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Today I gave Mom a little bit of ice cream and she took a good drink of water. She swallowed it all. That's the most I've seen her do in a few days. It's amazing how we can celebrate such little successes. I am at maximum stress.
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John
So sorry to hear that.
You hang in there.
We will continue praying whatever the Lord wills.
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My Mom seems to be unable to swallow at this point. She was dehydrated so they are now giving her fluids through IV for the past 2 days. Today her systolic blood pressure was 81. She seems to be just fading away. I am requesting a hospice evaluation. I don't know how long that will take because of the holiday. I just know some action has to be taken.
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Praying for you and your Mom.
Try and share love in the time left.
Find strength in the Lord.
Hug
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My Mom is in rehab and hasn't eaten very much in the past 3 days. She just wants to sleep. She didn't eat at all today or take her medicine. Today the nurses agreed that she is shutting down. I have a care meeting tomorrow. I am hoping that Mom can come home for hospice care.
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Big Hug
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John: Remember this, too, shall pass. May God bless you.
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Oh boy are you right. I feel guilty for these feelings I have but yet I wouldn't do anything else. People always tell me put her in a home. First of all, I can't, I wouldn't be able to live with myself, secondly we can't afford it. But it has taken every bit of strength I have to work full time and take care of her the time I am off work. Like a never ending cycle that seems like it will never end. My family thinks that since I work all day that is my time away but I am working....I'm not shopping for clothes or having lunch with friends, I'm working!! Both my sisters are retired - something just doesn't seem right here. One sister lives out of state (good excuse) the other sister comes over three days a week and watches her and we have care givers on the other two days. Then its me on the weekends. Usually my one sister will come over one of the days on the weekend but it is only if she doesn't have something to take care of at her house. Well, I have grandchildren I would like to visit on the weekends, too. Its like pulling teeth to get extra help on the weekend. I have lived with her since my husband died of cancer four years ago. I am ready to be on my own but I can't leave my mom like this. So I am stuck. Which really bothers me because I don't want to remember my mom this way. She is a sweet wonderful lady who deserves better especially from her daughters. Lord give me strength! Thank you for listening.
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I really miss my old Mom. Any difficulty I was going through I could talk with her and she would make me feel like everything was going to be okay. Now I call her from my heart. It's a rough time. I had to cry today.
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Hang in there John, praying for you.
You are an inspiration to us all, the way you have showed love and dedication to your Mom.
Thank you for being such a loving example.
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It's an emotional roller coaster. Mom is in rehab following her 3rd stroke. She has shown signs of progress. Today she was talking better and she ate and drank good at lunch. Then later she did something that I can't say here, but it set me back. I really don't know what to think about life any more. I would never want to live like Mom is living.
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I hope the best possible for you with the outcome. You should find comfort with the fact you have both travelled this ride together and did not succumb to negativity which is certainly understood in so many situations. You seem to be devoted. I think alot here wish for that but circumstances make it hard to achieve. I admire your efforts.
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I am very sad and depressed today, if that is allowed. I am hoping for a good outcome for mom at rehab this week, but I have to keep my expectations realistic. After 2 decades of taking care of her I don't know if she has much left. I have decided that I will get a hospital bed for at home if I can get one ordered by either the facility or by her doctor. It will make it easier for her to sit up and eat. I often wonder when it is going to be my time to live. I have dedicated so many years of my life to mom I know there will be a big empty space when she is gone.
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Keep it simple with asking a family member to come over just for a few hours a week. It may be a commitment for them to pin themselves down and visit but if you ask in a smaller fashion, that may help. Anytime someone brings us a dinner, it is greatly appreciated by me.
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Can totally relate to your happiness about going to the store. It is my alone time and people watching at the store reminds me there are other topics in life. Glad I am not crazy about being delirious to run an errand.
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John,

These are the times when one can do nothing else but putting our loved one and our worry in God’s hands, which are truly the best hands to hold our life, present and future. Trust Him John! trust that He will provide exactly what you and your mom need.
May You find peace and comfort despite the trouble you are facing!

And Smeshque is absolutely right, you are a good son!
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Best wishes for you and your Mom. Maybe things are looking better. Praying for you.
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My mom was transferred to rehab today. Her insurance co. approved an initial 5 days. They are going to try to get her to eat and get more mobility. She didn't eat lunch at the hospital. When she got settled into her room they brought her some dinner. I fed her. She ate better than I've seen in a while. She is on pureed food and honey-thick liquids. I don't know what it was, green vegetable and brown meat, but she ate more than she usually does. She weighed in at 114. She was 135 a year ago. They are going to have her up every day. They don't want her to lay in bed. Should be interesting. She is not used to being up.
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Johnk- Hallelujah!! God is amazing! So happy you have some joy!!
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On Monday Mom seemed to be in almost a catatonic state. She stared into the room, couldn't hear, couldn't speak except she tried and only some unintelligible sounds came out. She couldn't swallow so they were feeding her through IV. It was very upsetting for me to see her like that. I believed she was finished. I was very wrong. When I went to see her today she was sleeping so I sat and waited. They woke her up and she was talking and even read some things off the white board. After a while I fed her some pudding and she had some thickened cranberry juice. I was in shock. I would never have believed such a recovery was possible. We talked for a while. She seemed to hear better than before the stroke. Later the occupational therapist came in. Mom was able to sit up and stand up and take 3 steps forward and then back to the bed and lay back down. I am just awestruck. I have an amazing Mom. I expect to eventually have her back home so she can bug me some more and I'll love it.
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John: Praying for you.
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I have so much trouble with not trying to get Mom to learn things, basically to remember the things she needs to do. I know I shouldn't say "I just told you that" or "don't you remember?" I just have way too much trouble not going there. I really have to work on it, it's foolish to think she can remember or do what she is supposed to just because she is supposed to. Back to the books and youtube videos, I think. Thanks for the reminder, and the touching response. All of our stories and situations are different, but we really are all in this together.
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Tomorrow they will have the results of the MRI and other testing and therapists evaluations. Technically, her life is over. There is no coming back from this. I spoke to her 103 year-old brother this evening. He even said that it would be better if she passed away. It is true. She will never have any even semi-normal functions again, but they will try to make as much money from her as they can in the meantime. I know I have done all anyone could ever do. Hospital staff are dumbfounded that I could take care of her by myself for that long.
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I am sorry that you have had to give up so much. That you were put in an unfair position.

I pray that God gives you back everything that you had to give up and I pray that He makes it up to you. He is a JUST God in the name of Jesus. Amen
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Sorry this happened. I hope you are able to rest & recuperate so you're clear headed to speak to all the professionals tomorrow. You've kept your mom well & safe for so long, it's something to admire.
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So sorry John. I will definitely be praying for you and your Mom. That is rough. You are a good son.
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Mom has been getting more frail and weak in the past few weeks; harder to get up to go to the bathroom and sleeping longer. She has also been harder to communicate with. This morning when she woke up her speech was totally deteriorated and she had a droop on 1 side of her face. I called an ambulance and got her to the ER. She had a stroke overnight. She is in the hospital now in really bad shape. She had a stroke in April 2014 and a massive stroke in July 2014. The April stroke didn't have a huge effect except she was easily fatigued. In July 2014 she had brain damage. This is when she no longer knew I was her son and she didn't even know she was in her own house. Tomorrow they are going to run tests and have therapist evaluations. I just have to wait and see how she does. It doesn't look good.
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Burnt out, trapped, no help from family, angry and siblings, no life, 28 years is too much for anyone, but family figures I was disabled I had plenty of time to take care of folks while they have a life, something I never had a chance at
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You deserve sainthood. I thought my day with my mother was difficult. I can't imagine how you have survived. I hope you have a life back one day as this quality of hers feels to have reached a doomed state.
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There is only one immediate answer, stop for a moment, breathe, -really breathe-. Go to your room or anywhere you can be by yourself, in peace for a while. Calm down, and disconnect from your obligations. Even if for half hour, but you need that. And I would suggest that you do this everyday, at least three times a day. That will be like oxygen for you to prevent you from getting to this situations where your physical health is at danger, remember that blood pressure is a silent tremendous danger.
I don’t want to get into the can you place your parents in an outside care facility, look for help, hire someone, etc, etc. I think you need to focus on your immediate situation. Once you’re more calmed, feeling better physically, feeling lighter emotionally, you won’t feel like you are ready to crash. You will see!
Sending positive thoughts and good energy your way!
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