I'm posting this for those of us who are "elders" ourselves. Right now I'm doing just fine in a condo. We moved here several years ago to be closer to family when my husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's. He passed away two years ago. Right now I'm comfortable, healthy, and totally independent: driving, all my ADLs and IADLs, exercising, doing a lot of volunteer work, etc. At almost 82, I know all this could change unexpectedly. At the urging of my kids, I did put myself on wait lists for a couple of nearby "continuing care" communities that have independent living cottages and apartments, assisted living, memory care, and in one case also a SNF. They do take people in directly from the community to their AL, SNF, and memory care, though priority guarantee is given to people who are already living there. Obviously if I became physically or mentally unable to be alone and needed 24 hour care or assistance, moving to AL, SNF, or memory care would be an easy decision. (I do have POA all set up in case I can't make the decision myself, and though I don't have LTC insurance I am fortunate to have the financial wherewithal in to be able to sustain such a move. )
What I'm wrestling with is under what circumstances would I, or any of you, decide to move to an IL apartment or cottage in a senior community with meals, transportation, activities, etc.? I'm thinking that one factor for me would be if I can no longer drive. Another would be if I feel I need ready access to someone in case of an emergency (these ILs in continuing care places have pull cords or emergency call systems, and there is always someone on duty.) Of course if I remain in my condo there is the option of having groceries delivered, taking taxi or Uber to appointments, online classes or exercise classes, and so on. But I think it might be lonely and isolating not to have the ability to be out and about, so having the built-in social opportunities in a senior community might be attractive--not to mention transportation for appointments and events, meals, and so on.
One of my strongest wishes is to remain as independent as possible and not burden my kids. They would be more than willing to drive me if I could no longer drive, assist with house chores, etc., but I don't want them to have to on a routine basis.
So, under what circumstances would you consider moving?
1. Difficulty maintaining her home. She’s not really physically capable of doing the cleaning and maintenance chores, and rising costs and turnover of cleaning services was a factor. She also started to get frustrated with unexpected HOA assessments and things needing repair.
2. her vision is poor and I think she saw the day coming when she would have to give up driving. Indeed, a year later she relinquished her license and sold her car. Although my brother and I are happy to take her to any appointments or shopping she needs to do, she seems to prefer not having to ask. She’s a regular user of the facility’s transportation service.
3. She has had two serious falls followed by hospitalization and rehab. Her last rehab was in the facility where she decided to move (I guess she felt comfortable there). They also have assisted living if she needs it in the future.
4. The social aspects. It can be isolating living alone compared to an apartment where there are always people around, at meals, etc. Even her cat seems to like socializing with the other people and pets (well, maybe not the dogs).
You’ll probably know when you don’t enjoy your living situation anymore and are ready for an easier life.
I will turn 88 in January and have back issues that definitely impact what I can do. So far, I am able to maintain the household (with the help of a great housecleaner every 2 weeks), shop for groceries, run errands, do laundry, cat care, etc. But I cannot be sure what the future holds for me physically. Except for misplacing my glasses, keys or a word occasionally, I think I'm functioning pretty well mentally. Our legal paperwork is in place.
As is likely true for many moderate-income elders, the cost of a CCC (continuing care community) is out of reach for us. That is the case even with long-term care insurance, for which the premiums just increased AGAIN. They now cost the equivalent of what was once a down payment on a house! Only the truly wealthy can afford a "5-star" facility and care. The possibility of outliving our resources is a MAJOR concern for me. Is that true for some of you, fellow elders?? If we ultimately need facility care, we simply could not afford to live much longer (yes, I know Medicaid can help at the end).
We need to conserve our limited capital which means staying in our current residence as long as it is at all manageable. We moved to a single-level manufactured home in a 55+ community 11 years ago. The space rent is less than we would pay in our area for market rent and MUCH less than the cost of a care facility even when utilities, maintenance and upkeep are factored in.
I've stated many times that we do NOT wish or intend to become a care albatross to our adult children, who are now at or near retirement age. They have earned their freedom in retirement. When to move to a care facility? Simple answer: I don't know. Like AlvaDeer, we sincerely hope to leave our home feet first, but I do understand that may not happen. Independence is important to us, but we realize that it has its limitations (e.g., my husband voluntarily stopped driving 7 years ago, and I drive with self-imposed restrictions). We are introverts so the socialization factor of an IL or ALF isn't a factor for us.
The Australian ABC is completely different from the US ABC, so you can search for more if you get the main OZ site up.
I'm explaining this because I think that by the time you need AL the move process may be overwhelming. Move to an IL facility sooner than later while you can manage the move more easily.
I am sorry for your loss of your husband and send sympathies.
into my decision-making. I would not move to an AL or a CCRC for social reasons b/c I am not very "social" as it is. I do not activiely look for social situations, but I do participate willingly when I find myself with other people so I'm sure I benefit from social interaction more than I realize.
I have thought I would increase hired in-home ADL or health care as needed, If I became too non-functional for home health care to manage, my medical POA would move me to a Nursing or Hospice facility. That mayor not be a realistic plan.
It's a dilemma, isn't it?
. . . .and whatever we plan for may not be what happens after all.
Independent living places do charge a lot and to tell the truth, if my SIL's mom is any example her once wonderful facilities are now looking sad. In her case she actually had to "buy in" in order to avail herself of the progressive care packaging (and now that isn't even possible at her place). Things are allowed to deteriorate, and prices going way up. Sprinkler system outside in fact dangerous and tripped her while walking dog, not working, not fixed. Even minimal care after a fall that caused a small bleed, minimal checking in by the facility "visiting nurse" so highly touted. Just not what it once was a food costing more, giving less so that now she microwaves dinners because she says she doesn't eat that much. I think she enjoys some social programs. For me they would be the downside; I stay very much to myself and it's how I like it. Those who go out to eat in the facility are expected to "dress" in that no jeans. Really? That's what I live in! So I am thinking I wouldn't much like this at all.
There are so few good answers to all of this. Unless you are quite enormously wealthy, and I am talking way more than a 1M in savings, you are likely (and often sadly I think) going to outlive your funds. At that point even the minimal care just disappears.
Reasons I've been told for the move include;
#1 Health. A medical situation needing daily monitoring or on-call help.
#2 Frailty/Falls. Needing more assistance with ADLs.
#3 Fears. Getting overwhelmed by home tasks, home maintenance or financial matters.
#4. Housebound/Getting lonely. Maybe friends in similar situation, no longer driving or getting out much.
When the home all feels too much. When the idea of a downsize starts to appeal.
So for us it is a day to day wait and see. You have done the paperwork. You have explored. You may be comfortable to age 92. Who knows. My SIL who is 70 has a Mother who is in 90s as is her Beau. While they are in a IL community they honestly get little help I can see other than a bit of garden help, a bit of housekeeping available. They even pay extra for meals, which they can use or not, and which they use seldom as they are both slender and eat like birds.
So good luck. Today isn't the day for me. About all I can be certain of at this point. I haven't a clue.
Recently my 62 year old daughter said "So you two; what's your plans and N. laughed and said "feet first out the door". We had a good discussion after as we have had BEFORE, but it didn't make any changes. We ALL wish for feet first out the door, and of course it so seldom happens!