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Ashlynne, I've always enjoyed your posts, especially about your life in the country, your garden, your animals, and the way that they help soothe your soul as you recover from the trauma of your mother's attitude.

I wish I could understand what happened here that made you decide to leave, and I wish you would reconsider. I hope I haven't unwittingly made you feel uncomfortable or contributed to your decision to leave.

You've made valuable contributions to this thread. Your experience is very helpful and valuable, as well as diversified.

You've demonstrated how to put trauma behind you and move ahead. And, honestly, I've admired your life - you seem to have so much freedom now, and I thought it was a healing freedom.

Please, please, reconsider leaving.
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Deleted my account. I won't be back.
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Turning the page on this great thread.
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Glad, I especially like the weed, Oxalis, with the tiny yellow flowers, and green leaves that look like four leaf clover. I think they are invasive, but if they spread by themselves, I am liking that.
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Apologizing to GardenArtist for bringing strife to such a beautiful thread.

detaching with love and concern, Ashlynne.
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"Caregivers and chickens can get stupid maybe after being cooped up?". That's not calling me stupid? Not funny.

Neither me or my chickens are "cooped up". My abuser died last fall. With a 4x4 I can go wherever I want whenever I want. So hot today my chickens have a fan on them. None of us i "cooped up".

Country life is not idyllic, it's hard work,. blood, sweat and tears but I wouldn't have it any other way. In my view and experience, get rid of your monsters in any way you can and get a life before the stress kills you.

I'm out of here ... it';s so depressing.
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I reread Send's posts a few times but didn't see anything nasty in what she wrote. I don't really think it's in her nature - unless she's responding to a troll, and then being nasty is justified.
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Ash I also didn;t think Send was being nasty... it's just that sort of a day! I thought she was making a joke.
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Jump to the wrong conclusions? I was cooped up. I was too stupid to realize that I needed to get out of the house.
It was you, Ashlynne, who mentioned maybe your chickens were too stupid to get outside into the run. I was the one identifying with your chickens being cooped up, and it was me who needed to get out of the house today.
I am well aware that you have a great life, by good choices that you have made after your narcissistic mother died. You are to be an example that there is a good life after caregiving.
How did I write in such a way as anyone would misinterpret what I meant?
Very sorry to you, Ashlynne, that what I wrote was so misunderstood.

How can I make this right?

Time for a break when I must start explaining myself.
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Sendme, Excuse me? Are tyu getting dementia? Why are you being nasty? I love my life, Cruella de Villa died months ago and with a 4x4 I can go out whenever I please. Hot today and I have a fan going on the chickens plus they have an open air run. Wanna call me stupid? Why?

When Cruella died, after a lifetime of abuse I vowed I'd never tolerate abuse again,from anyone.
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Capt I'll take some of that mead!!
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Ashlynne-Caregivers and chickens can get stupid maybe after being cooped up?
Reminds me that it is imperative to get out of the house today! Your new life sounds wonderful-there is life after caregiving!
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Sendme I won't grow celery either. I buy a couple of stalks when it's in season and cheap, chop it small and freeze ready to pop in spaghetti sauce or stew. I do the same with peppers.
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Speaking of chickens, mine have been in their coop for a week now and, on the advice of an old timer neihbour, this morning I opened the door to their run. I expected them to come out and enjoy, but nope. Oh well, at least I won't have to chase them back in at bed time. Can't decide if they're stoopid or just plain spoiled lol.
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Re-focusing here, my new avatar is a picture of the bouganvillia planted late last year, appeared dead early spring, and is now blooming! Despite all my lack of gardening skills!
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Celery sucks, and I am never going to grow it in and amongst my xeriscaped rocks. Forced rock therapy-I am calling it. At least I will have some little pebbles to throw at management if they dont approve of my landscaping! Grrr! This is really causing me grief over a long time. Am I having a breakdown?
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Yes, GA, I confess that I also used the word "We" when discussing a 'shared psychotic disorder' as a joke, between you and between I.

My answer to your politician joke was in agreement with you, but was deleted.

Out of respect and admiration for others caregiving in a difficult situation, for whom the use of the words "we" and "us" causes that person distress, I will try harder not to refer to anyone as we. So sorry, sincerely, Jessebelle.
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Hmm....maybe all those rubber chicken dinners caused Trump and Cruz to develop a joint psychotic disorder? Never know what horrible things some of those mass chicken farms stuff down those poor chickens.
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Well, I thought the term "joint psychotic disorder" referred only to the two of us and our experiences with celery. I thought it was amusing, but I confess that I still associate psychosis with certain public figures. The thought of having any symptoms similar to those of that less than stellar group of public figures is pretty upsetting. I certainly wouldn't want to be compared to any of the clowns who were jousting with barbed tongues in the political arena.
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I apologize to those caregivers who are offended by the use of the words 'we' and 'us.'. Sometimes I am just thoughtless and forget there is not a lot I can say to describe 'my husband and I'. It would make me even more sensitive to have hurt anyone on here, or to be a 'trigger' for their pain relating to narcissistic mothers.
I understand, because I too had a narc mom. It makes me want to avoid anyone for whom I would have to walk on eggshells around.
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Pam, are you referring to a new home or a new job site?
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Here is an idea. No one has ever mentioned this as a possibility. Shade cloth, used as a ground cover. We could not dig up all the dead grass and weeds. Tacking down shade cloth with plastic stakes, (doubled fabric) over the grass or bare dirt-add rocks, gravel, or bark to decorate.
I know this will last. Benefits: The ground squirrels or gophers do not lift it or eat through it. The water drains through it easily. It is cooler than heavy black plastic or black weed-block. It comes in colors-grey for river rock or pebbles; beige for beige California-gold rocks; Burnt umber/brick red for crushed volcanic rocks; and, green, if you want to just have a small space over dirt uncovered-to keep it mud free, drains water, still it looks green, but not exactly like grass. So there are the possibilities. I paid $30 for a huge roll-this sunshade product is strong and lasts! I am using leftover strips down the middle of the driveway under some decorative rocks. It saves on the amount of rocks required to cover the space because they do not sink into the dirt. Another benefit, is if you match the shadecloth fabric to your rocks-and they are very thinly covering the shadecloth-then if the rocks move to slightly show the shadecloth-it still looks okay until you sweep the rocks back over it. Everxwalk by a lanscape and that ugly black fabric is popping up? This solves that. Really saves money overall, and saves your back.
Not selling or promoting the stuff, just sharing.
I really hate the landscape (or xeriscape) filled with rocks, but had no choices left in the California drought. To think two years ago, and two former managers ago-we were not allowed rocks as decoration. Re-landscaping has ruined my budget!
But, I am happy we could do this as a solution.
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Aw, Lucy Goosey! Welcome little goose.
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Cap, you'll love the lever tool. I've had mine a long long time.
Ladies: This is our first Spring in our new location. We have hundreds of lilacs here, daylilies, phlox, honeysuckles. Very aromatic here, like sitting next to an old lady doused in perfume at church. Many plants here that I can't even identify, but I'm learning one at a time. I also have a baby goose, now about 3 weeks old and growing fast, named "Lucy Goosey"
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i ordered something pretty cool this weekend . a lever style wine corking tool from
portugal . ordered 300 new corks too . im not very particular with my own hooch . a used cork smacked in place with a hunk of 2 x 4 is fine with me but doc , out at the farm , wants to make and bottle some mead this year if the bees produce well .
both items were absurdly cheap on ebay and if i use them at the farm much you can bet your ass ill write em off my taxes .
i once wrote off a package of beard berets FFS . business image -- advertising ..
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GA dig some of that phlox if you can. It will come back every year.

There don't seem to be eco friendly places around here. Local towns/cities are all "dig out the dandelions, spray poison on the weeds" and so on ... ugh! Of course the local farmers spray poison on the crops. Last year the field across the road had carrots and the farmer said to me "help yourself". I saw them spraying what the tanker said was water but we had a wet summer ... no thanks.

Personally I feel the poisons sprayed on our food is what is making people so ill. Growing up in the UK things like Alzheimers, dementia and even cancer were virtually unheard of and there wasn't so much processed food.

My late mother was a vegetarian for years, living on "fresh" (sprayed to death with poison) or pre-made, boxed stuff you only had to microwave. She had parkinsons (no history of that in the family) and had dementia for years - backing her car out over the lawn, close miss car accidents, trying to cook something on the stove in a pyrex bowl (which of course exploded) taking a knife to dig out a music cassette she'd put in the wrong way while it was plugged in.

She was mean, nasty and spiteful life long but I think her exposure to the poison in/on our food caused the health issues and is causing so much illness now. Just my theory.
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Just wondering....does anyone know someone living in one of the eco-friendly communities, where composting is mandatory, people love gardens and diversity, respect bees and pollinators, and find creative uses for weeds and volunteers (except Virginia Creeper which has been an unwelcome volunteer for the last few years)?
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Ash, I was treated last year to a nice crop of wild phlox as well as some other volunteers which I couldn't identify. I had something once which I think was Bouncing Betty. The most exciting volunteer though was a delicate, lovely Wakerobin, which the local rabbits found quite tasty once it set seeds.

Just north of the rehab facility where Dad's at now is a small field of wild phlox in pastel colors - it's so dainty and lovely. I love the blend of pastels.
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