You have been through the pain of caregiving a loved one and they have passed. So as not to relive the recent pain of caregiving those last days, THIS THREAD IS FOR YOU. To express yourself; be supported by others who have lost their parent, spouse, friend, loved one. A caregiver's grieving and recovering post. If ever you just want to sign in without saying something, put three xxx or three ..., then click post, someone will know you were here, on your special thread, it's yours to say whatever you want. You can even honor your Mom's memory by posting about her.
So fast forward to Christmas Eve of last year. I was talking to my niece about Mom and she was telling me that she always felt that Grandma, my mom had a special connection to God. I agreed with her and I had just got through saying to my niece that "oh I'm sure mom's spirit is right here with us. Then I looked at the t.v. and on my sister's play list there was the song "You've got a Friend"
I just know that was a message from Mom. You know how you just know when it is. I just know.
So sorry.
Crying is really helpful and is an expected part of grief so do let the tears flow. Send is right. This is your life, your script and you alone can write the future, don't let what is past define you. now is the time to say Mum I loved you and I know you knew that and now I am going to live my life in a way that will make you proud of me.
there are times in our lives when we just have to amputate those who hurt us or who try to hurt us...better to live with one leg than to be infected by keeping the bad one! xxx Stay strong xxx
You have heard of the 5 stages of grief. Well, your family's stage will lie in the anger/denial stages for a long, long time.
The big lie takes a kernal of what looks like truth and twists it until the lie fits their conclusions. While it was too much to take on-somebody had to assist Mom and get her away from the neglect. You were there, Wisteach, it was hard, it became harder, but you were there! No one can realistically condemn you for that-so don't doubt yourself. Don't go there. Sorry you lost your Mom.
Here is a caregiver's love note to you, and everyone who put themselves out there, way out, to care for Mom.
We love you!
You bring all of your loving memories of your Mom right here to this thread, we all would Love to hear the stories of your time with her, and her amazing life! Don't listen to that garbage they are spewing, you know that you did the right thing! Your Dear Mom was at the end of her life, mad more comfortable by YOU! Never forget that! Eventually the pain does lessen, though it will take time. I'm sorry for your loss! You hang in there! HUGS!!!
If they can't handle it they can bugger off.
I hope you do bring up Mom and Dad, often,,Gershun, breaking the silence.
Maybe this is not such a good idea, afterall. I can hear the opposing views revving up their engines. That's okay too, just don't hate me.
It usually said of war but is equally true for abuse - Lest we ever forget. So talk on people and remember the past talk about it then let it go into wherever it needs to be - the golden album for constant review or the gutter to join the rest of the filth there xxxx
(unless you change it).
And today, my sibs and in-laws are all sending around emails with photos and memories of mom, Also got notes from cousins. I thank God for my Mom and for all of the caring relations who (3 years later) are still remembering.
I am still involved with MIL, but I wish all of us involved in these journies peace and appreciation for walking the final journey with those who are so special to us.