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Assandache - you are so right. I used to just suck it up when my boss would chew me out for something - not anymore. And this is NOT my boss - he is my client - something I think he's forgotten. I can fire him anytime I want (provided I've got other work lined up to replace his) - I think he's forgotten the relationship is not that of an employer and employee.
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Thanks, Veronica -

I've never let him know that I need his business, but he's very aware of how the freelancing game works, and he knows that a long-term, weekly gig at a decent flat rate is a rare thing to come by - but he also knows my skill set and that he's getting a bargain at the rate I'm charging him. So it's kind of a balancing act. He ticks me off now and then and I get really irritated and think about dropping him, and then realize that I really need to get my ducks in a row and more work lined up if I'm going to do that....so it remains status quo.

This is the first time that he pushed me to the point of seeking other work with my other clients to fill in his work space - if one or more of them offers enough work to keep me busy long-term - enough to replace his work completely or close to it - I'll drop him like a hot rock and not look back. He can go back to using overseas contractors, paying $3 an hour and getting results worth exactly that - $3 an hour.
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LadeeM noooooo! Ugh, if it's not one thing it's another..
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Phanna I don't think you should let her return home.. I know she may realllly want to but she is much safer where she is..
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Susan it used to be some much easier to kiss butt when we were young and stupid!
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My whine moment of the day - am the eldest of 5 children (2 girls, 3 boys) - my mom was recently placed in a nursing home (my decision) I only had 30 minutes to find a place because the doctor discharged her from a rehab facility and she could not go home. I have dual POA, and no help from any of my siblings. I had heard more excuses than I could ever imagine, so even though I live 3 hours away, I make weekly trips to visit my mom, handle all of her personal, financial and medical affairs, and try to maintain working 40 hours a week because I live alone, and live from check to check.
This past week my mom has been calling me relentlessly saying that she just wants to go home and die, cannot walk or move her legs, and is totally helpless. I worked with the staff and her physician over the weekend, and discovered that my mother has been playing me like a fiddle. She can move her legs, and she can walk with a walker but has been acting out when I come around so that I will feel sorry for her and bring her home. I can't afford to quit my job, and I can't trust anyone else to really be there to help. I have had family members not show up for scheduled times they were going to help or bring her to dr visits, or just not show up at all when it was their turn to help out. I feel as though I have been used both ways, and I am just disgusted with the whole situation. I know my mother has bouts of dementia, is extremely overweight and just too darn lazy to help herself. Why should I have to be the one to take responsibility for everything? Is anyone else dealing with anything like this?
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Yesterday and today.... got home from work at 7 am, the freezer door was open and the floor was soaked... old fridge.... now broken fridge.... later, I leave for work, my car is full of FLIES..... looked like something from Steven King....the lady next door does NOT pick up the dog poop,,, no explanation needed here I hope..... I go to work, in the middle of the night... it starts raining.... uh oh, my window is down in the car.... long story short, a black plastic bag on the door , couldn't get the window up... in the pouring rain.... earlier this morning... I hear an unusual noise... go to check on L..... she is setting beside her bed on a TRASH CAN!!!! A plastic one.... that was the noise I heard.... the cracking of the plastic..... she will NOT let me help her up.... thank God she didn't pee in it.... but I think that was her intention...... so ya, I'm whining.. hope the whole week is not like this.... haven't had a drink in almost 30 years, but am considering it.....
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PS Susan and never let your clients know how desperate you are for their business, even if the cupboard is bare. they will screw you every time.
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A sweet email to his boss saying you perform work as instructed not what your crystal ball tells you to do
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oookkayyyy...I have to let loose a major whine here, or I'm going to explode. And it's not even caregiver-related, but I hope that's ok.

Why is it even remotely acceptable for someone to dump their mistake on me, when it wasn't even close to being my fault?? Not caregiving related - work related. One of my clients screwed up and blamed it on me, so now HIS client is emailing me directly and wanting to know why something wasn't done, and saying how things always go to sh*t when the boss leaves the work in someone else's hands when he's on vacation.

You have got to be kidding me.

I've been working with this client for over 2 years now, and he's pulled some shady stuff before, acting like something was my mistake when it was his, but this is the first time he actually came right out and blamed me for something when it was completely his fault. I am SO close to firing him as a client right now. The only reason I don't is that I need the income he provides - and he knows it. But there's only so much crap I will put up with - and being falsely accused of screwing up his work is definitely on my NO FREAKING WAY list.
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Sometimes I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't get on here and whine once in a while....I'm still so dang angry...sorry about the ugly words earlier...but I just can't believe how unthoughtful these people are....my brother can look at me and see how dog tired I am...I look horrible. People used to tell me I didn't look my age...now when they say it it is for the totally opposite reason...and it is like my hair has gone from blonde to gray so fast during all this...that may not be the reason but I can almost feel my body breaking down ....Lord knows I can see it happening...oh well, at least they all went for a sunset cruise Saturday evening and a nice cookout.... #:*@$&*#
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Get em girl!!... This is where "they don't get it" comes into play. THEY DON"T.

Quick to forget, quick to judge, quick to ignore is my new word for siblings.
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Hope the mother probably doesn't want to be around the kid either.
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Hope nor should you have to
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And I will add that after sitting and waiting all day long I was already worn out anyway and had just about lost any desire, or ability to go anywhere...I am so angry that once again someone who doesn't have to do one d*mn thing to help me just gets a free pass....d*mn it!!!!!!!
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Where the heck did the weekend go???? Sundays are the ONLY day I get to POSSIBLY leave the house at all ....my brother comes by for a short while...I usually never know when he's coming so if I am not ready to roll when he arrives I am usually out of luck. This weekend, I made sure I was ready to go and was...sat here most of the day then got a text late that afternoon letting me know he was getting the property secured and they were about to head back home (they have a palatial lakefront home..part of which used to be mine...another story for later) and he would drop by on the way..ok...still ready to go....he gets here much much later...and brings his grandaughter with him (by marriage)....which immediately means they won't be staying long...before they got in I was so angry I could feel the tears backing up.....they came in got in about a forty minute visit and were on the way back to their 2nd lakefront home in another city....great...thank you very much...and to make matters worse, the 14 yo grandaughter is at a place where she is very backtalking, very know it all and every comment I made when just trying to have a nice conversation with my brother had to have a remark made belittling what I had said, or trying to make what I said sound ignorant....I came a gnats knee shy of slapping the crap out of somebody yesterday...I am going to have a "chat" over this out of the presence of this child....GOING FORWARD...I EXPECT to have a break and he can sit here and leave that spoiled brat kid at home...she could have easily gone on with the wife...who never comes here anyway...and as ugly as it is for me to say, I don't have the fortitude to deal with a smart mouthed back talking teenager anymore....
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Jessie, Oh, I'm not tough at all. I feel like an abused little kid sometimes. I told the cops that Dad was using them to bully me. They made him go to my brother's. I was soooo embarrassed! I HATE drama in the front yard. It was like we were on Jerry Springer, or something! Such trashy dirty laundry being aired! Thanks for listening. blou
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This morning I had to call 911 for my significant other [68], he had fallen and had some type of seizure, he passed out and I couldn't wake him up... scared me to death.... I was shaking like a leaf. The paramedics were great as it was tough convincing my S/O it would be in his best interest to go to the hospital, he went. Earlier in the week he had hurt his back and apparently he mixed too many pain and muscle relaxer pills. He doesn't remember what happened.

Later this evening I will call my parents [92 and 96] what happened.... hopefully it will sink in with them that neither I nor my S/O will be able to help them as much as we use to, they still live in their single family home.... maybe now I need to have their groceries delivered to their door whether they like paying the delivery fee or not.
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j had neighbors like your parents. he was 92 and she a bit younger but was fltying high on dementia.. i used to see him high in the branches of the apple tree. he finally decided they should move to assisted living and the day came for the move. they were all set and he called me and asked me to help him as she could not get in the car. I got her in the car and later learned she went directly to the hospital and later into the nursing home. He managed a little while in the aparment before he joined her
I don't know what your dad will do but don't expect them to move anytime soon. I guess the garden will just have to manage without mulch
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Veronica91, regarding my Dad and mulch.... it's been a rough year with Dad constantly asking my S/O and me to drive him to Home Depot for mulch. We can't do it any more, that ship has sailed, never to return.

By not helping Dad with all these heavy chores we are trying to get him to realize that maybe it is time for he and Mom to move to a retirement community, there is one in their area that is like living at a 5-star resort. Dad liked the brochure and said "it would be a nice place in a couple of years".... couple of years????.... HELLO, you are 92 and 96.

Therefore, if my Dad wants mulch, he will have to do the calling and PAY for the delivery charge. I am not going to spoil him, otherwise he might take advantage.
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oh my, we're just terrible, awful people, aren't we? LOL We have to laugh about these things, though...or we'd cry. You have to laugh at it sometimes to relieve the stress. I'm so, so, SO thankful for this site, where we can come to chat, rant and rave, scream and cry, and commiserate with others going through the same thing we are - because no one else truly understands. Not even our own families.

Thank you for being there for me - each and every one of you!
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My mother is very "old school" about her hair. Will only have it washed and set once a week at salon. Doesn't matter how sweaty she gets I better not let her hair get wet when she gets a shower.I have always thought this was so nasty but she has always been this way. Even when younger and she worked out in the yard would bath but not the hair,phew! Hopefully I will get lucky and she will never make a mess bad enough for a hose but I am already thinking how long a hose would I need to get it to reach to the bathroom?LOL
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Does letting them walk right into the sprinklers after telling them 15 times to please not go over there or you'll get wet, count?

I'm watching her purposely drop cheerios on the floor for the dog....
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OMG...on top of that, the dog just decided to have some nasty gas....and to release it in my general direction. My eyes are watering.......
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Yup, daughter52 - TODAY. I couldn't pry Mom out of the house this morning to go to breakfast with the family, which also meant she wasn't going to shower. I look forward to our Sunday breakfasts, because it's the only day I can guarantee she will shower, because she knows we're going out. Today she dug her heels in and refused both going out and showering. Will try again later, but for now, I have all the doors and windows open and scented candles on the candle warmers - not that the odor doesn't still reach around smack me in the face from time to time when she moves just right or the air current brings the odor back in front of me. Ick.
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Ok...I'm gonna say this out loud and after having said it I will feel better. Does anyone ever feel like they want to just squirt their parent with a hose sometimes? I know it's bad, I won't really ever do it, but I think it sometimes. Whew!
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After catching up on all the "whines", especially the DIAL UP and poo poo's mine doesn't seem so bad. hehe... dial up? Really? I didn't realize that even existed anymore?

So.... just realized mom has been using the big dog food bag as the garbage disposal. When scooping dog food out ... up came parts of every meal she had yesterday. Makes me wonder if she's found another sneaky way to FEED MY DOGS!! Seriously...
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Don't feel bad sylvera, thankfully my mother loves my husband's cooking. I messed up jello to give you an idea about my cooking skills.
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This morning I made my Ninny some oatmeal. It's not the kind she is used to having (larger flakes) and it got a little soggy because she spent so long in the bathroom after getting up (this was the second batch I made, too; I had to give my husband the first because she spent 45+ minutes in the washroom). I served it to her and she stared blankly at it.

"What's this?"
"It's oatmeal - your favourite!"
A skeptical look. "Really?"
I bite down my frustration and give her a big smile. "Yeah!"
She shakes her head in disbelief and pokes at it with her spoon. In the flattest, most unimpressed tone: "Oh. Okay."
She ate the whole bowl without complaint, so I guess it couldn't have been that bad. Ouch, though.
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That's what makes it so funny/sad,my husband isn't the one I take care of its my mother. When he takes out his hearing aid and eyeglasses off for the night he is deaf and blind, and because of the dog food we feed the feces actually don't have a smell at first, he has sleep apnea and wears a mask and a lot of the time his nose is stopped up.Also we have 8 dogs in the house,2 of which are my mothers, we buy a lot of doggy pee pads which they do use,now if I can just get my husband to quit using them LOL!
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