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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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I feel for you. I am also in your pisition. My husband has vascular dementia and he was so depressed. However, now in his later stage he does not have the presence of mind to be depressef as he is less aware of circumstances around him in general. I am stressed as the future is bleak and I am planning to move into MC within a hybrid facility. I wish you the best.
My husband suffered a massive stroke 11 years ago at the young age of 53. It left him bed-bound, unable to walk, talk (conversationally), in diapers, and on a thickened liquid diet. Although he spends his entire days watching TV, he can not operate the remote control; it is something I have to do for him. Since the beginning, he has cried out for "help", sometimes repeating it like a mantra for hours. It is so frustrating! He is unable to express what exactly he wants, so I go through all the ways I can make him more comfortable; change what's on tv, re-position him, or move him from recliner to bed, get him a drink, get a new diaper. Nothing seems to satisfy him. I have learned that when he is particularly agitated, it is usually because he needs to have a bowel movement. And, since he has no control, it is a very stressful experience for him. Once he has finished, and I get him cleaned up, he is very tired and comfortable and content.
Many years ago, when he was still in a nursing home, there was a female patient who constantly yelled, "help me!". It was so unnerving. The staff seemed able to ignore it. I have since learned that it is common for dementia patients.
Medication for anxiety can help. Just be careful about drugs that are habit-forming, as over long term, they can create more anxiety and agitation, as the person develops a dependency.
What I found to be incredibly important is consistent routine. I always say: Routine is Key. Anything over stimulating or out of the ordinary can throw the person with dementia into a tizzy. Keep their days simple, and the same every day. If they are up to it, you can give them small tasks to ease their boredom and let them feel useful. Make sure the tasks are easy and it won't matter if it's not done well. I bought children's games to play with my husband. We also played simple card games - War. He couldn't hold a hand of cards, so we played war. If you're not familiar, you simply divide the deck of cards between the two players, who each have a stack of cards face down in front of them. Each player turns over their top card, face up, and the winner is the one with the highest value card. The winner takes both cards. This continues. In the event of a tie, then you take 3 more cards from your stack, turning over the last one, and that person then wins all of the cards. This continues until someone eventually gets all the cards. Easy. One of the children's games we played was called Perfection. There are a bunch of plastic pieces of all different shapes, and they fit into cut-out openings on the board. It helps with dexterity and thinking. For added pressure, there is a timer you set for (1 minute?) that makes the whole board pop up when time is up. That can be a little startling for us older folks, heart-attack inducing I call it.
Another way to combat boredom and give him a little treat is to give m&m's spread out on a tray or napkin or plate. My husband has dexterity problems, so it gives him a little exercise, getting his treat. They are soft and melt in your mouth, so even with dysphagia, he is able to eat them without trouble.
Sometimes he points to his head and cries. He is indicating that he feels like his brain is not working, and it is frustrating and scary and sad. Most of the time, though, he is fairly content just watching tv and being served protein drinks and snacks. He knows I love him and he knows I will keep him safe. And for now, that's the best we can get.
My husband and I play music in assisted living and nursing homes, often for residents with dementia. One place offered a program for family members and the public where you sign up and participate in a simulation of dementia. We took part in the program -- you put in shoe inserts that simulate neuropathy, over sized gloves to simulate difficulties in everyday tasks, and headphones with an audio tape the simulated difficulties in hearing. Even though we knew it was just a half hour program, it was nerve shattering. The headphones had discussions where we couldn't really hear what they were saying, sometimes loud noises like doors banging that were startling, etc. I was surprised at my reactions, it was really difficult to not burst into tears from the stress. And I knew it was just a simulation. If you have a chance to participate in that kind of thing, it would help to understand, even if just a little. The thing that stood out to me was, often these folks need reassurance and to feel safe, so for your husband, maybe just reassure him that he's safe and things are okay, even if you have to say it often. I think there are dementia forums on the internet, and perhaps others can help you more. I know it's so difficult, I will be praying for you.
When my elderly Aunt was in the moderate stage of her dementia (not ALZ) she started saying and yelling "Help!" a lot. We're not sure why. Nothing we ever did seemed to answer her need for the unspecified help she appeared to want. It was a phase that passed.
Living in the Labyrinth: A Personal Journey Through the Maze of Alzheimer's by Diana Friel McGowin (Author)
https://a.co/d/0iikfqGv
Living In The Labyrinth is the story of how one woman found the strength and the courage to cope with a devastating disease that has afflicted five million Americans. Far from being an exercise in self-pity or a standard autobiography, this is an unflinching and ultimately uplifting look at a debilitating illness from the inside out.
“Somewhere there is that ever-present reminder list of what I am supposed to do today. But I cannot find it. I attempt to do the laundry and find myself outside, in my backyard, holding soiled clothes. How did I get here? How do I get back?”
Only forty-five when she first began to struggle with the memory lapses and disorientation that signal the onset of Alzheimer’s, Diana Friel McGowin has written a courageous, stirring insider’s story of the disease that is now the fourth leading killer of American adults.
Diana’s personal journey through days of darkness and light, fear and hope gives us new insight into a devastating illness and the plight of its victims, complete with a list of early warning signs, medical background, and resources for further information. But Diana’s story goes far beyond a recounting of a terrifying disease. It portrays a marriage struggling to survive, a family hurt beyond words, and a woman whose humor and intelligence triumph over setbacks and loss to show us the best of what being human is.
“A stunner of a book . . . it takes the reader on a terrifying but enlightening journey.”—San Antonio News Express
“Touching and sometimes angry . . . a poignant insider’s view.”—The Cincinnati Enquirer
I don't think any of us can fully comprehend truly how folks with dementia feel. I know several years ago when one of the gentlemen in my caregivers support group had the opportunity to do a virtual experience that was to show what folks with dementia were going through. I remember him commenting on how eye opening it was and frightening all the same. But it did give him a better understanding what his wife was going through who had Alzheimer's for 21 years. You may want to talk to your husband doctor about putting him on some kind of an anti-depressent, so he can better tolerate what's going on in his broken brain. And just be there for him best you can. I wish you well as you travel this very difficult road with your husband.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Since the beginning, he has cried out for "help", sometimes repeating it like a mantra for hours. It is so frustrating! He is unable to express what exactly he wants, so I go through all the ways I can make him more comfortable; change what's on tv, re-position him, or move him from recliner to bed, get him a drink, get a new diaper. Nothing seems to satisfy him.
I have learned that when he is particularly agitated, it is usually because he needs to have a bowel movement. And, since he has no control, it is a very stressful experience for him. Once he has finished, and I get him cleaned up, he is very tired and comfortable and content.
Many years ago, when he was still in a nursing home, there was a female patient who constantly yelled, "help me!". It was so unnerving. The staff seemed able to ignore it. I have since learned that it is common for dementia patients.
Medication for anxiety can help. Just be careful about drugs that are habit-forming, as over long term, they can create more anxiety and agitation, as the person develops a dependency.
What I found to be incredibly important is consistent routine. I always say: Routine is Key. Anything over stimulating or out of the ordinary can throw the person with dementia into a tizzy. Keep their days simple, and the same every day. If they are up to it, you can give them small tasks to ease their boredom and let them feel useful. Make sure the tasks are easy and it won't matter if it's not done well. I bought children's games to play with my husband. We also played simple card games - War. He couldn't hold a hand of cards, so we played war. If you're not familiar, you simply divide the deck of cards between the two players, who each have a stack of cards face down in front of them. Each player turns over their top card, face up, and the winner is the one with the highest value card. The winner takes both cards. This continues. In the event of a tie, then you take 3 more cards from your stack, turning over the last one, and that person then wins all of the cards. This continues until someone eventually gets all the cards. Easy.
One of the children's games we played was called Perfection. There are a bunch of plastic pieces of all different shapes, and they fit into cut-out openings on the board. It helps with dexterity and thinking. For added pressure, there is a timer you set for (1 minute?) that makes the whole board pop up when time is up. That can be a little startling for us older folks, heart-attack inducing I call it.
Another way to combat boredom and give him a little treat is to give m&m's spread out on a tray or napkin or plate. My husband has dexterity problems, so it gives him a little exercise, getting his treat. They are soft and melt in your mouth, so even with dysphagia, he is able to eat them without trouble.
Sometimes he points to his head and cries. He is indicating that he feels like his brain is not working, and it is frustrating and scary and sad. Most of the time, though, he is fairly content just watching tv and being served protein drinks and snacks. He knows I love him and he knows I will keep him safe. And for now, that's the best we can get.
My husband and I play music in assisted living and nursing homes, often for residents with dementia. One place offered a program for family members and the public where you sign up and participate in a simulation of dementia. We took part in the program -- you put in shoe inserts that simulate neuropathy, over sized gloves to simulate difficulties in everyday tasks, and headphones with an audio tape the simulated difficulties in hearing.
Even though we knew it was just a half hour program, it was nerve shattering. The headphones had discussions where we couldn't really hear what they were saying, sometimes loud noises like doors banging that were startling, etc. I was surprised at my reactions, it was really difficult to not burst into tears from the stress. And I knew it was just a simulation.
If you have a chance to participate in that kind of thing, it would help to understand, even if just a little. The thing that stood out to me was, often these folks need reassurance and to feel safe, so for your husband, maybe just reassure him that he's safe and things are okay, even if you have to say it often. I think there are dementia forums on the internet, and perhaps others can help you more. I know it's so difficult, I will be praying for you.
https://a.co/d/0iikfqGv
Living In The Labyrinth is the story of how one woman found the strength and the courage to cope with a devastating disease that has afflicted five million Americans. Far from being an exercise in self-pity or a standard autobiography, this is an unflinching and ultimately uplifting look at a debilitating illness from the inside out.
“Somewhere there is that ever-present reminder list of what I am supposed to do today. But I cannot find it. I attempt to do the laundry and find myself outside, in my backyard, holding soiled clothes. How did I get here? How do I get back?”
Only forty-five when she first began to struggle with the memory lapses and disorientation that signal the onset of Alzheimer’s, Diana Friel McGowin has written a courageous, stirring insider’s story of the disease that is now the fourth leading killer of American adults.
Diana’s personal journey through days of darkness and light, fear and hope gives us new insight into a devastating illness and the plight of its victims, complete with a list of early warning signs, medical background, and resources for further information. But Diana’s story goes far beyond a recounting of a terrifying disease. It portrays a marriage struggling to survive, a family hurt beyond words, and a woman whose humor and intelligence triumph over setbacks and loss to show us the best of what being human is.
“A stunner of a book . . . it takes the reader on a terrifying but enlightening journey.”—San Antonio News Express
“Touching and sometimes angry . . . a poignant insider’s view.”—The Cincinnati Enquirer
I know several years ago when one of the gentlemen in my caregivers support group had the opportunity to do a virtual experience that was to show what folks with dementia were going through. I remember him commenting on how eye opening it was and frightening all the same. But it did give him a better understanding what his wife was going through who had Alzheimer's for 21 years.
You may want to talk to your husband doctor about putting him on some kind of an anti-depressent, so he can better tolerate what's going on in his broken brain.
And just be there for him best you can. I wish you well as you travel this very difficult road with your husband.