Lealonnie and Hubby: Liver Transplant Journey

If you're in need of ideas for more calories to incorporate, there's a supplement called "benecalorie" that has 330 calories and 7g of protein in a 1.5 oz container. Made by Nestle, available online. We make my husband a morning smoothie with the very high calorie Boost (550 calories), the benecalorie, and some frozen fruit that I first defrost in the microwave, sometimes 1/2 banana also. We've used frozen mango, papapya, peaches, strawberries, and blueberries. Haven't tried pineapple. Tried frozen avocado and also greens, but those were not a hit!

Thank you newbiewife, great suggestions!! He is drinking the Boost VHC shakes now, but the other I haven't heard of. Sounds good with the frozen fruits added in, and maybe something his stomach would tolerate. I had to laugh at the avocado which Chuck calls 'a tool of the devil' so we won't be adding that in either! LOL

The new plan is for him to up his water intake by 32 oz a day, one med has been reduced again, and the head of the transplant dept is seeing him on Weds; he has appts Sun-Weds and I am hoping this all gets straightened out by then. Today was a pretty good day, thank God. There was another man here last year who had bad kidney numbers consistently and it all turned out to be WATER/hydration related, which may be Chuck's issue too. Getting his nausea/constipation issues under control (which we've been doing) helps him get in more water.

DD is back with us on Sunday afternoon & working in the lobby from 6 am - 5 pm daily until we leave. It'll be cramped in this little room with 3 of us here, but it'll also be good to have her back. We did his weekly pill boxes together, had dinner and had a great chat too. Her fiance is NOT being very supportive of her right now, so I'm glad she has us to vent to/talk with.

Dang, on that fiance is all I can say. I am glad DD will be with you and you can talk. My suggestion is that when we have the bust up of a marriage we understand often enough that we KNEW ahead of time what problems would take us down. We just thought we could fix it. But nope, the problems we take on going in are a part of the contract, and there are only more coming. I hope, if it is apparent that there cannot be support with all now she is going through, then there is some recognition that there may never be. I am so relieved she is an RN because this means she can be safe no matter where she lives and has to work. That makes a good deal of difference in what we will put up with.
I am glad you will have that support. Always good to get your updates, the first place I come in the a.m.

The fiancé is unhappy about your daughter devoting all her time to taking care of her stepfather. If it were her real father, he would probably feel the same.

You are the aging parents now. You have a responsibility to not keep blowing up her life. Sure she may quote unquote agree now. But it won’t just be today that he and you need this. You have heard, we have all heard, about what this does to people’s relationships.

The purpose of threads on forum isn’t to just say what you want to hear.
, which you have insisted on for over a month here. The purpose of forum is to impart advice, and most people here have heard advice that is emotionally painful, not just the smiley cookies.

Lea, excuse me.

Peggy, knock it off. You obviously have NEVER been in a life or death battle for your husband's life or you would stop with the effing poking at Lealonnie.

That you find this entertaining or self soothing shows what you are and I find you reprehensible to continue with your snarky comments.

Grow the f up!

iSRR, I have found none of this entertaining at all.

There is already a need in the RN daughter having to sort pills. And now she’s there putting her relationship in jeopardy because, obviously, there are greater needs. That will not go away. And OP knows this. or should.

@ PeggySue2020,
Did you forget?

lealonnie1
Apr 29, 2022
PeggySue.....please STOP commenting on this thread. Thank you.

Reporting your continued disturbing comments to the ACCM, hoping you will be deleted from this supportive thread.

Yes Peggy, you are finding it entertaining or you would stop. Or maybe your nastiness is self soothing?

This isn't propping them up, it's helping out during a crisis. HUGE difference! That you obviously can't differentiate.

Any male that isn't willing to let his fiancée step up to help after surgery should be kicked to the curb, because he will obviously be to controlling, however, you just assumed it is about the help she if giving.

Oh, I didn’t forget. I haven’t forgotten either that April was April.

If we were talking about any other OP here, particularly a new one that we didn’t know, we’d be collectively telling her that her husbands health is something that they as a couple have to handle as they are competent.

Three operations so far under a general since April. Systemic haywire. Yeah, they will need more help once he is outta there, which apparently he’s not yet but will be.

Doimg exotic and extravagant procedures just guarantees future problems. But here people are talking about what, dog booties and ensure plus? That is not the issue. The immediate issue is that the daughter agreed to marry this man and op doesn’t seem to care about what that does to her daughters fiancé and to their relationship, according to ops own words so far.

Lealonnie,
Found the Natures Path Smart Bran at our local market Sprouts.
What a good suggestion for fiber!
No matter what you are going through, you have always been a help to others.

Thank you!

Just an FYI. There is Sprouts in Phoenix and surrounding areas.

They are far cheaper then WF.

Lea, excuse me, too.
PeggySue, what's up with you?
I am so surprised, to tell you the truth.
I do not understand why you would come here bashing a fellow Forum member who has a plate absolutely full, whose loved husband is fighting for his life (and valiantly) and pretend you have the answer to everything from current medical practices for transplant to why the member's darling daughter's fiancee has his undies in a bunch.
That we disagree about fiancee is neither here nor there (if he can't support his future wife in this, there will be many other ways in future he cannot support her, and to me this is an early warning system; to put it bluntly I would kick his butt to the curb if he doesn't shape up fast).
Please stop what you are doing. Please. We don't have to all love one another, but we can learn to leave one another in peace. Quite honestly I am begging you to stop this. It's cruel.

ITRR.
You are right, the price differences are amazing looking at Whole Foods vs. places like Sprouts and Trader Joe's.

Is there a Trader Joe's in Arizona, Phoenix or Scottsdale?

I really like the Trader Joe's bran cereal, looks like tiny cut ups of a strand of spaghetti, 1/2 inch long, brown in color. My dH mixes that with other cereals.

Happy Saturday everyone.

Alva, IDK that there will be a 'bust up' coming up here between DD & her fiance, but come what may, SHE is the one who calls the shots about her life & doesn't take orders from me, her step dad or her dad *who she's cared for throughout his stage 4 cancer ordeal*, that's for sure. She's a strong woman who requires a strong man for a husband, that I know for a fact. Those w/o children are clueless about the whole dynamic, what it means & what it looks like, relationship-wise, that's for sure. It's like giving advice or passing judgment on caregiving for elders when a person has no experience with it! A joke & a waste of everyone's time.

ITRR, my DD should have kicked her fiance to the curb years ago, imo, but her heart is so huge that she sometimes overlooks obvious things in the name of love. I told her yesterday that her 20s are almost over now and she's looking at her 30s here shortly w/o a baby (which she wants) so NOW is the time to think hard about what SHE wants for HER future. We like her fiance, but SHE has to be happy with him, that's what's important; we support her one way or another.

My DD is here of her own volition, btw, and not b/c mommy can't handle things on her own. She CHOSE to come here is choosing to suffer any consequences of that decision. Not that I owe anyone an explanation, but there it is.

Send, there is a Sprouts here and a Trader Joe's too, and in Denver as well, and I know they're both way less expensive than Whole Foods. The thing is, WF is literally across the street so I'm going there to save time and for convenience purposes, and so I don't have to GPS my way to the other places and run the risk of getting lost. Yes, I'm one of those people who gets lost easily and often :( And yes, I realize I'm opening myself up to more cheap shots by making that statement! Who cares? I'm human, in case I forgot to mention that previously. I'm incredibly tired & worn out, too, so I'm willing to spend more to save energy right now. When we get home, THEN I'll drive to my local Sprouts & TJs, you bet! Oh, we have Natural Grocers too, right down the street, come to think of it.

Here is an article with a short video that was produced by the Mayo Clinic recently talking about what Chuck's surgeon does, Dr. Amit Mathur, which I don't think anyone in their right mind would call "exotic or extravagant" but lifesaving and miraculous. Chuck had end stage liver disease and an aggressive form of cancer, so w/o a transplant, he would have died in short order.

https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/mayo-clinic-minute-liver-in-a-box-is-saving-lives-with-new-technology/

Take a look at this for anyone who is interested in new & life saving technology.

Thank you to everyone who's been supportive and helpful to me, I appreciate it. I've looked forward to coming here to read your comments; they've uplifted me at a scary time in my life. That's been helpful, just like the support group here at the hotel has been. If we feel angry & hateful, we keep those feelings to ourselves b/c we know they're not going to be productive to unleash them. We're all at a crossroads in life where we're feeling vulnerable, so we try to be kind. We talk about funny things & silly stories, not surgeries, b/c everything can't be SO intense all the time. Yes, we know it's serious but we can laugh & joke TOO. We bring cake or cookies to share. We bring smiles and positive words of healing & hope, even when we don't feel that way inside. We fake it b/c that's what it means to give someone support. And if we can't fake it, we'll stay home that night instead of attending. The most laughs everyone got was when I put those pink booties on Honey's paws. One lady who's DH has been in ICU for the past month was laughing so hard she had tears streaming down her face. Tears of laughter for once instead of tears of fear & sadness. That was THE best $9 I've ever spent. No apologies :)

Send, yep, we have Trader Joe's, Wholefoods, Sprouts and Natural Grocers throughout the state.

I never shop WFs, they are really over priced in comparison to Natural Grocers and Sprouts. Trader Joe's, here, doesn't have as big of selection of organic fresh foods as Sprouts.

My secret is eating what's on sale and freezing or canning good deals. Nothing like fresh peach pancakes for new year's day or a nectarine smoothie in January.

This is my bookmark so I know how far I read 😁

I am with you lea, WFs across the street over trying to navigate a strange place. I have never had any sense of direction. So, I don't do cities or go any further than 30 min up the interstate. The traffic gets pretty congested after that and I don't know the area. I also don't do left-hand turns without a light if I can't help it.😊

"my DD should have kicked her fiance to the curb years ago"
IMO, marriage should have happened by now. Sometimes relationships get "comfortable". Really are no longer "in love". Maybe this will be the test.

So sorry you have hit a bump in the road. I can imagine how frustrating it probably is but he is in good hands.

Lea, I hope you didn't take my comments about WF as any type of jab. I would go there in your position as well. I was talking to send when I made that comment.

I am very conscientious with my food budget and I have migraines from pesticides, so I have to eat organic and that means shopping sales and eating seasonal to be able to eat what we enjoy.

Does the WF have an alkaline water hub? Just curious if other locations have it.

ITRR, not at all; I did not take your WF comment as a jab! I was complaining myself about the prices there; $5.99 for a pack of water for petesake. So no worries. I'm just too tuckered out to give a care right now about $$$, so I'm paying their prices (turns out Kaiser does NOT pay us the daily stipend for food, too: oh well). But heck, when I get home, I'll still go there for a few things....like their rotisserie chickens are AMAZING, and some things on the smoked bar, their chopped salad is divine and I'll buy it for LIFE, some cheeses, one of their spicy ranch salad dressings, and their scones *Chuck loves them*, but other things I'll go to the less expensive stores for like TJs, and Sprouts, etc. b/c I LOVE a bargain and saving money. Plus it turns out I like a lot of the organic things which I wasn't expecting :)

I do not know what an "alkaline water hub" is? They do sell alkaline water, in 6 packs and by the gallon and in a 2 gallon box, but that's all I see.

Thanks JoAnn; I am hoping this bump in the road is temporary & YES he's definitely in very good hands here, thank God.

Hugs and continued prayers for your journey. 🌺

You are much loved on this forum, and those of us whom you have helped are very happy to give YOU support for a change. 💐

I pray you have smooth sailing, from here on out, and can get back home to sleep in your own beds really, really soon. 🌻

Lealonnie,
When the choices are coping with a difficult situation, I shop convenient close-by shopping over finding that bargain.

In the past, relocating after a big earthquake, I coped by using my gas credit card to buy food at the gas station mini-mart. Alone, I was not about to shop around, and the one-stop shopping was a stress buster for me. They sold bananas, lol.

WF was my special low-stress shopping for awhile (smaller, nice store) once I arrived in this area, and I loved their prepared foods.

You continue to cope anyway you can.

Water hub is where you fill your own jugs.

Ours has 3 different waters, distilled, alkaline and something else that I can't remember, to expensive for me. We use 6 gallons a day of alkaline water just for drinking.

Has Honey adapted to her pad saving booties?

My avatar is our newest rescue Shepard. He's begging! See that innocent face?

Send, exactly. Normally, I fight all the battles in life. This time, I'm picking my battles and the price battle I'm leaving behind. LOL. WF IS low stress shopping, that's true. I can't imagine having to relocate after a big earthquake.......talk about stressful! Holy cow.

Colleen/cxmoody, thank you sweet girl. I am dreaming of my Tempur-pedic mattress topper which I sorely miss. I wanted to take it but there wasn't enough room in the car :( My back misses it a lot & will be thankful to reconnect with it when we get home. I hope things are going ok with your mom.........? Or, as well as can be expected, at least.

ITRR: I haven't seen a water fill station such as you mention at Whole Foods, no. But I will look when I go next. Here at the hotel, they have filtered water I use in gallon jugs I've saved, but it's not alkaline. Your rescue Shepard is so cute!! Honey is so-so with her booties.......I haven't had to use them too often b/c of the grass patch I found, though.

Chuck has had a GOOD day today, thank God, so I am extremely grateful and hanging onto that as a good omen for the future.

Lea: ❤❤❤❤

great he had a good day!!!! :) :) :) :)
big courage & strength hugs, from me to you and your husband :) :) :).

Alva, You are one of my favorite forum members. Lea was too. But if you told the same story, I’d have the same reaction.

I believe the husband will survive this transplant beyond whatever survival date Mayo uses to achieve their 95 percent survival metric. Long term complications generally aren’t accessed, and will definitely happen. The husband has had three generals so far since April, and before that there was presumably cancer treatment plus a triple bypass in 2020. There are now multiple new chronic conditions.

The RN daughter is basically at their beck and call even as they are right next to a major medical facility. How is this going to change when they go home?

The daughter wants her own family, found someone to have it with, and now The mother is opining that he’s not good enough because why? He’s objecting to her being absent from him for going on two months?

Things cannot stay acute for the long term. Once the husband is discharged, they as the aging parents must take responsibility

Thank you Bundle & Llama! I appreciate your positive words. Today is getting off to a good start also, thankfully!

What great news that this remains a quiet weekend, Lea. It sounds that things are evening out a bit. Are you now looking like a stunning young starlet with all the sun? Hoping this is a great week ahead with continued healing.

Praying all stays quiet going forward, Lea!

LOL@Alva.......I stay OUT of the sun myself, I'm very light skinned and prone to burn. I just had a melanoma surgically removed from my arm in March, actually, so no sun for ME. And my stunning young starlet days are long behind me now; I feel like I've aged 10 years in the past year or so. I'm grateful for all the support I HAVE gotten, though, and the love that I'm surrounded with. It does go a long way to healing BOTH of us along this journey. We have another woman here (the one who's DH has been in ICU for the past month) and her DD has been here with her the whole time too (since mid-March); this is her step-father who's had the transplant, and he grew her up since she was 9. The other DD is flying out next week, and the 3rd DD will come when the 2nd one leaves. She is very happy for the company & the support, too. We're hoping her DH gets moved to the regular floor and off of ICU SOON.

Thanks Barb, hoping the same; that everything stays quiet moving forward. This week's tests will tell. Getting him off the oral antibiotics seems to have settled his stomach and allowed him to EAT real FOOD, which is a big change from where we've been the past few weeks. It's very tricky for the docs to balance ALL these meds & figure out what's enough/too much, etc for each individual patient.

Lea: You're very welcome. Btw, a comment on the harshness of the sun - my dermatologist stated "the ghost look is in vogue." I, too, have a very fair complexion.