I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
I continue by saying that my father's roommate is a nasty nasty SOB and he does not have dementia, so no free pass. You should hear how he speaks to the nurses. He is a miserable human being. I hunted down the nurse and finally found her taking care of my father's SOB roommate.
I had no expectation that the nurse had to drop everything to take care of my father but I told her while she was in there that the plates needed to go back on which she said she would do when she was done. But the roommate seemed to think I wanted her to leave and started yelling at me. I all said that this needed to be addressed.
Anyway just before I left I went into my father's room to check how his room was. And of course roommate started to rip me a new one. And instead of keeping quiet and just leaving I started yelling right back. Pretty much told him who the f he thought he was talking to anyone this way. Called him a nasty miserable human being and just yelled right back.
It was bad. The head nursing came running in and had to break it up. I told her told her what she already knows but could not agree with, that the guy is a mean sadistic nasty piece of work. I have managed to keep on his good side for almost a year but today I lost it with him. No one, but no one, gets to talk to me this way.
I went back to the sitting room and the nurse stopped in to talk to me and I told her I am considering moving my father to another room. She said that was my right to do and the only thing she could do was make sure the what happened with the feet plates does not happen again. It's true, this never would have happened if they were on the chair. But as I said to her, if it wasn't this situation it would be something else. But I don't know if moving him is a good thing. He's been in that room for 2.5 years.
Dad was happy to be moved to a quieter room with a very nice considerate room mate who realized Dad was dying .
If this roommate doesn't have dementia, why is he sharing a room with your father who does? The NH should not have put them together and it's good that you're having your father moved to a different room as he should be.
Good for you giving it back to that guy. Even when they have dementia, there's nothing wrong with letting someone know you will not tolerate nasty, abusive behavior. The nurse doesn't have to take it either and should not. If this guy is that bad, he needs to be in a different kind of facility where his behavior can be dealt with.
That must of been so upset to deal with! 💕💕
Here we got up to 25C (77F) which is one of the warmer temps here this summer.
On the plus side , rain coming tomorrow followed by more moderate temps .
I also just saw the Farmer’s almanac is predicting a cool Autumn this year in my area. I hope they are right . Some recent years it seems to stay summer too long .
Way - hope your plants have survived and you got rain,
My whine is that Rocky digs the dirt out of her little garden on the balcony that I made in an old roasting pan so I have to sweep. My only recourse is to keep it very wet. Then she doesn't dig, but I haven't managed to keep it that way. 🐈
The attorney sent a botched up the letter to the nursing home. Instead of asking for my father's PRI, he asked them for my mother's. I pointed out to him that she's been dead for 14 months now. I asked that he correct this, and did not hear anything back. Not one damn word.
I already paid for his services, otherwise I would hire another attorney. Real shoddy work. It makes him and me look like idiots. I know a paralegal sent out the email and form letter but there should be some sort of oversight.
Just more stress and anxiety. I'm so tired of dealing with my father's crap. I wish he was gone already. It would be a relief. I don't need this.
Unfortunately, there are not many professionals anymore and shoddy work is the norm across all industries. Sad times for America and the future.
Mother would NOT engage with this a year ago. Oh the tears... both M & D.. I said let's do that another day & quietly completed it to her known values out of sight.
Then it was updated when D was very ill. She wanted everything - Full resus, all tubes, all treatments.. so she could survive & look after him. Now he is a memory in our hearts 💙 & I have to complete that d@%n form again.
I have to decide.. to use the long & firmly held values & wishes my prior Mother had (do no harm, nothing futile, nothing painful, let nature take it's course) or the newer ideas of this new version of Mother, whatever they are on that day! 😑
Guess I will need to broach the subject.. tbc
Your wisdom rings true - no need to have distressing conversations.
Form done (out of sight). No need for future revisions.
As I mentioned in my other post, Alva and Golden are wise persons.
I like to whine about weather!
We are having cold summer!
The Northeast feels like Florida this year , including the freaky rain storms and humidity .
Please send some warmer weather here.
Golden,
True, some mornings I sat on balcony wearing sweater.
But then we are not having many fires. Unfortunately too many all over Canada.
beatty - glad the trip perked your dh up and he feels better. Around 25C (78F) is lovely. I wouldn't like the storm season either.
eba -I love sitting on the balcony. I'm going to need a blanket around me soon. So thankful for not as many wildfires here as last years and little smoke. The east is really suffering with them.
Daisy - wondering how you are. Hope the smoke is not too bad.
I don't know why this is a whine, but I passed my driver's medical so I'm good for another 2 years. I guess it would have been if I hadn't. 😊
I was over there earlier for my "shift" as usual and the air was full of anxiety over the arrival time of the dog, how many toys are out, where he's going to sleep etc etc. I went grocery shopping, got home, blew up at my husband over other issues. Just got a frantic call from my mother saying "I need you to come over here" bc she has diarrhea and the dog is there but she needs my father to give her some immodium thru her tube but dad needs to take the dog out so he can go and she's "not going to make it thru this..."
I said I don't understand why you need me there. The dog will sit there while dad gives you the pills right? Takes two minutes. The dog will hold it until he's done then Dad will take him out back. The dog is not a toddler he's not going to wander off and fall and bump his head. I'm sure my father's got her all worked up about the effing dog. She did calm down a bit once I reasoned her thru it.
Like what did she think was going to happen. It's gonna be a long night for them but I am NOT going back over there. She can call her psych nurse if she's having an anxiety attack. I absolutely HATE feeling this way about it and feel heartless but I'm not doing it.
Well this is the LAST dog sitting episode for them (they used to watch him quite often). I feel bad about not going over there but also I don't. It would have been ridiculous. By the time I get there (8 minutes) the pills will be given and the dog will have done his business.
Also they settled down. Got a text from mom later saying she felt much better.
I don't/won't run over there the way I used to for this things that don't need me or can wait. It's the emotional turmoil I need to work on next. Although.... The spat I'd just had with the hubster put me at an emotional disadvantage!! So actually. I prevailed (as Mrs. Russell might say! Gilded Age lol I'm obsessed. Just finished Season 2)
I remember years ago when I was upset about someone's behaviour who was very much acting as they usually did, and mother said to me, "What do you expect?" Despite her problems there were times when she was right on the mark.
I thought about it and realized I should expect that kind of behaviour from that person = acceptance of how they were. From then on it got easier. When that person did upsetting things. I accepted it better and was less bothered by it.