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My next door neighbors both died in their 70s.
My neighbor down the street got kicked out by his brothers after dad went to care. Rumor is he is in the famous slab city homeless camp.
My neighbor across the street told dh today that the guy two doors down that they played football with died. He was 61. his mother is still here. She’s in her late 80s.
The whole pattern is just so sad.

The mom of the latest man to die nearby came by wearing a twa sweatshirt. She had been a twa stewardess once upon a time and fit in the shirt 50 years later. Theres at least family around.
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I had a convo with my personal banker that shook me. He has done everything correctly in his life. And yet he is living in an adu in his moms backyard and paying 2 grand on it and she’s only in Her fifties and there’s some brother around with substance abuse issues. It wasn’t like this guy was a confessor or pusillanimous h nature so much that in my employment, my job always included getting people to share facts with me, too. His trajectory should have meant he had a house with a wife and baby but nope. And so, it is ill mannered, ti say the least, to assume this age group will be out not to do that, but actual physical labor for strangers fir free.
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All of my good friends and some of the guys I knew are mainly deceased with the exception of a few that are still living. My niece died this past March 2026, alone in her apartment. She was POA to my sister. I told her to give up that POA three years ago. I knew my sister, and I know that she could be stubborn and a real snake in the grass at times. My sister is still living at eighty six years of age in a nursing home. Niece died at sixty six. The autopsy revealed a stroke and heart attack as the cause of death.
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@burnt, the next four years until Medicare is what I have to plan for, and it’s scary as hell. I don’t know how long he can continue installing refrigerators and getting on 20 ft ladders without supervision.
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@JoAnn

No, it's my generation (Gen X) that are the first who on average will not live longer than their parents or even as long. We are also the first generation to have less than our parents did and we have to work a lot harder and earn a lot more just to have the basic homelife they did. In my generation it's almost unheard of to find women who have kids and don't work outside the home. My generation could never afford multiple kids on one income. The Boomers could and did.

I'm 53 years old and so many of my friends are dead. All of them from cancer. Homelessness is not uncommon with us either as so many are one pay check away from eviction and losing our health insurance. Among my generation very few will be retiring at 65. We will have to work until the grave.
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Joann, that’s why there’s Medicare advantage. Both mil and sil are on it. A couple hundred bucks is their monthly contribution. When fil’s stroke precluded him driving mil to output chemo, the care plan shifted to get her 10 free hospital stays, five days each. Of course she liked that better even though due to the pandemic visits were limited. Fil himself had 15 hospitalizations there. They and especially he was a frequent flyer. Hospital staff even knew his view preferences. It’s a really nice new hospital. I’d love to be able to go there for free on demand for paying a measly 200 bucks a month. This particular MA plan paid for fil’s rehab twice and even offered it to mil between cancer treatments but all she wanted was fil and the cat.
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I read a while back that the baby boomer generation will not live as long as the previous generation. I am 76 and I see it now, classmates passing away. My daughters 41 and 49 are losing classmates long before me. When they see and obit of a classmate, first thing out of their mouth...drugs. Why, processed foods, obessity, drinking and drugging. Our lifestyles when we were young affect us when we get older. The previous generation had to work. Ate better.

Peggy Sue "And then she had the nerve to ask me what’d happen if I myself am cardiac or stroke crippled before the age 66 deadline At which the federal government finally takes responsibility."  You think Medicare will take care of all your healthcare bills? It only pays 80% of what they feel is reasonable. Then you have to pay for a suppliment to pay the 20%. And the doctor has to except Medicare. When looking for an encronologist for Mom, most did not take Medicare. I found 1 who did and had to travel 30 min for him. Doctors don't have to take Medicare. My Mom was in rehab that cost her $150 a day at the time. Her supplimental did not pick up the 50% after the 20 days. She was in 30 days and had to pay over $1000. If for some reason, she would have been in rehab the whole 100 days allowed, it would have cost her 12k.
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Hi rosered6. As I mentioned,I’ve been meeting with advisors who seem confident I can make enough on assets under management to pay for non catastrophic expenses. There apparently is enough in some account dh mom manages to take care of any catastrophic whatever after I informed her I could not do it. The worst would actually be me becoming a cardiac cripple before an inheritance event as that’s the once scenario that could drain the principal.
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So, my brother-in-law died before his parents because he was a bad person? JK! He was wonderful. He had a healthy lifestyle and was a good son and husband and father and person and then he developed cancer.
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Fawnby,
My neighbor grew pot. He has had a handicapped daughter and his mother enough to qualify for it being legal. He’d do road trips to states where it wasn’t so legal. Idk if he was into the rest of what you say.

However, it’s not like the parents generation was completely squeaky clean EITHER. One of dh’s earliest memories is him accompanying his dad to some pot deal where daddy just tells him to start running and not look. By 12, dh and his brother were growing on the roof.
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Drug use is rampant and accepted in our culture today. And, in referring to drugs, I include alcohol and tobacco. Our elders certainly had alcohol and tobacco, but most didn't start using marijuana, cocaine, inhalants, fentanyl, meth, heroin and other potent recreational drugs in their teens - even early teens - like they do now. Their brains are still developing, and they are harming them with all the chemicals they ingest in the name of "having fun," or "just being a kid," etc. etc. ad nauseam.

Drug education doesn't seem to help. Parental guidance, when it exists, is ignored by kids who should know better. It's a sad state of affairs. We have the capability to survive childhood illnesses through medical care, but we are poisoning ourselves with drugs so that many people die young anyway. Our elders, who never used the pot, the cocaine, blah blah blah, can sometimes live into their 100s. Their children and grandchildren, who drank and smoked and toked and have been through unsuccessful rehab multiple times, may not survive to take care of them. Or they may be so addled through loss of brain cells that they're alive but can't manage such a difficult project as caregiving the previous generation.

Then what?
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We ran into the mother of the last neighbor who died. He’s still about 100 miles away. One of his kids lives over in their house.

i hugged her and said I was so sorry she’d lost a child. I cant think of anything worse. She sighed wanly and said he was only the second one. He had a brother who passed in the mid 2950s.

Just so sad.
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Well, there really is minimal tension over who gets exactly what in the end. It’s all about getting my assets ready to support myself and dh at least to Medicare age. It’s a bigger deal for us than for mil and sil who are now old enough to qualify.

Four years. It’s like the longest yard.
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I'm sorry that the tension about money matters in your family continues, PeggySue2020.
There are situations in which a very old adult has more money and other assets than do the VOA's children, and this can make a difference in health, well-being, and length of life. My mom could afford to self-pay for her assisted-living facility, where she spent the final 2 1/2 years of her life. My siblings and I all have health insurance and, relatively speaking, we are doing well financially either while retired (older sibs) or still working (me and younger sib). But none of us likely will have enough money to live comfortably into our late 90s (mom was almost 98 when she died last month), and our children's finances are shakier, not through any fault of theirs.
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Exactly that. And it may have been a fantasy considering that he had no car. Most ppl living there at least have that.
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Salton Sea,= Slab City?
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I have nice talks with financial advisors in these next two weeks about how everything I have with them should go to dh. The first one is in a couple hours. His 81 yo mother is and has been just thrilled peachy keen about that. However, when I called her to clarify that if he’s the cardiac cripple first, I simply donot have the funds to cover this. She apparently inherited some account from dh’s paternal grandmother that pays for medical as part of this 8 mil or so estate. I mean, at least she is stating he would be covered. She and he are all acting like he’s 16 and it really is up to mommy. This irritates me, but it’s his biz.

And then she had the nerve to ask me what’d happen if I myself am cardiac or stroke crippled before the age 66 deadline At which the federal government finally takes responsibility. I’d go broke, mil. The house would be sold to take care of me. Oh god, now you’re sniveling and upset. My own mom meanwhile is upset that I am no longer willing to leave everything to my 8 figure sisters amd their progeny.

whatever. I’m 62. It will be a slog to make it to 66. With Medicare, I assume it will then be easy peasy street.
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What do you think is the cause of this?
Could it be the elders are more experienced in life?
Or more conservative lifestyle?
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It's always sad when children die before their parents.
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