stops
Whether she was excited to get out of the house or prescient that this would be her last trip (she had a bad fall 2 weeks later) she yacked the whole way there - finally noting - gee I talk a lot - I'm good company - aren't I?
A brief pause. Then he stated firmly, "I'm not going to school tomorrow."
I said, "Okay."
Dad said to the nurse, "I'm hungry and she's not giving me food."
Nurse response, "You're not being fed?"
Dad totally said yes to that question.
During that conversation, the nurse had raised her eyebrows and was looking at the food dad was holding.
Mom has a little trouble chewing meat and pulls out a piece of the shredded beef and says look - there's a worm in my taco 🐛🌮
My final words, "Remember, I'm going to shower."
Dad got this mischievous look and replied, "Do you want me to scrub your back?"
I was grossed out and said, "Eeww!"
He started laughing....
My 73 year old brother doesn't mind my 93 year old mom either - she still says he drives her crazy
Afterwards, he said firmly, "Those candies are no good for you."
Puzzling over that comment, I realized what he was up to.
I asked, "Why is it no good for me?"
As he was thinking it over, I exclaimed, "You just want the whole candy for yourself!!"
He started laughing.
So, today I was visiting my folks and I went down to do some laundry. I could not stay long enough for the dryer to finish so I told Mom I was going to dry the clothes on hangers upstairs. I was worried she would try and go down to get them after I left. Mom said with a scowl "Oh I'm not allowed to do THAT anymore, I'll get 60 lashes if I do!" I started to laugh and then Mom cracked up too. it was a nice moment.
My ex-husband's mother lived with us until he moved on to "greener pastures" with another woman, forcing her to move in with her other children. She was in her 70's, diabetic and had poor balance, but darn if she wasn't forever getting up on chairs to put something on the wall or put something away in a cabinet. She was spry, but she scared the heck out of me.
Husband and I look around but see nothing amiss. "What thing?"
"That thing. That black thing there."
Husband: "You mean the dog?"
"I don't know what the heck that is, but it's not a dog."
"Don't you remember Cate? Cate's a dog."
"That's not a dog."
"She is a dog. She's a poodle."
"Poodle?" He looked like he was starting to get it.
"You remember Cate, right?"
"I remember Cate. But what the heck is that?"
He'd just awakened from a sleep, so this was unusually bad for him. An hour later, he was giving Cate pets, but Lord knows what he thought he was petting.