I have been living with my 81 yr old mom since April, 07. I am her main caregiver. I have 2 sisters, who live close and a brother her lives out of state....several states away. After a family conference Friday night (excluding my brother) it was decided I need a caregiver support group. I haven't found one locally yet. My sister found this web site for me and said it would help. So here I am.
Mom worries constantly about money. So every time it comes to bill paying...there is problems. I pay half of the bills. I know she lives on a fixed income, but so do I. I have also tried to realize and understand since I've been living here, is that she lived through the depression and the worry about bills and money is normal. Just makes me crazy every month.
During the family meeting it was also decided that mom and I both need family couseling...because we're like an old married couple trying to live together. I have taken care of that.
I handle all the bills, dr appts, dental appts, procedures, and medications. My sisters said they do need to help out more..so thats a help. They did say that since I was the one that lived with her...and knew how she acted or whatever was going on with her...it was best that I do the dr appts. Also, alot of people didn't need to be messing with her meds. Mom and I go to the same dentist...so I set appts at the same time. Any procedures they can take her to.
It was also decided to need to get out more, I know that and am going to start getting out more.
Anyway....this may be just rambling...but it's a start.
EVERYBODY's problems. Honestly, it's soooo hard for me to ask anybody for anything. And I know being superwoman will kill me....put me in the hospital last year. They did have to step up then....LOL...but before they put me in the hospital...I came home....took care of mom's medication for 2 weeks. Made notes and anything else I could think of. I didn't tell them (my family) the reason why they were putting me in the hospital....just that they were going to make some medication adjustments and wanted me in a safe place.
I'm not perfect by Noooo means.... I love my mom... and when I start fussing or complaining... I always say to whoever I'm talking to.... I love my mom, but....
Again....rambling. But thanks for letting me ramble.
what a great start =) I just started on this site also. So far, I have had some really great feeback. And it's so wonderful to read posts that are so similar to my situation. I recently moved back in take care of my mother for the 2nd time in my life. This time it's for the long haul. Married couple needing a divorce and quick describes us! It's why I'm here. My brother helps us out financially here and there, when he can. He can't handle what is happening to mom emotionally, so it's just me. I'm so glad your sisters have stepped up and realized you need help. Austin is very correct, lock them into things! And yes, don't be afraid to let go of some of the control. If you need something extra, ASK. That never hurt.