Hi AC Forum,
I feel like I run the gamut of emotions on a weekly basis. I think that is a difficult side of this caregiving. Not being able to fully satisfy - or not being able to satisfy for what should be a normnal period of time. And on the same token know that each day you go down this path you just running to the finish line.
It's the craziest and horrible life as I am not able to live my life, yet I have a hard time thinking of my mom living with less. Also not being the face of which she says to at first seeing her and asking her how she is, "Better now that I see you!" Knowing that you are the comfort in their sight. Yet what it takes from one feels enormous - emotionally, monetarily, physically.
How are you doing?
LastOne
You need to tell that sorry brother of yours you need a break, and that if you keep this up you're going to have a nervous break down. God bless you sister! Like you, I can't stay gone too long from my mom. I RARELY go out at night but the one night I did go out to a Mexican restaurant with a friend, somehow my brother (who lives in another city) found I was there and told me to go home quickly, my mom was worried to death, crying. I had told her days prior, the morning of and even from the restaurant. We have got to take some time to ourselves or we'll crack!
I am so very sorry for your loss. You have been a wonderful son. If most men could be like you, what a wonderful world we would live in. You showed the utmost love for your Mom, and God is fully aware of your labor of love. I hope and pray that you find comfort in that you endured through one of the most difficult things in life. I pray that the Lord comforts your heart through your grief process. And I hope that you will be able to carry on as your Mom would want you to, especially after all that you have done for her.
Please don't be a stranger, we care about you and want to make sure how you doing.
Allow yourself to feel and lean on the Lord.
I will keep you in my prayers,
I think your mom’s most meaningful accomplishment was to raise a good man. And I truly believe those who are good to their parents, are good in everything they do, and successful. Hope you’re able to re-start your life now with your heart filled with peace John. God bless you!
It's very frustrating to see our LOs do so very little to better their health, back when they could. Taking meds and sitting in front of the TV is not going to give you a healthy life, unless you're VERY lucky.
"I am not able to live my life" in your OP isn't my outlook because I do live my life, although much of it has to do with Spouse. Calculation of time means that of 24 hours, 3 are spent in full interaction with him. About 2 are spent in housework that benefits us both, such as cooking. This is on days without dr. appts., where the percentage of us completely together is greater. It helps to logic one's way through this part of life, ha! I really like your phrase "you are the comfort in their sight."
My life contains things his does not, such as ability to get around without a scooter, lack of multiple dr. appts. monthly, lack of relying on smoking for pleasure, and I'm grateful for these aspects of existence. It's a heavy responsibility being a caregiver that I gave happily to my children and more grudgingly to Spouse. I enjoy daily numerous things that make me feel silly, and happy, and silly, thank God.
Unless there's an actual emergency, you shouldn't have to miss things like your granddaughter's 2nd birthday party.
Seems like the "that's so wonderful you can do that for your LO" is followed by something like "I could never do that!".
I hope you could up your time away from not to be ONLY for one wicked long day of work.
I guess I am one of the lucky ones - my mom currently spends a few days a month at my sister's house.
I hope that when it's disease related, it can make it somehow "easier" (NOT easy) to deal with since the LO isn't really responsible.
Hoping you get more good day and have those help you make it through the tougher ones.
Nice that you could take care of her while on hospice. No one really "wants" to be in a NH, do they? I think that no matter how good a place is on paper, it is still an institution and there's only so much they can do. To provide the kind of care a person can get at home? Could you imagine how many people that would take? And we think NHs are expensive now?? It's just crazy.
I like your optimistic streak in finding the joy in the little things. Good reminder!
Agree, this forum is very helpful.
And you lived your love for her and she felt it in her heart all up to the last breath she took! I hope that fills your heart with peace and eases your pain a little.
A hug sent your way!