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Once we admit what? That our loved on has problems? hahahaha.... okay, I admit, mom has a problem, probably I do as well.

My mom was diagnosed at least 5 years ago. It was in writing. Alzheimer's. She is Stage 6 now. It is not I who am in denial. I educated myself and still educate on this disease. I didn't stuff my head in the ground and pretend things were not happening. I left everything I loved... came here to help my parent's who were my first love. Doesn't matter if she does not act like the mom I once knew. I know what's going on as I educated myself. That does not mean I am going to stuff her away somewhere...

Thank you for your insight, it seems like you've just stepped out of denial yourself and realize what's going on.

Be blessed on your journey.
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For those of you having to care for a spouse, parent, sibling whomever, and if they have Alzheimer's - be specific and get it diagnosed - whatever they tell you about it not being able to be diagnosed or if you think it's just Demensia but some behaviours are getting out of hand, get a diagnosis and get it in writing. If you are dealing with a worsening memory condition - just go along with it. Agree and postpone and be busy and agree some more - most of all, let it go. Stop beating yourselves up about it and thinking you are doing some disservice or take on a bunch of guilt about it. You are not dealing with the person you've known all your life or most of your life. They have changed and will continue to change so tell them what they want to hear. Chances are, they will forget and will ask you again - and again - and again. This is what I've learned over the year and a half we finally had my mother's aging condition looked at professionally. I can't believe she was still driving this time last year. By denying it though (as I did for a long, long time) and not doing anything about it- that's when you should start feeling guilty because once you admit it, help is available, steps can be taken and most of all YOU can get the help YOU need.
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So far bugs haven't been a problem in the Pacific North West. Just the occasional quarter sized black spider crawling across the ceiling....
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mosquitos not too bad I have small water garden and rain barrels for watering and I put insecticide in them but have had ants in the kitchen for about a month now plus some of the cats are getting eat mites again.
Dad's cold pretty much gone but coughing up "stuff" which is getting annoying to hear.
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What??? HUH???? Say that again. What? I'm patient for the first 100 a day but.....Jeezaloo! She can hear, she just says it automatically. She needs a few seconds to "get it".......so take a few seconds before saying WHAT????? Then she tells me I have no patience . If she only knew.
"Saint" Boni
lol
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It is priceless when they ask where we've been all day. Some days I'll spend the whole day working and she'll ask, "You been taking a nap?" Grrrarrrr!
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jessebelle i so hear you my mum does this too when i come home from shopping the tv is so loud and theres times ive forgotten my key i have to go and knock at the window sometimes she hears me sometimes i could be outside like an idiot waiting to get in. ive had to call my brother twice lucky he only lives down the road but still its just ANOTHER really annoying thing that can push you over the edge THEN you have to cook thier dinner after she asks "where have you been all day" yeh really makes your blood boil!
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My "whine" today is i heard mum shouting in an angry voice outside in the garden so i went to investigate as we never have visitors?
Went into the garden and she was there in the heat in her warm PJs shouting at "the birds". Telling them to shut up singing! She said they were doing her head in? my mum loves birds this wasnt like her in the end she took off her hearing aid even the birds are getting to her didnt know whether to laugh or cry?
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So sorry Sallie and so sad but look after you! be there for him but at a distance you cannot look after them both.
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What is it with the cockroaches this year? I usually get crickets that my cats will reduces the population..... or sugar ants that one cat will enjoy as a snack, gross. And this the first time ever in my house I caught 2 cockroaches.... good heavens. Only thing I can think of is all this crazy weather we've been having since spring.
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I hate mosquitoes!! I am surrounded by woods, pond and cranberry bogs.. Yesterday I was outside at 3pm and they were eating me up...Ugh..
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Book, LOL! I thought I had it bad sprinkling the ant killer on an ant hill, home, whatever, outside the kitchen door yesterday! The powder works very well, the ants think it is food then carry it back to the colony. Get the ones under ground as well.

Cockroaches?! I just finished breakfast, thanks. Many years ago a friend that was selling real estate was walking into a home with a client and a grasshopper flew into her mouth! Gross!. And you know why motorcyclists are always riding with a smile don't you?
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Summer bug problems. An old pond in the backyard, cracked, so just half full of stinky water = mosquitoes. Broke the bottom in, let it drain and filled it with wood chips. Pan of water on top for the birds. Few mosquitoes now plus barn swallows nesting under the deck roof keep them down.

Bad flea problem right now (I live in the country). Using food grade diacemaceous (sp?) earth on the animals but, much as I loathe chemicals, I've resorted to spray. Sent the pets into the backyard and sprayed the rugs and washed their bedding 2 days in a row and it seems to be working.
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Veronica, the cockroaches here Run Towards You! Have you ever tried to stomp a fast moving 1 1/2 inch cockroaching zeroing in towards you? And then when they feel threatened, they take off - and fly so fast - towards you. They don't flee. They fly to you. I never ever scream (after the first initial scare) when a cockroach is around. What if your mouth is open screaming? From the roach's point of view, it sees a dark opening - a safe haven. It might fly right into your mouth!

My nieces used to scream non stop when afraid. When I told them that, they now don't scream with their mouth open -whether it's roaches or lizards.

I have it on my cell phone's notepad to buy the ortho ant spray. Our house is infested with different variety of ants. I've been spraying Raid on the big red ants. One bite really really stings badly. And more raid outside my dad's window, in the kitchen, in the bathroom. Just recently, I found some in my bedroom. Later. Time for bed.....
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Ho ho Book that cockroach was not the one you sprayed, it was his brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. if you can't face stomping the next one keep something heavy in the kitchen and drop it on him before you run. get some nasty toxic spray from the store and spray all round the kitchen. In front and under cabinets and under the fridge and stove and inside the cupboard under the sink. they love warm damp places. roach traps are no use. Don't scream while you do it you will inhale the toxic spray.
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Sallie sorry!
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haha bookluvr.... you must know my two oldest brothers. 2 peas in a weird pod. Had a great time with the oldest bro and his wife (we've had BAD blood) Maybe this is healing time?

My whine... I hardly ever go out in a public setting... I'm like a giddy child who can't control there self. Fun for me... giggles for them. Bummer. Loud cars raced round and round and I was in HEAVEN! redneck heaven apparently.. I HAD FUN!

Get home, 2nd oldest is big time grumpy. Mom kept talking about some lady she talked to forever, 2nd oldest said it was just "some lady"?. Oh, then he had to bitch that my dogs snacked on "tissues" from ma's bathroom. LOL!! They NEVER do that when i am here.... I either flush those tissues or toss em.

Hmph!

As much as I really dislike all of this... my heart warmed up when I came home and mom was happy to see me. I worried the entire time and felt so protective of her well being. I scared myself.....
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Remember to turn off your cell phone. Your oldest brother will still have his on. If 2nd oldest bro tries to call you, he won't reach you. So he will call your bro. Let him handle any situation that arises at home.
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Shhhh.... shhhh..... My 2nd oldest brother is here, he's going to watch mom while my oldest brother and I go watch the car races. It's only been 19 months since I have been able to watch them. I can here them every saturday night, just not go.... so.......let me go finish them dinner and be very quiet so he can have his power nap. LOLOLOLOL!!!! what I do for an hour away....
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When I had my first surgery to take out some complex ovarian cysts, I had a happy face (smiley mouth) cut below my belly. My surgeon visited me on the 2nd day after surgery. He told me that the insurance wants me out on the 2nd day. But if I feel that I need another day, then he will give me another day stay at the hospital. I asked for another day. OMG! The car ride from the hospital to the house was Excruciating!!! The same applied when I had my 2nd surgery - in Hawaii.

Word of advice: Before you go home, make sure to take painkillers to dull the pain from the car ride. Also, bring 2 pillows. One to sit on (to help cushion Any bumps on the road) and one for your back (to help cushion the bumps and vibrations of the moving car.) It won't stop the pain but it sure helps not make it excruciating!
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Veronica, please say it isn't so!! ??
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Sallie, sorry about your brother, but..not a surprise, right? Just not prepared for it to become a reality to someone you know.

My whine for today is: When will that darn cockroach die?!!! It's close to 930am. I sprayed that bugger about 30 minutes ago. I must have missed it when it was fleeing. I thought the coast was clear - to make breakfast. And it's still running around on the kitchen floor. I had to re-spray it and flee back to the livingroom. I'm hungry!!!!
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Sorry to hear about your brother, Sallie. :-(
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Some days it feels/smells like truly living in an outhouse.

Sorry for the bad news Sallie :(
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I found out today my 55 yr old brother has cirrhosis!
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I have to post this whine for today...can't believe how today has gone.

Today is NOT a good day.....Mom's not doing well with her memory today. She's remembering things from her childhood - told me how an uncle followed her when she walked home one night - she said he was a lech. (this just came out of the blue, she just started talking about it)....but then she took a nap and waited too long to go to the bathroom and had an accident....so she went and got changed. Came out, sat in her chair for an hour, waited too long to go again, got up and had an accident again. Then, after I changed the protective pad on her chair, got her clean clothes (again) and put her pillow from her chair in the wash, because she peed on that too, she came out and sat down. I asked her if she had changed her pad - she said, "I think I did" - I went in the bathroom - no, she didn't change it. She didn't flush the toilet either, and she didn't change her wet underwear and pants. So she came out and sat on her chair in the same wet underwear and pants, which got the new pad on the chair wet again. So...back to the bathroom again to change her clothing, her pad, her underwear...then change the chair pad again.....

These steps along the dementia road sometimes come faster than we expect. The rest of the day, she's been relatively fine, even walked into the kitchen to get herself a snack earlier, instead of asking me for it (which is her normal course of action), got a haircut (we have someone who comes to the house to do it) and I even got her to go outside and walk up and down the ramp twice, and sit in the sunshine. So strange how she can go from having a really bad morning to being fine the rest of the day. I hate the aging process and what it's doing to her. :-(
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CM yes you did forget the geography in the US. 40 miles is nothing. And day sugery is the norm. I had three hernias repaired and was out as soon as I could stagger. Joint replacements are home on day 4 as soon as you can navigate with a walker. hubby got one night in the hospital with his neck and his prostate. It really is pretty brutal compared to the good old days but you actually recover quicker.
Make preparations before the surgery so there are plenty of microwave foods in the freezer.
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To reduce the number of infections my eye, FF! To reduce the number of infections they can be held liable for, more like. Grrrrr….
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Countrymouse, only problem with surgery today most of it here in the States is outpatient.... doesn't matter how severe the surgery the insurance company wants you home as soon as you wake up from surgery and you can utter your name. The reason for this fast turn around is to reduce the number of infections.

I can make this my whine.... why on earth send someone home from surgery who can barely walk, with drains in your body that you have to care for yourself, hurting like there is no tomorrow.... to be cared by someone who is totally clueless. Thank goodness he didn't ask me when is dinner ;)

But I agree for Texarkana to lay it on with a trowel... we deserve time to heal.
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Tex, while you are in that hospital lie back, be waited on hand and foot, and make the most of it! There have got to be some compensations for having to endure the surgery after all.

And once you get home and you're convalescing, lay it on with a trowel and be shameless about demanding peace and quiet while you're in such a delicate condition (even if you're not, you're fine, and you're actually ready to go fifteen rounds in the boxing ring!). If your husband and mother have to adjust and come to some new modus vivendi because of it, so much the better! - it might even last on into the future.

Forty miles away from your doctor sounds a lot! - or am I just being British about this and failing to take US geography into account? But isn't there anybody you trust any closer than that?
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