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Mom lives alone. She goes to the dining twice a day, participates in several activities such as bingo and attending concerts at the facility. Lately she complains about feeling so weak that she can't even walk. It feels like there's something new every day. I have 3 siblings, two are out of town but within an hour or two. We're just at our wit's end about how best to care for her.

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My Mom had her own doctor at her AL. The RN referred to him for any med changes. Unless your Moms contract says she must use their doctor, get her to a doctor for a physical. Or, get the AL doctor to examine her. As said, in home therapy can be ordered. Our legs do go as we get older. I would say, too, she may need a walker and the physical therapist can help with that. She will make sure Mom uses it correctly and its adjusted correctly.
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She is in a nice AL. She is well cared for and loved by her family who is nearby. All is well. Relax and enjoy your life.
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My mom is also 91 in AL and seems to be getting weaker band losing weight over the last year. She now uses her walker outside her room and a cane inside. She struggles so much now standing up from her chair but seriously, she’s getting weaker from lack of activity and thinner because food has less flavor so she eats less. It’s part of winding down. Unless the caretakers and nurse raise a concern, I wouldn’t be terribly worried. She’s taking part in activities and going to the dining room for meals - all good! Just keep encouraging her and maybe check with her doctor about an antidepressant. For my mom, having a regular bridge game and a boyfriend are what make her happy and keep her mood up. But if she loses either of those, it will be trouble for me because she will start complaining and grousing nonstop.
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Try to focus on the positives. She is fortunate to be in AL at her age and not somewhere that requires a much higher level of care. Her willingness to dine with others and participate in activities is wonderful.

I agree with others regarding her recent difficulty and having it assessed. Over the course of a number of years my late mother was in 2 different AL facilities because we all made a major move to another state. The second facility allowed residents to reside on the first level if they were in a wheelchair. That was also determined by not requiring alot of additional care. Perhaps this is something you could inquire about if her problems with walking remain.

It sounds as though you and your siblings are compatible with her needs. You aren't an only child nor does it seem there are conflicts between all of you regarding her care. More blessings if that is indeed the case. Hoping the situation evolves to the best solution possible for all of you.
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First I would ask the staff if they have seen a decline. If so then schedule an MD appt to address the cause and get physical therapy involved. After her therapy ends if she doesn’t improve then you may need to look into a higher level of care. If she is found to be stable by the doctor them maybe she is depressed and that issue has to be addressed.I just went through that with my 93 y/o M-I-L and she has now been placed in a nursing home.
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I’m sorry you all are so worried! I care for my 94 1/2 year old dad in my home, and I know it can be one thing after another! With this new weakness, I would definitely recommend having her evaluated by the doctor. I know that UTIs can manifest with fatigue and even cognitive issues (they do with my dad). And the less our aged parents do because of this, they quickly become deconditioned and feel weaker and have less stamina.

She sounds like she is doing so well! I would be thrilled if my dad participated in anything like she is doing—remaining engaged and active. You guys are doing great, keeping close tabs and taking care of her!
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She's 91 years old, so you are expecting way too much.

She's doing GREAT, going for 2 meals a day, playing Bingo and going to concerts. When she complains, it's just small talk. She may need a walker or scooter to zip around in.

In her AL, she is being cared for, fed and kept safe every day. You and your siblings have no worries at all. How can you be "at your wit's end" how to care for her? She is being taken care of by medical professionals. She is eating, getting around and participating in activities. You all should be thrilled and proud of her success, and should tell her so!

Be glad she isn't calling you daily crying, refusing to bathe, is bedridden, or tries to get you to bring her to your home to live! None of you should be upset at all.

For being 91, that is truly amazing! Ask at the facility if she needs an evaluation for her new symptom of "weakness?" Or something to assist her mobility?
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As others have said your mom needs a new evaluation by her doctor to see if she needs a higher level of care or if she is complaining about things that are not true or if she needs PT or OT. Years ago my mom called me and said, "Well, I'm blind." She was in fact lying. This week she went to the eye doctor and he noticed a major change in vision and was not able to get her new glasses and recommended she go back to her eye specialist. She didn't even want to tell me about it! She likes to complain much more if it's embellishing or flat out lying. If she is really sick, she downplays if often. Thankfully your mom is in a facility where she can participate in activities and make friends if she wants to. Yes, she may try to guilt you, just as other moms will do, but take it with a grain of salt. My mom told me today how bored she was with nothing to do this week. This past week I scheduled her a hair appointment (which she may have skipped), an eye doctor appointment and she went and got her nails done in the activity room. She loves to share how miserable she is, but then she goes and has fun and tries to keep it from me, lol.
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Yes, get your mother a full medical evaluation. She may have something temporary, or she may need physical therapy, which the staff can set up. Or she may need to transfer to a wheelchair or scooter. Some patients expect doctors to be mind-readers and figure out what is wrong with them without giving any details, so be prepared to press her to be honest. (And yes, some complain to children for sympathy or attention.)
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PS....be aware it's common for elders to exaggerate and or complain to their children constantly about their ailments while in AL, yet when they see the doctor, nothing can be found that's medically wrong with them.
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Have a meeting with the director or her care team at the assisted living community. They may no longer be able to provide the care she needs. You can try providing a wheelchair or motorized scooter (if they're allowed) to help her get around independently. If she has trouble with that, she is going to need a higher level of care, such as a skilled nursing facility. Tour a few without her first. You'll find out they're not all so bad as they're made out to be.
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Gosh be grateful that your mom doesn't live alone and is surrounded by lots of caring folks in her facility.
If your mom is now requiring more care than the assisted living facility can provide it may be time to have her moved to a skilled nursing facility. You may want to talk to the doctor at her facility to see what they think is now best for her.
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Your mother lives not "alone" but surrounded by peers, aides, nurses and doctors who come in to visit the residents in AL all the time. Call the nurse in charge and get mom set up to see the house doctor for an evaluation. That's the purpose of her being in AL, is to enable her to ask for and get help as she needs it. Meds too, ordered by the doctor she sees at the AL who orders them for direct delivery to the AL. Hopefully you've got mom set up for the medication to be dispensed to her daily by the staff.

Tell mom to pull the cord by her bed or in the bathroom (some ALs have call buttons worn by residents around their necks as pendants) when she needs help or feels sick.

Good luck to you.
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