Always is when I go away for the weekend with my family...
You can guarantee when I come back he's "been ill". EVERY TIME. So I phoned him - first sentence "I've been ill". Like its my fault because I went away!
STILL not taking all his medication that the GP gave him so I offer ZERO sympathy. Basically, wants me to tell him how he can feel better - "Take the meds the GP has given you Dad, if that fails then go an see you're GP but I'm not a doctor."
His words - "I desperately need you to visit the weekend." "I've got no food in the house" (Brother lives literally 5 mins drive from him - I live 35-40 mins. Brother is probably laying low). Anyway, he knows my car is in the garage so I'm struggling for transport and he knows my wife works weekends so may need our other car. So I tell him I can't promise. Anyone would have thought I'd told him I'd murdered the family next door.
Apparently, I'm "letting him down" and "need to arrange something", and "wife needs to understand". Of course the standby offer of home delivery groceries is not good enough - he doesn't want to spend the £30 minimum - they have to be hand delivered by me!
I've tried setting boundaries, I've said no can do, I've tried ignoring, I've tried just not doing. Give him his due he's relentless in his quest to get me to do what he wants!
Mini-skirts: didn't go to Catholic schools, but our school had a limit. One girl was sent home to put a longer skirt on (for those who are too young to experience this, we were NOT allowed to wear pants back then!) - her longest was still too short! I would take my hems up, mom would take them down, so my solution was like yours. Never worse a dress again, just skirts, get on bus, pull shirt tails out and roll up that waistband! Kids are usually smarter than their parents realize!
I can see how you would choose Florida as a place to live. My dad grew up in Florida. He wasn’t near Disney. He was near the beach, which I love! He was near Panama City Beach. Love that white sand and the beautiful Gulf of Mexico. We went every summer in my childhood. My husband and I took our children many times. They like Disney too. My youngest daughter likes Universal better than Disney.
Daddy met mom when he was stationed in New Orleans during his military days. Mom was very beautiful and he followed her and introduced himself to her. My dad was really handsome as a young man in uniform. They fell in love and he decided to stay in New Orleans.
I was only responding to Paul’s comments. I am not telling anyone else how to feel. I happen to agree with Paul and was telling him that.
People are free to feel any way they choose to.
The very last thing I am trying to do is stir up a controversy. So no need to read anything more into it. I am very much a live and let live person as long as no harm is done to others.
I am only referring to what is considered ‘politically correct’ these days. Gee, I was trying so very hard to cover all the bases and report what was said historically when I was a child. We only knew to say Indian. The old westerns on television were about cowboys and Indians. Yes, it was the ‘Hollywood version.” I am sure much of it wasn’t accurate. I had a huge crush on Clint Eastwood!
You are certainly free to call yourself whatever you desire and not feel any shame. That is your business.
Thanks for telling me how you personally feel. I appreciate it. We are all walking on eggshells these days. All I have ever wanted was to live in harmony with others.
Just so you know what Indians feel about politically correct names.
When I was a child we watched the old western television shows with my grandfather. They were popular then featuring cowboys and Indians (now referred to as Native Americans) and toy guns were extremely popular for children. Did you have toy guns in the UK? Just curious...
Its getting to the point where I dont know to be honest.
I remember speaking to the guys there who were lovely. I mentioned we just did not see guns in the UK ever pretty much. They were amazed but all had the attitude (I suppose working in a gun club you'd be more of a supporter) that they hoped the US would never be like the UK because it was their right to have a gun to protect themselves.....
I do remember our drills. We only had fire drills.
I am 64. My school days were vastly different from my children’s. So sad.
The worst that I saw in elementary school was someone chewing gum which was against the rules, an occasional food fight in the cafeteria or talking in class. Oh, and the boy who sat in front of me decided to staple his finger to see if it would hurt. Our teacher (a nun) was not happy when she heard him scream. Hahaha
In high school there was the occasional ‘smoker’ who was caught or we rolled up our Catholic school skirts because they were supposed to be knee length.
The nuns would make us kneel on the floor and the skirt had to touch the floor. That was the ‘mini skirt’ era and I hated it and would roll up the waistband on my skirt.
There wasn’t anything serious to worry about. Now, kids have imposters or fellow students bringing guns into the classroom. It’s horrible.
My youngest daughter is now at LSU, (Geaux Tigers!) and the university police sent alert messages to students saying a man was spotted on campus with a gun. She called me freaking out. Then I freaked.
Guess who had a visible gun showing and who turned him in? A janitor alerted security and the gunman was an undercover cop!
Geeeeeez, wouldn’t you think he would realize that he can’t walk around in today’s day and age with a visible gun? I say, great janitor for alerting the university police and good for the security at her school and someone needs to talk to the undercover cop!
Like Paul says, it’s nuts how people act with guns.
Your difficulty might be your emotions, understandably, after all he's your dad, but you need to act logically. His doctor and the 999 responders certainly do.
I totally agree with your feelings on guns. As a US citizen it is always on my mind. The mass shootings are so disturbing, especially school children.
We have typical fire drills in schools but we also invader drills preparing students what to do in the case of an imposter in the school with a gun. So sad!
Killing sprees in movie theaters and concerts. Awful!
Regarding your dad, it’s just hard always living with the pressure of his constant expectations of you. I’m sorry you have to deal with it. There will always be underlying stress associated with it.
Paul, our healthcare system needs improvement too. I suppose there isn’t a place on earth that has perfect healthcare.
He does seem to be getting VERY obsessed with me visiting or not. Like its a huge, massive deal. He seems to be overly anxious and stressing that I've GOT TO VISIT.
Hes been very erratic as well. I'm concerned that this is playing on his mind a little. Like I've always said, his health is OK, he manages to live alone, hes got friends, he goes out. I've ALWAYS sorted things for him in the past, never let him down, but it sometimes feels like he feels the need to test my commitment ALL the time.
After fake admissions a few years ago, fake illnesses, ambulance etc I am concerned that if he feels things aren't going how he'd like we'll get that again or worse.
I think the only thing putting me off would be crime and gun laws if I'm honest. Nuts how someone can own a gun that easily. Its foreign to us in the UK where is pretty much NO gun crime because you can't get one!
Then again, and CM will disagree, I think the healthcare in the UK is AWFUL. My wife tore her ACL in her knee last week - 7 HOURS wait in A&E. Yet they prioritise drink people covered in blood, dragging in there by the police, abusing staff (And there is NO security!).
GP appointments pretty much 2-3 week wait. Only chance of urgent appt is to turn up at 8am and wait until 11am.
I mention Florida. We drive past the sign "Kissimmee Hospital A&E - current wait time - 14 minutes" Just WOW.
I have thought about it. My husband most likely not be on board with it. I wouldn’t mind.
I would miss New Orleans cuisine!
When the thunderstorm struck this week, instead of complaining about the rain, people said "at least it's proper rain - not that poo rain!" You've got to laugh 😁
There is an awful mess to clear up, though. The council sent an email to all staff yesterday morning asking for volunteers to go out and help. Only... yesterday was my first day off for over a week, and I turned my phone off and hid. I will now feel guilty all weekend.
What about you? You ready to leave the U.S.?
The groceries?? Well currently, DH decided to teach son some life skills & took up the challenge that groceries are a man's job. "It's our job to hunt & bring back meat, son" (ie what's on special at Aldi...)
Maybe in the future, drones will deliver. We'll probably be all living in domed cities to protect against the mega storms, tornados & bushfires. On hills for flood protection too!
This year already we've had fire, smoke, mega hail storms & a brown sticky rain people said was like manure falling from the sky (luckily I was out of town for that!)
CM & Paul, hope the flood waters are receding?
Mm. And who's fetching the groceries?
Also love the ideas from Scandinavia esp Denmark but had the concept of cozy couch time under a blankie (watching a movie) way before we heard of h. . Must be my 12% Viking genes, he he.
My partner & I joke about moving to Tasmania if we outlive the parents. Will take disabled sister with me (to a local nursing home). Kids can visit - there is a ship or planes...
Neither of us could remember her name. Like you said, it was a long time ago!
Yes, I read Brave New World as a teen too. Also 1984 oh, and remember reading George Orwell, Animal Farm? That was one we read as teens too.
Tina Brown is the editor of Vanity Fair, isn't she! - oops, I do beg her pardon :/
Nowadays, after babies and a bit of actual life and all the rest of it, I (mostly) get it.
Yes. Of course you are correct! Sorry! I read both books many years ago!
Thank you for correcting me! Yes, I can’t recall her name. We’ll have to look it up.
Okay, I looked it up. Louise Brown.
Tina Brown, I think, was the first test tube baby, wasn't she? Decades ago - goodness, I wonder how she is now! I'm so pleased for you that your blessings both came along in the end in their own different ways :)