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Has he had a complete neuropsych work up? As in 3-6 hours of paper and pencil testing with a neurpsychologist, neurologist and psychiatrist and/or psychiatric advanced practice nurse?

These go beyond the brief assessments that get done in a regular docot's office or clinic.

I would also not trust your dad's word as to whether he "passed" something or not. Talk to the assesor. Get the name of the assessment and what it measures.

An assessment like this will tell you a great deal about your father's real cognitive issues. Medicare will pay for it.
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Paul,

If I had to use one word to describe your dad it would be ‘control.’ He is a man who likes to be in charge of things.

Your last posts tell me another side to him though. He depends on you because he may be fearful. He knows that he is losing his grip. He’s making a huge effort to hang on.

He may not be as sure of himself as he wishes to be.

Take care, Paul.
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The advice on the workup is for TGEngine, not for Paul.
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Barb,

Thanks for clarification.
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I hope Tgengine can get that long term plan for his Dad - & get his own life back.

It's got me wondering about stepping into that 'Fixer' role - either by volunteer or having it forced upon us.

Does it go the same way? Does the Needy One's needs always smother the Fixer in the long run? Or can they keep some individuality?
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TG - Nice to meet you. Hi from sunny Wales.

I think you're story tells me what it would be like if my Dad lived with me.....
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Yeh needhelp - he is very anxious. 99% of the time over nothing....

I help but hes stubborn so a lot of it he brings on himself. I can only do so much.
I've tried to get him to speak to GP about his anxiety but, his opinion, is that there is no such thing as mental illness and you just need to "pull your socks up".

Alas, he doesnt practice what he preaches....
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While the article states Wales, Scotland, N. Ireland set their own rules, I would think this:

"British Prime Minister Boris Johnson on Saturday announced a new month-long lockdown for England after being warned that without tough action a resurgent coronavirus outbreak will overwhelm hospitals in weeks."

will likely mean extensions to any existing rules in the other localities...

Good news for Paul?
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I am thinking of you Paul, in the new UK lockdowns.

My city has just released from lockdown. Can leave house whenever I like but some restrictions still around visiting other households - so I am not 🙃
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Paul - Happy Halloween! How do people usually celebrate it in Wales? We decorated the front yard with the usual RIP signs, skeletons, etc. and a couple of pumpkins at the front door. I took my two girls to go see a scary movie at the theater yesterday. Besides us, there were 2 other people. Big crowd. The nice thing was that all 5 of us agreed it was too loud, so we asked the management to turn the volume down for us. And they did.

Your wife has a tough year, knee surgery and then skin cancer-good that it's benign. I hope her knee will heal and be as good as new.

As for your dad bugging you about what to do with his bank paperwork, my mom used to the same to me too (when she still had her mind.) I really think it was because she didn't have anything else to keep her occupied, so whatever came in the mail became her focus and she kept nagging me to come and take a look because it "could" be important. It never was.

It's interesting to read the idioms used by English speaking people outside the US. I understand when Margaret said "driving his wife around the bend' because we use "driving someone up the wall" or "driving someone nuts". I understand your dad's statement "pull your socks up" too. Never heard it before, but it sure sounds like "pull yourself up by the bootstraps." Hahaha.
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Polar,

A movie! Fun! Some normalcy. Bet your girls enjoyed it.
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NHWM - It was nice to go out for entertainment. We had popcorn with butter, candies and drinks. Way overpriced, but I don't mind. The theater needs business, and the employees need their jobs.
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Paul,

Yep! Common attitude for your dad’s generation. You know, our kids don’t feel the way past generations have felt. We are raising them differently. I have a lot of faith in the next generation. I find our youth aren’t intimidated very easily. They have never known a world without technology. They are fearless and will be problem solvers.

I’m a boomer. We will be dying off. (hopefully not soon, LOL) We have to pass the torch into their hands. I know all generations make certain mistakes but I always hope for improvements in every new generation.
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Polar,

Oh yes, overpriced but once in awhile it’s fun to do!

Do you think the movie industry is going to survive? They have been struggling for awhile. The competition with Netflix, HuLu and others, it has been hard for them.

It must have felt strange being there, huh? Everything is so different now.

It is nice to see a movie on the big screen. Of course, nowadays people buy big screen televisions to watch at home.
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Yes Englands going into lockdown from next Thursday for a month.

Wales (and NI I think) have been in lockdown for just over a week. Ends Nov 9th.
So far in wales they've said Nov 9th will go back to normal - so no more regional lockdown after this. Means I'd be free to go see Dad :-(

What will happen - who knows?

Theres been a lot of unrest in wales, the government stopped supermarkets selling clothes, kitchen utensils etc which was crazy. You could but a tin of soup but not a tin opener. There was even one store who stopped shoppers buying womans sanitary products as "non essential".
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polar- yes socks I guess same as bootstraps......

I guess in USA you'd say something like "put your big boy pants on". Either way its not nice....

Yeh we had limited halloween on out front driveway (not sure what its in usa - front yard). We've got loads of inflatables (mostly brought home from florida!) but we had to cut down this year.
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That is so crazy Paul. Lockdown, reopen, lockdown, reopen. Same in many parts of the USA.. That's the strategy for how long? No one knows. Even with the vaccine, people can still get the virus. So, lockdown and reopen repetedly forever? Truly crazy. But one thing for sure. Those in charge are enjoying their power to control the masses.
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Dear Paul, take care. And PolarBear, we have no vaccine yet so no-one knows how long one might last. The leaders here and in many places are working as hard as they can in incredibly stressful circumstances. I very much doubt if the good ones are ‘enjoying the power’.
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I agree with MargaretMcKen--restricting activities and movement doesn't make those in charge particularly popular, so they are likely reluctant to resort to it only because they believe it will help the situation. Unfortunately, tracking one's contacts is becoming impractical now because many new cases are popping up that most patients don't know from whom or what they caught it. Let's all just hope for an effective vaccine as soon as possible.
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I strongly disagree with both Margaret an bob. But I won't delve further into it as it will get political.

I also see that AC deleted part of my earlier comments about Sweden doing it correctly.
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Polar - here in the UK, Wales and Scotland have "some" devolved powers i.e. our government. Even thought we're all British and have representatives in London we've got our own parliaments too.

I always though it was a good idea until 8 months ago.

Westminster government is right wing (Conservative - Boris Johnson). Wales government is left wing (Labour - Wales is ALWAYS labour). Wales have healthcare as a devolved power.

So Central government decide one thing, Wales (being other end of political spectrum) do the opposite because they can. Same in Scotland (although ruling party there is SNP - scottish nationalists). ITs all a political game now.
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polar- yep sweden have been right from the get go.
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Sweden has a population density of 22.97 persons per square kilometre.

The United Kingdom, 279.95.

Horses for courses.
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CM - Do people in Sweden spread out evenly over their land? Meaning only 23 people occupy a sq km? Of course not, that would be silly. Sweden people still congregate in big urban cities like people do in other countries. Stockholm city for instance has a population of 1,641,514 with a density of 4,279 people per sq. km. They have markets, churches, night clubs, etc. that draw crowds just like anywhere else.
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And New York has 27,000 per square mile.

It is much easier to look efficient and disciplined when you are dealing with smaller, simpler systems.
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New York is one of the most crowded cities in the USA. Most of our cities are not any where near that density.
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Has anyone seen Sweden's numbers? They don't look so good to me. https://www.google.com/search?q=sweden+covid&oq=sweden&aqs=chrome.2.69i57j46j69i59j0l2.2757j0j4&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

New Zealand seems to be a place that is getting it right.
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Some countries seem to be helped by being smaller, in some cases those thriving are Islands in some senses, with travel restrictions. It is my opinion that none will escape, and we need to follow the best advice we can follow in all of this. But whatever countries are now doing well? I wish them luck and hope for them, but I doubt it will last. Depends on how long places like New Zealand can stay isolated. Perhaps a long time (I think they are not isolated, but doing careful testing of visitors. They are small. They can do this. Much more difficult for big places.)
Because the slogans have become so much "You wear a mask to protect OTHERS" some people are not understanding that masks also help YOU. Am reposting the mask information so we can know which help US, how they help and how much they help. It is:
https://www.fda.gov/medical-devices/personal-protective-equipment-infection-control/n95-respirators-surgical-masks-and-face-masks
Remember, when you see people in NON-Covid-19 days in medical settings wearing masks, they are often wearing them to protect THEMSELVES AND YOU. So mask up. Hand wash. Social distance.
This is a pandemic. There was little question it would come back, and it would peak again in the autumn and now it is. This virus will go on a long time and there are no good answers about "locking down" and "opening up". Vaccine will be a whole. Likely only 60% will take it. And likely only 60% of THEM will be helped by it. We are going to be living with this, and living with it is very difficult. Not everything has an answer or can be fixed, but we CAN do the best we can do.
Because so many of us love this Elder Forum we are hearing so much about the devastation from both the disease and the isolation for our elders, and those caring for them are up against it as well. Hard times.
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Barb, the point is that Sweden's numbers are no worse than the rest of the world, yet they are not locking down and putting themselves in isolation. Social isolation is as bad as being in jail for those who live alone.
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Polar, if you live alone (as several of my good friends here in NYC do) you can meet on a park bench, wear a mask and have a socially distanced visit. I did this today in 40 degree temps and will continue to do it all winter long.

You can agree to make yourself a "pod" as I have done with my kids and God help me, my ex and his wife so that we were able to have socially distanced BBQs and birthday parties in a park or a back yard. Thanksgiving will be each one at home and then socially distanced pie outdoors after our meals.

I think if you look at the lessons of the 1918 pandemic (masks, social distancing) and of Ebola (containment, quick contacts tracing at the very start) and you understand the science of air and droplet borne illnesses, the techniques you use are pretty simply if everyone realizes that the restrictions are temporary and for the good of all.

In NYC, we are hanging on my our fingernails but the folks who find the need to go out to indoor bars, outdoor restaurants with shoulder to shoulder crowds and relgious services with no restrictions and the like are starting a new spread.
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