I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
She's had some wicked bad falls. One resulted in a chipped tooth and permanent mark on her shin where she hit it (not a scar, more like a dead tissue area). The worst fall she's taken was when Dad was in the hospital just before he passed away. I was up in the room with Dad, answering questions from the doctor, knowing Mom was waiting for me to come get her from the parking lot with a wheelchair, but I couldn't get away fast enough, and she tried to walk in on her own. Big mistake. She made it as far as the sidewalk ramp, and her steam just ran out - she couldn't lift her feet anymore and caught her shoe on the *very* small incline on the ramp and fell flat on her face. She completely avulsed her toenail from the nail bed, banged both knees hard on the concrete, and worst of all, slammed her face right down on the concrete. She almost broke her nose, scraped her face up, blackened both eyes and had a huge lump on her forehead.
I swear, I need to wrap her in bubble wrap.
I swallowed my pride and *some* of my anger at my ex and called and left him a voice mail asking him again to allow my youngest son to come visit me here. I assured him that: 1) YES, son will come back to live with him after his visit - he will not be staying here; 2) Son will be with me 24/7, so no opportunity for him to get into trouble (he thinks I will "let" him get into trouble); 3) he will not have to even lift a finger or spend a dime for son to come up here - I will come get him and bring him back myself. Reminded him that our son has family up here that hasn't seen him in 2 years now, because I haven't been allowed to bring him back up here due to older son's shenanigans, which my ex blames me for. Guess I'll wait and see what his response is tomorrow....if he bothers to call. He likes to conveniently "forget" to call me.
I just pray she dosnt suffer and goes peacefully in her sleep. I dont feel she has much time left as her will went along time ago. So sad. all i can do is never end up like this and enjoy life no matter what it takes!
Susan your mum sounds like mine just happy to sit and watch TV all day and night and be served meals all day! Ive given up trying to get her out and about much as she just dosnt want to go? they say the home is thier "comfort zone" its where they feel most safe so i dont push her anymore as i know my old mum would have gone anywhere as she loved getting out and about. Yeh have to push her a bit to get some "vitamin D" on her bones shes better this year than last year and is doing a bit of gardening? well? making a huge mess in the garden but im done caring ill clear it all up in the fall? as long as shes outside i dont care.
Its so hard to watch this as they are so young gosh i hope to God i am travelling at this age and having fun life really is short!
Mom's best friend will turn 75 in a couple of weeks, and just goes, goes, goes! She's on a plane to see her daughter in another state, then she's babysitting her great-grandkids, then she's off on a road trip to a friend's wedding, and she is employed part-time as a "classroom grandma" at a local elementary school. My mom, by contrast, sits here in the house day after day, and only goes out if I take her somewhere...she can no longer drive because she can't get herself in and out of the vehicle - so her independence is completely gone. She couldn't do the classroom grandma thing, because she requires too much assistance with her mobility, and her patience for dealing with young children is also gone - she doesn't tolerate them very well for longer periods of time. She won't even go outside to sit on the deck in the sunshine unless I push her to do so. She is completely happy just sitting here vegetating in the house - which is why I push her to do more - go outside, walk up and down the wheelchair ramp at least once a day to keep her legs moving, just get herself moving a bit and get out of that darn chair now and then!
My sister and her friend are minimizing contacting me about dad. They did take dad to the assisted living place he is moving into tomorrow and asked what if he doesn't like it there? But he probably doesnt remember
saying that . I am sure I will get all the details later today when back home.
Sodonewithsal. POD took me all day to work out but I think it is "post op day #2"
What is Pod #2? It has a sci-fi sound to it.
Kazzaa, MIL just turned 81. Apparently if you make it that far, you'll live d*mn near forever. If she were to fall down the stairs and break her neck tonight, I'd not only do a hula, I'd twerk like a crazy woman.
Mom's memory is pretty bad today. She's forgotten how to leave a message on an answering machine (looking at me blankly with the phone in her hand when my sister's voice mail picked up, saying, "It's (sis)....what do I do?" - as though someone were on the other end talking to her, when in fact, it was my sister's voice mail greeting playing. It completely confused her. She's asked me what day it is several times. When talking to my sister on the phone (she called back), Mom tried to tell her how we got stuck in the woods on our vacation while trying to get to the lake - and she left out several important details - so I'm pretty sure older sis now thinks I took Mom out to the woods to dump her off and leave her. (That one was actually pretty humorous to listen to from this end of the conversation...) She's neglected going to the bathroom to the point of having accidents, so I've started reminding her again, which she hates. She gets irritated at me when I do that.
These days are not coming all that close together right now, but when they do, it's very disconcerting. Looks very much like the early stages of age-related dementia, and also very much like what happened with my grandmother (Mom's mother). She was fine living alone, going out with "her ladies" for lunch, and doing all her own housework and driving. Then slowly, things started slipping. First it was the driving (Mom's not driving anymore now), then it was the toilet habits (again, Mom's already there), and then it was the memory - not remembering her pills or forgetting to get dressed, etc. (Mom is definitely entering that territory). I hate this.
We have another trip coming up soon. I need to visit my youngest son, whom I only get to see once a year, because his father won't make the trip to bring him to see me, nor will he let me have him for the summer (he blames me for our older ADULT son's bad choices in life, and thinks I will "let" our youngest get into trouble if he's up here with me...gee...thanks for making me feel like parent of the year, buddy...). Because I can't rely on anyone else to check on Mom or stay here with her, and I can't leave her alone, she has to go with me. That means 11+ hours of driving with stops to get mom out of the van, onto her scooter or into her wheelchair to make restroom stops (hoping she doesn't have an accident requiring a clothing change), get the dog out for his potty break, then back on the road....staying in a more expensive vacation rental than originally planned so that it's easier for her to navigate and has a shower instead of a tub...and taking her everywhere with me down there.
I'm glad she's going with me, and that she'll get to see my son - because who knows if she will ever get to make this trip again. Next year could bring all sorts of things, given her current situation. I hope she'll still be in good enough shape to make the trip again, but ....?? I'm SO worried about this trip...
Mom turned 74 today. As hard as this part of her life is to watch, and as hard as it is on me, I hope she sees 75...and longer.
How old is she? does she have any other health issues apart from ALs?
I would love to see that "HULA".
Yes its times like this you really feel you are on your own! My other bro rang as usual thankgod at least he gives a crap!
She's always been this way. Always. Dementia is just making it worse. If there was a way to divorce an in-law, I'd do it in a second and never talk to her again. Then I'd throw myself a big party and do a hula dance to celebrate.
Oh dear cant cope with this now as hoilday next week and ive never been away from him that long but my sis is here and shes been warned to look after him OR else.
Breaks your heart when your little pet is in pain!! id probably be a basket case if i was a mother!!! but hes my baby!!
If you can *see* the stinger sticking out, take something with a flat edge, like a credit card, and gently scrape across the top of the sting to try and get the stinger out - DO NOT squeeze the site of the sting or the stinger itself - you will inject more venom into the wound.
I have teatree oil wipes that i cleaned his head with? its a bump that seems swollen so a bit worried?
I know if its a person you could take the sting out? any animal experts there like Ashlynne?
We are all here for you and i know its time for me to move on with this i cannot live like this im miserable and NO mum would never want that for me.
Hugs this will be hard for us all but its the right thing to do for all concerned i dont want to end up resenting mum because even a 47 i feel my life is over sometimes.
I am so excited about Spain next week but nervous aswell as one sniff of freedom will just make me more determined when i get back to have my life back again i have to get back to being me ive lost a bit of weight but its not easy when theres nothing to look forward to at the weekends i need to get out more and get fit but comfort eating is a big part of this job if youve no other outlets!
Hugs we will be with you every step!! God sounds awful but its like inmates keeping in touch when they "get out" of jail!!