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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Hello all and Msdiva. I'm new here and have been reading a lot of the posts on here. I have read your post on here of what your family had done to you and how you got vindication and the court ruled in your favor. You had stated that you took care of your father on your own with only help from your sons and a few outside your family.
First of all I want to give you kudos and props for providing the care your father needed for so long and not giving up on him... many these days do. When it gets to be to much most turn to the nursing homes or other facilities and then never look back. I don't have enough fingers or toes to count how many people I have cared for in those situations in my 25 years as a C.N.A.S. Many of them are lucky if they have family come visit during Thanksgiving or Christmas. Many of us that truly care about the people that are in our care, become like family to us. I have been "Adopted" by so many as a honorary "Granddaughter." There are many of us that believe that the men and women we care for as people and not just a meat sack of bones that has been discarded,or left for dead,no longer wanted or forgotten once they walk through our doors. They are mothers, fathers, and grandparents that for the most part have worked hard all their lives to raise and provide for their families.And are first and foremost human beings. They deserve to be treated with respect,dignity and honor. I could tell you horror stories about some of the treatment people have gotten in some of the nursing facilities I have worked for, the aides and yes even nurses and a couple of doctors. I reported them all. You don't abuse the people in your care, they are trusting you with their total care, and in some cases with their lives.I refused to work in places like that and would quit asap when I saw anyone mistreated.
I commend you on taking on the job as caretaker of your father, they don't get the credit and respect they deserve. It is very hard and at many times heart breaking, to see your loved go from the person they used to be to the frail,shell of a person they once were, no longer able to many of the simple things, or worse to slowly see their mind and all their life memories get robbed from them. You stated that you gave up 6 years of you life to care for him when no one would and that your family felt robbed of the money you got. Honey you more than deserved it! You stated that the money they said you took from them was $51,000... well we are going to do a little bit of math here. First you divide that $51,000 by the 6 years you put your life and the lives of your children on hold. which comes to $8500.00 per year.Then divide that by 26 weeks because the average home health aide or nurses's aide in a nursing home or hospital gets paid every 2 weeks, that comes down to $326.92 every 2 weeks or $163.46 per week. then divide that by 168 hours since being a caretaker is a 24/7 job not a 8 hr job like most aides work... that now becomes $ 1.95 per hr if you go with the pay of every 2 weeks or .97 if you go with a weekly pay period. Since most aides can earn up to $ 9.00 to $ 10..0 per hour based on their level of experience. Which would have cost your family... @ $9.00 per hour...$1440 per month or $1600.00 per month@ $10.00 per hour. in nursing care alone.And don't forget that most home health providers and nursing facilities tack on fees of their own. By taking on the mainly thankless job of caretaker you saved your father and family thousands of dollars in care costs. You more than deserved what you got... but you and your family got hidden benefits that most non caretakers never get... You got the satisfaction knowing that you gave your father the best care you could... you saved your father's income that would otherwise have gone to cover his care which was needed to cover the other necessities of life for him and your family. and two things that I think was very important was you were able to make memories for yourself, your father and your children that can never be taken away... your boys learned the valuable lessons of respect, responsibility, that family takes care of family and the value of human life. They got to learn how frail life can become, through your and your father's struggles they learned sorrow,strength, perseverance, compassion and empathy. Skills that should help them to get far in life. By seeing and helping you care for your father they learned by your example how to care for others, and how it isn't easy sometimes... it puts them at a level most their age will take years to learn. I hope that it inspires them to want more from life and strive to achieve any goals they set for themselves... because you taught and showed them that life can be a struggle at times, but as they go out in life they will remember those 6 years and be able use the skills they have learned.
msdiva, I wanted to let you know that the situation of relatives and siblings trying to sue the one who did the caretaking of their parent is so very very common. My mother had dementia, for several years before she passed away. a Heart Attack, a stroke and then a another fatal stroke. Shortly after she died I suffered a stroke. I received no help or support from any of the rest of the family. At a time when I was the most vulnerable I got threats from the rest of my family that they were going to sue me in probate court for supposedly mismanaging my parents money, because they claimed that was their "potential inheritance". A suit we leave me homeless. I prayed for God's help and protection and for a while the threats went away for a while. Now they have come back. The gratitude of taking care of their parent is astounding. Or is it vengeance and greed? I think I am going to have to go to court to get things settled. The insult to having to defend myself from my own siblings is beyond measure. I have come to believe that those siblings are not actually blood relatives. I have come to believe they were adopted from wolves.
Its good you were able to benefit from the shared experiences and advice given on this thread, but msdiva posted back in 2010, I doubt she is with us on this site anymore.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
First of all I want to give you kudos and props for providing the care your father needed for so long and not giving up on him... many these days do. When it gets to be to much most turn to the nursing homes or other facilities and then never look back. I don't have enough fingers or toes to count how many people I have cared for in those situations in my 25 years as a C.N.A.S. Many of them are lucky if they have family come visit during Thanksgiving or Christmas. Many of us that truly care about the people that are in our care, become like family to us. I have been "Adopted" by so many as a honorary "Granddaughter." There are many of us that believe that the men and women we care for as people and not just a meat sack of bones that has been discarded,or left for dead,no longer wanted or forgotten once they walk through our doors. They are mothers, fathers, and grandparents that for the most part have worked hard all their lives to raise and provide for their families.And are first and foremost human beings. They deserve to be treated with respect,dignity and honor. I could tell you horror stories about some of the treatment people have gotten in some of the nursing facilities I have worked for, the aides and yes even nurses and a couple of doctors. I reported them all. You don't abuse the people in your care, they are trusting you with their total care, and in some cases with their lives.I refused to work in places like that and would quit asap when I saw anyone mistreated.
I commend you on taking on the job as caretaker of your father, they don't get the credit and respect they deserve. It is very hard and at many times heart breaking, to see your loved go from the person they used to be to the frail,shell of a person they once were, no longer able to many of the simple things, or worse to slowly see their mind and all their life memories get robbed from them. You stated that you gave up 6 years of you life to care for him when no one would and that your family felt robbed of the money you got. Honey you more than deserved it!
You stated that the money they said you took from them was $51,000... well we are going to do a little bit of math here. First you divide that $51,000 by the 6 years you put your life and the lives of your children on hold. which comes to $8500.00 per year.Then divide that by 26 weeks because the average home health aide or nurses's aide in a nursing home or hospital gets paid every 2 weeks, that comes down to $326.92 every 2 weeks or $163.46 per week. then divide that by 168 hours since being a caretaker is a 24/7 job not a 8 hr job like most aides work... that now becomes $ 1.95 per hr if you go with the pay of every 2 weeks or .97 if you go with a weekly pay period. Since most aides can earn up to $ 9.00 to $ 10..0 per hour based on their level of experience. Which would have cost your family... @ $9.00 per hour...$1440 per month or $1600.00 per month@ $10.00 per hour. in nursing care alone.And don't forget that most home health providers and nursing facilities tack on fees of their own. By taking on the mainly thankless job of caretaker you saved your father and family thousands of dollars in care costs. You more than deserved what you got... but you and your family got hidden benefits that most non caretakers never get... You got the satisfaction knowing that you gave your father the best care you could... you saved your father's income that would otherwise have gone to cover his care which was needed to cover the other necessities of life for him and your family. and two things that I think was very important was you were able to make memories for yourself, your father and your children that can never be taken away... your boys learned the valuable lessons of respect, responsibility, that family takes care of family and the value of human life. They got to learn how frail life can become, through your and your father's struggles they learned sorrow,strength, perseverance, compassion and empathy. Skills that should help them to get far in life. By seeing and helping you care for your father they learned by your example how to care for others, and how it isn't easy sometimes... it puts them at a level most their age will take years to learn. I hope that it inspires them to want more from life and strive to achieve any goals they set for themselves... because you taught and showed them that life can be a struggle at times, but as they go out in life they will remember those 6 years and be able use the skills they have learned.
My mother had dementia, for several years before she passed away.
a Heart Attack, a stroke and then a another fatal stroke.
Shortly after she died I suffered a stroke.
I received no help or support from any of the rest of the family.
At a time when I was the most vulnerable I got threats from the rest of my family that they were going to sue me in probate court for supposedly mismanaging my parents money, because they claimed that was their "potential inheritance".
A suit we leave me homeless.
I prayed for God's help and protection and for a while the threats went away for a while.
Now they have come back.
The gratitude of taking care of their parent is astounding.
Or is it vengeance and greed?
I think I am going to have to go to court to get things settled.
The insult to having to defend myself from my own siblings is beyond measure.
I have come to believe that those siblings are not actually blood relatives.
I have come to believe they were adopted from wolves.