I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Oh, I agree with you about the medical profession and prescription medicine. I found out the hard way that I cannot tolerate medicine made by certain manufacturers because I am hypersensitive to the *fillers* they use in the making of the pill to make it large enough to handle or *fillers* they use to bind the ingredients together. It's all trial and error whenever I am prescribed new medicine. I just found out last year that my Mom has the same problem. Turns out there was one manufacturer we both could use without any problem :)
Dial-up is ok if you live in a small populated area, but we live in huge metro area. I told him when he is using dial-up in our area, it's like he is peddling a tricycle trying to merge on the super information highway where everyone else is going 200 miles per hour.
Dad doesn't want to spend the money.... [sigh].... I know some will say for me to pay for his internet but I won't because he's worth 10x more than my net worth and can easily afford it.
It would make his life so much better.... he can order whatever he wants from Home Depot and have it delivered to his home.... same with any store.... here one can even order groceries and have it delivered. Oh how that would simplify my life :)
Applying the Three C's and trying to blow it off.
I'm sorry your having a hard time with your kids.. You're probably right that it's time for a little distance.. They'll call eventually they always do! LOL
Anyhooo...my whine: Daughter called to talk to me and I was telling her about conversation with older son, and she made an offhand remark, "Oh, I guess I'll expect a call from him to rant about you, then." - then she proceeded to tell me that any time I get on him about something, he calls her to vent about it. Nice. Thanks for making me feel like absolute crap. Think my phone calls will be few and far between for a while - I think some distance is definitely needed, at least for my own peace of mind. Definitely needing the 3 C's today.
That covers my whine..... hate that shit.
I UNDERSTAND that she is bored sometimes (which she swore to me yesterday she doesn't get bored). BUT....Heare I come home from the grocery store and notice she hasn't eaten her lunch yet (it's in the fridge). She's eating crackers and asking me where her peanuts are (She goes through peanuts like toilet paper). I tell her to eat her lunch first. Then I proceed to set up the house for the afternoon's heat (90's today) by turning on fans, drawing shades, etc. and go in my room to relax for a bit. Since I was up late and rose early I am feeling kinda sleepy. So in this brief quiet moment, I lay down on my bed with my fan on. I have my book on my lap thinking I'll read a bit but I drift off instead. I wake an hour later (I never take long naps) and I hear the house noise is quiet so I figure she must have gone in her room to nap. I pick up my book, there are bird noises outside--house feels peaceful. I start to read and I hear her come out of her room. Mind you, her bedroom door is adjacent to mine, and I hear her go to back door (which is also near my room ) and do "something", mumble some negative thought out loud---as she does often---and walk back to the other room. Disruptive as it was, I breathe, ignore and go back to my book.
Now I may be imagining things but I SWEAR--she starts this grunting sound as she passes my door. I don't hear her do it when she gets in her room though. I roll my eyes and, again, go back to my book. A moment later, she comes back out of her bedroom door and out loud comes this huge 'moan/groan/sigh' --just like her mother used to do. This, of course, is her bored, hate life moan. Then the grunting (all by my door). I try to go back to my reading but she has ruined the peaceful moment.
Even......EVEN if I were to go out there and be available to talk it would be the same old conversations that I have come to know .....i.e. "Who was your father or who was I married to? What did your father die of? I sure wish I knew about golf when I was young. Do you have any interest in playing golf "....and the like. It's the same stuff over and over and over and over again. Makes it hard to converse. Even if I bring up and interesting subject she will always respond with, The weather sure is lovely---you couldn't ask for better weather".
Such is a typical day.
Two more "wines" today and please let this Monday just slip away to Tuesday.
Yesterday I used my brothers cell phone cuz mine doesn't get reception in the boonies. I was sending my oldest brother a text telling him we were there. Saw another text from my SIL whom lives far far away with the anointed. She takes my texts, sends them to my brothers here and say's i'm losing it but no one asked me to do this for mom so it's all my fault. Yes they did my dad asked me. I get very angry in regards to those long distance back seat no nothings who do zero but criticize.
2nd wine.... mom just came out of the bathroom, she was very agitated and was fumbling around trying to open the door to go into the back yard. Upon further inspection of her bathroom..... she missed the toilet by at least 5 feet. Did manage to hit the drawers and the floor. Nope. Not pee.
Good thing I just bought a jumbo pack of Lysol Wipe Up's.
There comes a time when you have to consider at least assisted living or a nursing home, for both your sakes, where there is professional care 24/7. I cared for my mother in her home for four years - gave up my home and career (after tax $250,000 salary lost) to live in her freezing basement at her beck and call 24/7 and spent every few days at the ER until she had the final big fall and went to a nursing home.
Life long she's been an evil, manipulative narcissist, still thinks she can lay in her bed and people will run after her but she's discovering that's not the case. She made no effort to associate with anyone (unless there was something in it for her), and she has no friends.
She will not associate with anyone in the NH, just lays in bed and expects people to run to her. Not happening! I've been telling her for 15 years since my dad died, go do, but nope, I am supposed to be her source of entertainment. I pay her bills, take care of her needs but she's been the mother from hell my whole life.
She never lifted a manicured finger to help her 80+ parents, though she lived around the corner but, when, reminded, she says "Oh, I regret that" - yeah she was too busy going on cruises and living the high life. Didn't help them any did it
Bottom line, you need to put the person you care for into care, your sake and theirs.
I love this site and all of the wonderful caregivers :))
Can you get Mom a body pillow? Wal Mart has them for around $10. It's just enough of a barrier to stop her from rolling over it and off the bed, unless she's extremely determined or rolls violently. They're about 2.5-3' long and would extend down the side of the bed by the wall to keep her from rolling out. Bed rails would also help.
Not sure if moving the bed against the wall is a good idea or not. It will make it double difficult to change the lines and keep her nice n tidy. Maybe I can find some bed rails for that side?
On a side/funny note. I did find a lot of her missing things carefully tucked/hidden away on the far side of her bed under the mattress. LOL no wonder she think's I'm taking her "stuff". It was a goldmine of goodies!! Also I noted several of her patches stuck inside the bed frame. She normally never messes with her meds but lately even seems to be changing.
Somehow I need to push moms 800 lb bed up against the wall...she fell or just plain got up and out on the wrong side, fell between the wall and bed. About 18 inches of space. Didn't call out, didn't knock knock knock like she usually does...actually, I think she fell asleep because she had all the covers and a blanket on top of her. Took me 30 minutes to get her out of that predicament... leg cramps from h*ll and taken residence in her thighs. Warm/wet towel and me clearing out her room so I could put a sheet under her butt and pull her out finally did the trick. Whew! Poor thing is snoozing in the recliner now. Just awful. This disease is AWFUL!!