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Good news though sisters are back from paradise! AND im off next week so for once ill be relaxing when my sister is here cleaning up after mum!!!! CANT WAIT!!
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Yes thier loss Sallie! Mum has seen a shrink and her geriatrician in last 2wks and NOTHING from 2 sisters and brother down the road?? I will tell them nothing! maybe a phone call when shes passed away? but im not sure that ill even bother then.

Yes its times like this you really feel you are on your own! My other bro rang as usual thankgod at least he gives a crap!
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My whine moment? Narcissist MIL has another 9.1 years to live, according to the actuarial statistics for a woman her age. I looked it up and felt a stab of horror. That will mean a total of forty years of my putting up with her sneakiness, lies, triangulation and fake crying when she's confronted with having done something awful, like telling everyone she meets that I'm looped out of my mind on Vicodin all the time. Not true, although visits with her would be much pleasanter if it were.
She's always been this way. Always. Dementia is just making it worse. If there was a way to divorce an in-law, I'd do it in a second and never talk to her again. Then I'd throw myself a big party and do a hula dance to celebrate.
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Sallie that's so sad but it's their loss. Other than my mother in the NH who's pretty much out of it, I have no family so any holiday it's just me and my dogs but I'm good with that. My fur girls, Sue and Ashy, are my family.
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Had a great night with some good friends. We had a drink or two and watched the fireworks. The only whine I have us another holiday without any siblings paying attention to mom. I'm having a little get together tomorrow with mom,hubby,son and daughter so my son and mom can meet my daughter's boyfriend. Should be a nice time.
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Dadshelper you will still have parents, they have gone to a better place and are together again. My mom often asks about whether her folks are still alive. My answer changes depending on where I think she is. But she often gets upset when I tell her that they would be 114 years old. And she cries about not having parents any more. I assure her that she still has parents, just not here any longer.
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To all of you who have posted today..4th of July....there will be other holidays to celebrate. I too don't celebrate any as I take care of my 85 yr old COPD Dad who can't walk far anymore so he stays home while I get groceries. Docs told me this is not a good time to find a job..sucks! I need freedom however he is on his way to heaven in the next few months so I will stick it out. No other relatives have offered to help so it's me..I'm fine with that now that it's been a year. I have been bitchy too not know how his disease was progressing and we finally got on Hospice and that shed a ton of light on what is happening. Hang in there everyone because one day they will be gone and you will miss them...trust me...I am already worrying about how my life will be when Dad isn't here anymore. It will be a relief but strange, very strange as he is my Dad and with losing Mom 21 yrs ago I will have no parents or grandparents. Thank God for kids & friends...Loves to all.
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Good for you susan! i hate touching anyones feet too and also hate my feet being touched so far havnt had to do mums feet yet? UGH couldnt be a "chiropodist" all those bad feet yuk! they deserve every penny they get!!
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Susan so happy for your nose!! my mum was up dressed,washed,make-up hair brushed WTF yeh trip to doc part of the act!!
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I know what you mean, Daughter52 - we were on vacation last week, so Mom has been in "recuperation" mode all this week - meaning taking more pain pills than normal (but still within her recommended dosage) and sleeping all the time. I've been mentioning the shower every day, but every day, she resists it. I've just left it alone if she resists, because I know her back hurts from getting in & out of the van all last week, and sleeping on a different bed. But today was the final straw - I finally told her, "Ok - shower time." - no excuses or "oh I don't feel like it". She actually showered and I cut her toenails (ick. I *hate* touching other people's feet) and soaked her feet in a tea tree/peppermint oil and epsom salt solution and gave them a scrub with a brush to start working on the horrendous fungus she has on her feet. So she's all clean and happy and I'm all grossed out. lol
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Ha ha ha...SusanA43. I always have to suggest the shower/shampoo thing for mom. If I didn't she would never. I always get "the look" too when I mention it.
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Hallelujah! Mom finally showered today after nearly a week!
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No whine today about mum had a great day in fact WHY? because she had to act at the docs today and is totally wiped out now!! shes gone to bed!!! ME TIME!!
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thanks susan i googled bee sting and no it cant be that as it was 2 days ago? so no his breathing is ok no swelling so i cleaned it again with teatree oil wipes and green puss came out seems to be drying up now but hes fine a bit depressed but eating ok i think he was attacked by cat as his nose is a little scratched. Poor little pet i think the fly just scared him as flies always pick on wounds. So far so good hes asleep now but am watching him just in case. Teatree oil is great and seems to have drawn out the infection but i will take him to vet if wound dosnt heal!

Oh dear cant cope with this now as hoilday next week and ive never been away from him that long but my sis is here and shes been warned to look after him OR else.

Breaks your heart when your little pet is in pain!! id probably be a basket case if i was a mother!!! but hes my baby!!
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Kazzaa - keep a close eye on your cat. If he seems to be having difficulty breathing AT ALL, take him to the vet. I would be more worried about an allergic reaction than an infection. Most likely, he will be fine, but keep a close eye on him for the next 24 hours. If he is going to have a reaction, it will happen relatively quickly.

If you can *see* the stinger sticking out, take something with a flat edge, like a credit card, and gently scrape across the top of the sting to try and get the stinger out - DO NOT squeeze the site of the sting or the stinger itself - you will inject more venom into the wound.
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Big whine today!! Does anyone know if i should take my cat to vet?? i thought he was attacked by another cat but now i think maybe it was a bee sting as when he was eating a fly was buzzing around him and he ran upstairs and hid under my bed?? Hes eating ok and going out BUT im worried the sting may cause infection or worse? is there anything i can do in the meantime as really dont have money for vet but will go if i need to.

I have teatree oil wipes that i cleaned his head with? its a bump that seems swollen so a bit worried?

I know if its a person you could take the sting out? any animal experts there like Ashlynne?
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somedaysmile im with you! my friend got angry with me last night and said get her fkin name down for NH now her mum had als and she said your mum is getting worse everyweek so it could take six months to get her in there.
We are all here for you and i know its time for me to move on with this i cannot live like this im miserable and NO mum would never want that for me.

Hugs this will be hard for us all but its the right thing to do for all concerned i dont want to end up resenting mum because even a 47 i feel my life is over sometimes.

I am so excited about Spain next week but nervous aswell as one sniff of freedom will just make me more determined when i get back to have my life back again i have to get back to being me ive lost a bit of weight but its not easy when theres nothing to look forward to at the weekends i need to get out more and get fit but comfort eating is a big part of this job if youve no other outlets!

Hugs we will be with you every step!! God sounds awful but its like inmates keeping in touch when they "get out" of jail!!
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I do the flag cake for the 4th (usually, probably not this year) this way:

Sliced pre-made pound cake layered in a long casserole dish
Top sliced cake with crushed berries (crush earlier in the day and add a bit of sugar or sweetener to bring out the juice - it soaks into the cake - yum!)
Top berries with Cool Whip or other whipped topping
Slice whole strawberries in half lengthwise and lay them in rows across the top of the cake like flag stripes. Add blueberries in the upper left corner as the "blue field with stars" (the bit of white whipped topping showing through the blueberries looks like stars).

It's always a hit. No baking, no huge mess to clean up. Make it a few hours ahead of your event to allow the flavors to blend.
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Veronica; Go to store; buy a pound cake. Get a can on whipped cream. Frost cake with whipped cream. You can use maraschino cherries, strawberries, whatever for red and some blueberries for blue if you're so inclined.
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Yesterday afternoon, completely out of the blue, I caught a stomach bug! Was up most of the night. Yuck. Better now, but not much interest in 4th of July food. Well, my taste buds are! But my tummy is saying not to :)
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Veronica91, any baking turns into a science project that turns bad. I am already stressed out, I would be a basket case if I had to try baking my own cake :(
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freqflyer you don't have to be Martha Stewart to buy a pack of cake mix and some readymade frosting. So back to the grocery store and do what you can. A yellow or white cake mix from Betty Crocker or Duncan Himes will do the trick along with a foil disposable cake pan if you don't own one
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My 4th of July whine.... went to 2 grocery stores trying to find a nice red, white & blue cake or cupcakes that my parents could easily eat.... would have loved to have found a nice white cake with red/white/blue frosting and none of those sprinkles or stars which are too hard in texture for my parents [who are in their 90's] to eat. Everything I saw had those hard candy sprinkles/stars. Came home empty handed. Martha Stewart is am I not, so baking it myself is out of the question :(
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I was thinking the same thing, Somedaysmile and Susan. It can be sad to read the despair others are feeling, probably because it makes us more aware of our own.
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Somedaysmile - keep us posted. Please take care of yourself. You're doing the right thing for both your mom and for yourself.
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Kazz yes I got the needle in my foot ,calf,hand and arm. Yes it was a needle but not at all bad. all done in the name of ruling out nasty diseases like lou gehrics. Dr seems satisfied now so it's on to PT to build up my strength to see if that helps. most of it is old age and O/A
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JessieBelle; me too. Alone with sleepy mom and everyone is out having fun .... It sucks. I'm thinking I'll start walking tomorrow. I've gained weight watching mom and feeding her fatty foods. Tomorrow I think I'll start taking care of myself like I use to. I'm going to visit a NH or two and begin to make plans to place mom somewhere besides with me. I'm going to take myself to lunch and ask around to people about job ops. My real mom would not want me to suffer anymore. I have to do this before winter because I get really depressed in January thru March. I truly believe I will become an alcoholic if I wait much longer. I just can't watch my mother sleep all the time and lose her mind any more. I've read all these posts and I feel bad for us all. But I love my kids too. And my grandkids. They miss me. Mom calls me by different names now. I don't think she will remember me once she is in a home where they can take care of her w/o my resentment and huffing at her. I'm getting hatefull and I don't think mom desires that either. I want to be a daughter not her tired grouchy boss. I'll let you all know how it goes.... I'm done.
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Oh glad! my brother and my mums friend play along with her which i find really annoying and get mad with them!

Mums aleep and im drunk!! had a GOOD night with friend and a few laughs!! mums seeing geriatrician tomorrow GULP i know shes going to actout her best performance yet? so worried i hope he has some answers!! Hugs deep breaths!! wine,crack,maryjane whatever it takes!!
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OK my whine, consider my blood curling scream uploaded!l

Started as soon as I picked mom up from her day program. She thought she had been locked up or some such. Got home, she starts on this with her hubby, he tells her yes he called the President to have her sprung! So, naturally, this continued for a couple of hours, until a neighbor parked his car on the street outside out dining room window. Then it became she needed to get the license plate number because they were casing the joint. And hubby played into that as well. I sure don't need that kind of help.

While Mom is going through the getting out, sissy calls, she asks sissy how she got out. From there the conversation turned to, I think, moving Mom because Mom asked how much it cost. Just one thing after another, just got her in bed, hope she stays there.
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Susan you are not a worthless parent and stuff him! the more i get of men the more i love my CAT!!!!!!! No offence Captn!
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