I am caring for my 93 year old mother in my home! Every day I say I'm going to be more patient, but everyday I find I'm short with her about something. She has a history ever since I can remember of being vey sensitive to any kind of discomfort. All discomfort is a 10 on the pain scale so it's hard to know what is really bad. Her comfort has always been of the utmost importance. She goes from whinning to acting like she's enduring her discomfort to whinning, everything hurts, no strength, have had to ease her to the floor 5 times in a week and if no one is here I have to call 911 to get her up off the floor. It makes me so frustrated.
I'm glad every day is not like today. I finally had to tell her to leave me alone this evening. I felt bad doing that, but also knew that I had been pushed to the point. Even the most docile pet will react if you poke it with a stick enough times. I didn't have an ounce of patience left in me.
It's sad seeing our parent(s) this way.... and as we were growing up and wanting to go out in the world, I doubt that our parent(s) were thinking "ah, some day I hope he/she becomes a Caregiver with no life of their own".
We get some trolls here who come in doing what you did and make their wall private, which you did. They tell us little of themselves, then talk to try to stir trouble. If that is what you are doing, you need a new course in life. If it's not, then start a thread to talk about taking care of your father. We know nothing about him or you.
My parents were professional people who always had their life planned out, and I assume they would have had the where for all to plan into their later years. So I didn't pay attention as they always took care of themselves.
For me, I thought when you became real elderly and couldn't care for yourself at home, that you moved into a place that would take really good care of you. Even now I am so surprised how many people have to take care of their parents either in their own home or in their parent(s) home.
Let's have some compassion for those of us who are having difficulty in doing caregiving.... not every can be a caregiver, just like not everyone can be brain surgeon, a teacher, a farmer, a police officer, etc.
We are at our greatest when we are turned outward, and our smallest when we are turned inward and focusing on ourselves. It seems to me, at least, that many of the posters really resent the fact they are in caregiver role. My advice is to cross that line and see the world through the eyes of the elderly, not your own eyes. Seriously, they need you. My final comment on this topic is, as Zig Ziglar has said, 'People need love the most, when they deserve it the least." Take your parents into your heart, or admit it is beyond you and hire someone who can. But please, for your own good and the good of your parents, stop this 'why me' business. It helps no one. - Thom Reid
And no, I'm not going away. You go away if you can't face your own shortcomings. Look in the mirror, my friend. It starts and ends with you. Help your parents wether you like them or not. You owe it to them. They did it for you, no matter how inconvenient it is. You wouldn't believe what I've been through with my parents. And it's none of your business. So don't give me your BS about how hard you have it and how nobody understands. Feeling sorry for yourself never really works. I tried once. Now I take responsibility for the quality of my own experience. R-E-S-P-O-N-C-B-I-T-Y. Look it up...
With your heavy handiness way of posting, is there an underline issue that you don't wish to discuss but still want to vent?
You claim to have "infinite" patience with your parents. But you exhibit none for your fellow caregivers. What a pity.