I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Then she says "oh I should die ". That's not the point. The point is that she makes me feel worse by never asking my siblings to help me out or give me a break!!!!!! She always says "well they work." And what do I do with her? Play?? I wish! I get so angry that we always have to be the ones
changing our lives for her and she never does anything to try and help herself and us....it's not fair and I really felt like hitching about it (can I say that?)
I cant wait to have a date itll be like a teenagers first kiss? or a fkin disaster?
Im going to spain to let my hair down i am going to dance with strangers and be romanced i hope! I am going to ask a man out if i have to yeh lifes too short! God help the first guy that looks my way! no i hate being single i need an escape from this life be so nice to have a man to date and swtich off from dementia although most men ive gone out with before had "issues". Yeh am taking no more crap from men you got issues then fck off lifes too short. Yes i love the freedom of being single but 5yrs is along time. If i dont get out there now and date im going to end up a mad cat lady!!
My mums stroller arrived last week we havnt gone out yet but its got wheels and a seat so fingers crossed!
Susan i know its hard and a worry but i have after a stroke from worrying about her learnt to just do as much as we can with them now as the end is in sight i think Jessiebelle or someone said to me here once months ago when i was in a bad way with worry that to enjoy your time something is going to happen a fall or worse its going to happen so we cant avoid it but worrying is not going to help you just try like i had to for my own mental health to do what you can and if she falls she falls you cant be on safety alert all the time it will drive you crazy and make you ill. I know how you are feeling mum is getting worse too and its the scariest thing to watch she walks so slow its frightening. I am just waiting for the day when she will no longer walk and that will be the beginning of the end BUT im prepared i do my best and somewhere in there is my mum and she knows i love her and ive tried to do my best. I speak with my bro every night and we are prepared for the worst my other siblings are not and its them i feel sorry for because their denial is going to ruin thier time with her.
I dont want mum in a NH none of us do but look its going to happen at some stage and it will be when youve no other choice and her care is just too much for you.
Go on that trip she may be fine with the stroller if she falls she falls we cannot live like this worrying too much prepare for things to happen and just enjoy every last minute.
Mum is impossible right now but her memory for things is fine i can imagine how scary it is when she dosnt remember half an hour ago. Mum just talks about the past ALOT? shes very quiet lately but not depressed just in her world but i know shes worried about something so hopefully the doc will help on Friday? Mum was never one to talk about her feelings shes a tough nut to crack and puts up a defence which is more worrying as she suffers in silence.
This is hard and i just wish mum was at peace i hope to God i never see this get much worse but i need to wake up a bit it is going to get worse and i just need to be prepared and do what i can.
Hugs as i know how youre feeling its the scariest time of our lives but its life it happens to us all we will be alot stronger people after this thats for sure!
Mom is just not doing very well. Her memory is getting worse and worse. Today, she was talking about the cat we've had for 10 months, and asked me, "How did we come to have the cat, again?" 2 hours later, she commented on how nice of a cat he was, given that he was a stray when we got him, and how nicely he'd plumped up, because he was so skinny when we got him. For the first 24 hours after we got home, she was talking about the trip and how much she enjoyed it. Today, not a word about the trip at all, which is unlike her - when she is excited or happy about something, she'll bring it up for days on end. So the memory issues are definitely coming and going, but they're becoming more prevalent now.
The potty accidents are getting worse, too - her back hurts, so she doesn't want to move from a comfortable position once she finds one, and waits too long to go. Then, she struggles to stand up, because her back hurts, and the strain of standing causes her bladder to let go. Washed sheets twice yesterday, once today because of this.
She's extremely unsteady on her feet and leans on everything to get from point A to point B - like from her chair to her bed and her bed to the bathroom. At this point, a fall in the near future is almost inevitable - I'm trying very hard to prevent it, but it's almost a given that it's going to happen at some point, and I don't think it's going to be long. Very, very worried about the 2nd vacation trip later this year - it's a longer drive than the last one, and the vacation rental I found is somewhat handicap accessible, but I'm concerned about the distance from the bedroom to the bathroom - unless she wakes me up or I stay up all night to help her to the bathroom, there's a fall risk right there. She doesn't do very well with a walker, but I'm going to look at getting one anyway, one of the wheeled ones with a seat...something...anything to keep her somewhat mobile.
These episodes are increasing in frequency and it's really worrying....she doesn't want to go into a NH and I don't want her to, until it becomes absolutely necessary...and we can't afford home care or a health aide either. Struggling with this one a bit.
I'll have cheese with my whine for the day... my Mom likes the store brand of reduced fat 2% milk shredded cheese... well, the store changed the colors on the bag and now my Mom thinks I bought the wrong cheese, even though it is identical inside to what she had been using.... she says it taste funny... Mom, it's the same cheese... she shakes her head *no*.... then I compared word for word the old bag with the new bag, same thing.... she still wasn't convinced.
I know elders have problems with change, but for crying out loud, we are talking cheese !!!
Took Mommie Dearest to the dentist, 4km away, last Thursday. Call from the NH this afternoon that she was complaining the relined dentures hurt. As there was little or no dental care in the UK long ago my mother went to hospital and had all her teeth yanked in her late 20s as they were rotten..
Dentist last week said relined but after 60 years of dentures her jaw bones had worn away and there was nothing much left to support dentures. I guess she wears those that hurt or a spare pair that flap.
Explained that to the woman who called from the NH and they will start mincing her food. I'm dreading my next visit as it will be all about we have to go somewhere else, there has to be someone to fix this. Yep, in a perfect world but we don't live in a perfect world sweetie pie, we do the best we can with what we have but that's never been good enough for Madam..
I'm considering talking to the social worker, Sharon,,let her deal with it and stay away. For the past few weeks my mother is obsessed with Sharon tells her there are 200 nursing homes in the previous small city she lived in and all are much better so she plans to go see them, choose, book a room and move. It doesn't work that way sunshine but she won't listen to me. I wonder when Sharon is going to take her to view and choose? lol
CM I love animals and have had rescues life long. Currently I have 4 cats, all from dubious backgrounds, the oldest 14+, along with a miniature pinscher x jack russell terrorist, inherited from my mother, and an old black lab girl who came from rescue last year. I support and sometimes drive transport for local rescues and when my renos are done I may adopt another old one (old myself I don't want to leave anyone behind)..
CM my old lab girl, Ashy, is a prissy - hates getting wet or dirty. Gotta love her.
And when you take the shopping back to their place, then Fido 'accidentally' sneaks into the house too and you get fired for selective incompetence. Result!
Do you like dogs, at all?
Ref the sudden influx of flies, are you sure something hasn't crawled under the foundations and died? Did you get, like, zillions of them in a really short space of time? I don't want to go into details but if it was like that then there could be an ex-mouse (eek!) or similar R.I.P.ing in a quiet corner somewhere. Although all you would find now would be a bare skeleton. Let's not think about it too deeply.
Only draw back to my Jeep, my parents would expect me to run to the grocery store for them, in the middle of a blizzard, because I have four wheel drive.
CM, Oregon has an Aging Agency that does the very same thing. Come out to visit or call, tell you about all the "help" they have to offer, ask all their questions, check off their boxes and .... they seem to vanish. They called 2 weeks ago, said mom qualified for 6 hours of in home care a week. haven't heard a peep from them since. I'd love 6 hours a week. Heck, I will even pay for additional hours!! Anyway, it's lovely they offer so much help and support, it would be even lovelier if they actually followed through.
This house was built in the mid 60's. Apparently my ball of flies have awoken from their winter nap. I don't recall South Florida flies being as sneaky and aggressive as these flies. It has nothing to do with the cleanliness of your house, pets or whatever.... they are everywhere and in everyone's house. Fly swatter's are sold at every store, gas station or quicky stop!! LOL
Thank GOD for my GPS! LOL, I'd be a lost person without mine. It's so bad that when I go into the bigger cities, to the same place I've been many times, I don't remember how to get there without using it. Perhaps I rely on it a bit too much :)
Gonna be 97 here today... I don't think we'll be doing too many strenuous activities aside from floating in my blow up pool drinking my Mike's Hard Lemonade
CM I am right with you about the GPS. hubby at least has found a way to turn the woman off. I would rather use a map and write the route in big letters taped to the dashboard. he says he can't find his way anywhere without it these days. As far as back up cameras go no way nor how they are just confusing. One thing i do love though is a heated seat. my new car - thrify me brought a new car - probably the last car I will own and it did not have one. But guess what on a trip to the thrift store I found one you could plug in and that works just as well and only cost $5
Takes one to know one, I suppose.
But the reason I resent giving this girl my time is that she is the FOURTH person in a row who has turned up here offering "help and support" by which they mean suggesting who *else* might do some helping and supporting. So we trot through the options - not applicable, not applicable, not applicable, over mother's dead cold body, not applicable - and then they go away with their check boxes duly checked. And I am how, in what way, any further forward?
"They *mean* well, darling…" Humph.
"No, I've got an iPhone, " she said.
When I reported this to her (doctor) father he said "tsk! In my day we just had two tin cans and a length of string…"
Oh curse those GPS voices, curse them! Other Half was an early adopter: we once spent a merry half hour driving up the highway with the d*mn woman saying every 30 seconds "Turn around at the next available exit. Turn around… Turn around…" I wasn't allowed to touch it (possibly because OH suspected, correctly, that I'd have chucked it out the window) and he couldn't remember how to turn it off.
Captain I too love the single life ... no fuss, no drama and do as you please, when you please.
Guess that is why I still drive and love my 18 year old Jeep.... it still looks as good as when it rolled off the showroom floor... and it has most of the bells and whistles of today's cars.... what is missing the backup camera, but heck I can turn around and look out the back window.... and missing is the talking GPS.... I can read a map and talk, so no big deal :)
My parents [in their 90's] were teens during the Great Depression so they both taught me well about being frugal and not to try to keep up with the Jones.
Kazzaa – my dad also won’t give anyone POA over him. He ain’t stupid.
Susan – You… You are a much better person than me! I would have lost it when I saw how the painting was incomplete, etc.. You have Patience, woman!! {{Hugs}}
FreqFlyer - shook my head as I read of your cat’s neighborhood friends.
Looloo – Your mom is sooo sneaky! I recommend you read more threads here on AC. I tell you I’ve read some strange and ingenious things they can do!
Jeanette – I can’t stand flies. They are so smart. They find their way inside the tied plastic bag into the food, or find their way into the microwave to get at the food. Sis says our flies are much smarter than the flies at her home.
Cap I am far from bankrupt. Where and why did you get this from? I was asking about flies in my house. I could be OCD clean and they are still here.'
I dislike the buzzing.
I will say it again I am here for my mom who is in 6th stage AD
Flies...ick. On our vacation to the wilds of the U.P. last week, we dealt with one of the worst mosquito seasons ever. Even the locals were running for cover and the stores couldn't keep bug spray on the shelves. We were thankful that for most of the week, the stiff breezes kept them at bay - but those last two hot, humid days of the week were horrible. I could barely take the dog out to do his business without him running for the motel room door to get back in!
Noting is wrong with being frugal.... it's CHEAP. When i was working...man oh man i miss my job, anywhoo., the lady who has worked there for 35 years told me that two words do not belong. Cheap and broke. To this day I say Inexpensive or I don't quite have enough.... We are who we are.
Hey, I set up my pup tent outside. Too hot to sleep inside No, I am far from afraid to sleep outside. So much cooler and I get a peaceful sleep (she can't find me)
Oh, my dog Daphne (13) has no use for cookies. Not from strangers or the vet. She will not indulge in stupid human tricks.
most females ive had contact with in the last couple of years were bankrupt , nearly homeless but still smoking 5 . 50 a pack name brand cigarettes . maybe theyd do good to look more closely at my frugal lifestyle ..
that wasnt a generalization or exaggeration. that is fact in the case of 5 girls out of 5 ..