Follow
Share

First off, we are not involved in this family situation as it’s long been made clear who’s in charge (we’re actually grateful it’s not us) MIL, many years of ignored hearing loss, always a bit flaky, is declining further and further into dementia. Whole family acknowledges both she and FIL have dementia, though hers is worse, but no medical evaluation or diagnosis will be sought. They eat meals on repeat as they can’t remember if they’ve eaten, buy the same groceries over as they can’t remember what they have, no longer remember to call anyone, don’t recall what they’re told at doctor appointments, and mostly just isolate (though the cars have not been taken, driving continues, yes stupidly) still live on their own. She’s going to have a significant heart surgery soon, cardiologist insists it’s needed. She can’t remember to do pacemaker checks and has no idea what’s being done. When she’s asked just says she will do whatever is needed. Hence my question/concern—for every medical procedure anyone in my family has had, right before the anesthesia, the questions are asked, tell us your name, birthdate, and what procedure you’re having today. This is after the pre surgery time when informed consent is obtained and signed by the patient. She is definitely not able to recall what the surgery is or why she’s having it. Is it still valid to say she’s consented? There will be no admission of dementia by family. What’s the medical staff’s role in assuring the patient has any clue what they are agreeing to? My son had a huge surgery within days of birth, I was in a complete fog and can guarantee there was no true “informed consent” by me. Yet I know it’s there, all signed. I guess I view this as a bit mean to MIL. She’s never made any effort to be close to me or the grandchildren I gave her, but I still don’t want to see her harmed by a surgery her muddled mind doesn’t understand. Not to mention anesthesia in her mid 80’s. Informed consent with dementia? Any thoughts?

6 Comments

Newest
First Oldest
First
It's also important to note that low IQ individuals without a guardian also have to make informed consent decisions, even when they do not understand what is being said to them. In my view that is informed consent even if they cannot process what is being said as it is as informed as they can possibly be. It really is relative.
(0)
Report
I think the doctors are used to dealing with elderly patients and know the risks. When my dad (in his 70s and in bad health) had one of his procedures he was pretty much comatose and mom and I were living on almost no sleep, and what sleep we got was there in the hospital room with him. Staff dealt kindly with us and tried to make sure we understood not only the risks, but the need for the procedure. I feel the doctor did his best in an almost no win situation. It turned out the procedure was the right choice and dad lived to see another day.
(0)
Report
It all depends on their ages. My Mom passed at 89k after 6 yrs of diagnosed Denentia. (There were signs before). I would not have allowed heart surgery once she was diagnosed. Mainly for the reasons you mention. Why prolong her life when she has this horrible desease. My Mom had bladder cancer at 80. After her disgnoses and 5 yrs clear, I stopped taking her to the urologist. If the cancer came back, no way could she do the chemo.
(1)
Report
Your husband can make a call to APS and tell them there are two seniors with dementia, still driving, and one is supposed to have heart surgery and cannot even say when her birthday is. Tell them who their POA is too and their contact information. He can ask to remain annonymous and APS will respect that. Your in-laws cannot be left on their own anymore because they aren't coping. They are not safe living on their own anymore. Don't try to talk to their POA yourself. You've said here you've never had a close relationship with them so don't open that can of worms. Maybe your spouse can have a word with the POA and see if he gets anywhere with it before calling APS.

It's beyond your control, my friend. All you can do is hope for the best .
(2)
Report
Sorry for any confusion. This was meant as a discussion more on the ethics and true meaning of informed consent, whether anyone really cares when it’s not possible in the true sense of the term. As stated at the start, we are not involved. There is a POA who admits the dementia while also stating with certainty “she will be fine” and both in-laws are safe to live independently “for several more years” There is no desire to become educated on dementia. I get the low bar for consent, we will not be warning anyone of possible issues. My concerns will remain just with me
(3)
Report
I would be very, very concerned about the effects of general anesthesia on someone with dementia. However, what you can do about it is the big question (which is exactly what you're asking, I know). Does anyone have her medical POA? If so, will that person care, or is that person in the denial camp? Unfortunately you may just have to await the outcome with baited breath, hoping for the best.
(1)
Report

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter