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@rural,
you make a fine point. i personally am not guilty of the hero complex. i severed a relationship with an old " friend " last week because she wouldnt help me with mom. i write to my sisters often asking them to visit to give mom some additional female companionship. a whole bunch of no - reply is what im getting back. i do honestly respect your opinion, its quite valid in some cases.
i s'pose im in favor of the current system of professionals reporting abusive situations but the next door neighbor probably cant manage his / her own problems and dont know s**t about the challenges of caring for dementia, alz, bipolar patients.
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ruralwannabe, are you suggesting that the doctor should go over to capnhardass's house to allow him to take a job and satisfy the APS folks? LOL. The "critics" in this case are outsiders with conflicting expectations.

And, yup, sometimes caregivers won't give up any of the responsibilities that could be delegated.

Now ... are you in favor of mandatory abuse reporting? :)
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capnhardass, yes, you can't be paying attention to two things at once full time. But if all are aware of that, there must be suggestions for a solution. Whoever is criticizing can just come on over and help. Sometimes, though, even though there is more work than can be done, caregivers won't give up any responsibilities. They would rather play the martyr while the patient suffers. We all have to leave our egos at the door and ask for (and accept) help sometimes.
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A helpline? Possibly. A bank reporting information on someone's account? Isn't that stepping over the line? Big Bro is alive and well and we need to be very careful about this. Just as elders crying wolf and falsely accusing someone of abuse, I've been through that nightmare, it can also be said for the other side.
I'm not really sure what the solution would be. We need to protect our elders. We also need to protect their caregivers and families. I, for one, consider privacy very important. Be careful what you wish for. In an attempt to help and protect, you can also ruin someone else's life. Very slippery slope, IMHO.
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i think the family doctor is the front line here if the doctor is worth his / her salt. a good doc can observe the interaction between carer and elder and see if impatience / frustration is present. we have an aps lady who keeps an eye on us and she thinks im the devil himself. i agree with jeanne, siblings and conclusion jumpers could cause a nightmare for nearly any caregiving situation. aps says i should be shouldering some of the bills here, doc says mom is to be attended 24 hrs a day. both mandates are conflicting and humanly impossible. my meager bills are a fraction of what AL or home care would cost. too many simpleminded people spew out simplistic " solutions ".
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yes, it should be mandatory, just as for children. Unfortunately not all signs of abuse are that visible as shrinking bank accounts. But what can you do.
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Requiring a health care worker or a teacher or a person who has some responsibility for the child or elder or vulnerable adult is one thing. Making reporting mandatory for private citizens who have no responsibility or training in recognizing abuse is another thing altogether, it seems to me. A public health campaign to make people aware of a confidential number they can call if they suspect abuse makes more sense to me than trying to mandate reporting by innocent bystanders, as it were.

Also there is the issue of false reporting, for devious reasons. Siblings are fighting over what should be done with mother's money. One notices a bruise on her arm and makes up a story about the other (who is caregiver) abusing her. Elders with dementia may not be able to give an accurate account. It's a real nightmare. I don't know whether "mandatory" reporting would have any impact on this or not.

If I saw abuse of a neighbor I would definitely report it. But I don't think most abuse happens where neighbors are apt to see it. And there would need to be a lot of "training" on what signs to look for. The whole first year my husband had dementia and was falling down regularly he had bruises all over him. He took blood thinners and the bruises were very colorful and noticeable. If some person not familiar with the situation had reported this as suspicious I'm sure I could have defended myself, with the doctors' support, but it would have been added stress to an already overwhelming situation. For that reason I would be reluctant to report possible abuse unless I saw it happen or knew a lot about the situation. Just seeing bruises, for example, would not prompt me to report it.

I don't know who in a large banking organization would be keeping track of what is going on in a modest individual account.

I would support a helpline. I would not support mandatory reporting except by those with professional responsibility.
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