I am devastated. My only solace is that she is with the LORD now. But I am really upset with my siblings as they did not take turns by her bedside - even though it was so clear that she was in her last days. They were not there as they went to do an errand - only one could have left my mom's side - but they all left - left her alone and several hours later she passed on.
What is hard for me is that I had sent an email out to my siblings as there are issues between siblings and they prefer not to see each other. I sent out an email to ask for schedules for mom's care (mind you, I am out of the country and was doing this via email and video conferencing) - so MOM would always have love near her as she progressed in her decline. And two of my siblings were very angry with me for asking them about time with mom. Now I realize - they didn't want to stay by her bedside. They did not want to be there when she took her last breath.
I feel guilty I was not there by her side. But I could not do so...
Oh, Mom, I will miss you dearly... and look forward to seeing you one day in heaven.
I want to say something about her being alone. I have read countless stories of people who were dying who have waited for their loved ones to be out of the room (even on a trip to the bathroom) to pass. For some reason the dying seem to look for these moments to pass so that they can spare the grief of watching them die. Even if your siblings had been there...she still may have waited till they were out of the room to pass. Think of this as her final kindness to your family. I say this because I was there when my mom passed, and while it was very peaceful and I was so lucky she didn't suffer...I can tell you that the image of her taking her final breath, and the physical changes to her body in the next minutes has been haunting me ever since. I literally am having flashbacks about it.
She loved you and your family. I hope you find peace. I haven't yet myself, but I know one day I will to.
Angel