I am so proud of myself. Feel free to use this if you need it.

I officially resigned as a daughter, and the healthcare POA, today. I mailed my mom and sister copies of the letter below, a notarized POA resignation, and a long list of all the crap I've been managing along with logins, passwords and phone numbers for whomever wants to take over.
I thank you all for your guidance. I'm sad it took me 51 years to see that what my parents tried to pass off as "Italian culture" was really just generational abuse and old-fashioned grooming (as one of my fav people on this message board with the great avatar pointed out).
I'm sure family will try to wiggle back in, but I feel truly finished.
And while I normally hate AI, it did really tone down this letter and remove anger, which my mom has never really acknowledged and is now too far gone to understand.
July 9, 2026Dear Mom,
(xxxxx is receiving a copy of this letter.)
I am very glad you made it home safely after last weekend. It was a scary experience for everyone. When we couldn't find you, we were terrified. We had to call the police, search the house for your body (In case the car had been stolen), and eventually pick you up after you had driven into another state. I am grateful that you were not hurt.
That experience made it clear to me how dangerous it has become for you to live alone without using your cell phone, without a medical alert device, and while continuing to drive and use the stairs by yourself. I know you do not see the situation the same way I do, and I respect that you have the right to make your own decisions.
I listened carefully to you at the neurologist appointment and on the drive home. It’s clear you don’t want to make changes right now.
I have also had to make a difficult decision of my own.
I can no longer be responsible for managing your care. For many years, I have done everything I could to help you and Dad. After everything our family has been through, I have reached the point where continuing in that role is affecting my own physical and mental health. I also need to be fully present for xxxxxxx.
Because of that, I am resigning as your healthcare power of attorney and am following the legal process required to do so. This is not a decision I made quickly or lightly.
I also need to step back from regular contact. I will not be calling or visiting while you continue to live independently. This is a boundary I need for my own well-being, and I ask that you respect it.
I know that you cared for your own parents and that you believe family should do that. My circumstances are different, and I have to make the decision that is healthiest for me and my family.
I want you to know that I am grateful for many things you gave me while I was growing up. Thank you for feeding me, giving me a home, making sure I received an education, and for the happy memories we shared. I will always tell xxxxxx those good stories about you.
To help support you, I have arranged weekly grocery deliveries from Amazon and daily prepared meals. xxxxxx and I can work together to adjust those services if needed.
If, at some point, you decide that you would like to move into an assisted living community where you can get the care and safety you need, I will gladly help with that process, and I will visit you regularly.
The rest of this packet contains important information that you, xxxxx, or anyone helping you with your home or healthcare may need.
I truly hope you stay safe.Love,xxxxx