Hi AC Forum,
I feel like I run the gamut of emotions on a weekly basis. I think that is a difficult side of this caregiving. Not being able to fully satisfy - or not being able to satisfy for what should be a normnal period of time. And on the same token know that each day you go down this path you just running to the finish line.
It's the craziest and horrible life as I am not able to live my life, yet I have a hard time thinking of my mom living with less. Also not being the face of which she says to at first seeing her and asking her how she is, "Better now that I see you!" Knowing that you are the comfort in their sight. Yet what it takes from one feels enormous - emotionally, monetarily, physically.
How are you doing?
LastOne
I’m so sorry for your situation , God bless you . It’s important for you to have some alone time. You should not feel guilty at all. I’m a 24/7 care giver to my husband that had multiple strokes and now has advanced Dementia. That illness steals away their very soles. He’s completely gone. I have to do absolutely everything for him , he’s in pull ups, I have to change him 3/4 times during the night . All the bathing, grooming , dressing. I have to help him up and down most of the time. I’ve done it alone for 5 yrs now. I’m glad you have care givers that’s wonderful. At times a sit and cry and cry, stay awake at night feeling so sad that he’s no longer has a mind . It’s so hard to cope when a loved one becomes ill . You have done wonderful taking care of your mother. You should never feel guilty , guilt will only start destroying you. Go out do something for your self . You can’t give up your happiness you need to take care of yourself also. God Bless you both prayers to you and your mom. God is good , he’s always just a prayer away. I don’t know how I could cope right now with out God help. Take care. 🙏🙏🌺🌷🌹
niece at age ten and now she is helping me care for my mother for about 11 years. What a gift. I am so grateful. I took care of my mother alone for 8 years and eleven years ago I needed more help. My brother moved in with us to help out and he has been living with us since. The point I am trying to make is trust in God, he will find ways to help you. I have received many blessing since I started taking care of my mother, too numerous to write. I receive a check monthly which helps with the high house taxes. My brother hired a very nice young man to cut our lawn and also plow in the winter. These gifts are from our Lord and I am truly thankful. I am not trying to offend any of you, I give you lots of credit for caring for your loved ones. You are all good people, otherwise you would not worry about anything or care about your family. I read how some had very traumatic lives as a child but still helped out their parents. That says so much about a person. Some people can't do it and that is ok at least they gave it a shot. I hope I was able to help one person on this post today. Try to set a little time for yourself each day for some respite. I get up very early to have an hour to myself and I claim it. Everyone knows this is my time, be firm. My prayers are with all of you wonderful caregivers and I wish all of you many blessing along this difficult journey. Peace! I just realized this question was Sept. 2015 but I am going to keep it , someone might read it.
please reconsider meds, I think it is the only thing that has kept me from going off a cliff
Thank goodness I can come to this website for insight & perspective without judgment.
Sigh.
When he asked me to make a donation, sometimes I do...but I have now taken to writing remove my name from your list if it comes to the house, and I write return to sender/refused on the envelopes I intercept at the PO. It's just got to stop. I am very worried that if we lose dad and need to get help in to watch mom while I work until I can retire, that we will need all the money we can have. My mom was also constantly sending coupons in for magazine subscriptions. I begged the clearinghouses to please stop. It seems to be less now.