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Wow! I think I have an ulcer!!!
Your situation almost sounds like mine😪
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Taking care of my ex-employers Mom.
I live with her. I get 1 day a week off and I am about to lose my mind!
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Mally, that would make me think "poisoning?" - call me paranoid if you like, but I've read too often about people unthinkingly or evilly leaving poisoned bait where non-target animals can pick it up. Got any neighbours with a rat problem or anything like that? Wish her better, anyway; and glad to hear pusskit turned up safe and sound.
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@ 5:45 am my dog woke me; she was having a grand mal type seizure; lost bowel control and everything - no history of seizures (?). So I cleaned it up; nothing to do after that but make a cup of coffee and stay up. Kept her in all day to observe her. Later on one of our cats, the older deaf one, went missing. Missing as in I looked EVERYWHERE in the house, outside.... so I decided to sit and wait for him to show up for his lunch, tho I was worried, it didn't seem possible he had gotten out of the house... which he hadn't. While I was sitting at the table reading, he suddenly showed up on the chair next to me. Thank God! Unfortunately, I didn't see where he came from, so his hiding place is still useful to him.... sigh.
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Jam yes its hard. Up & down days. The key is to stay focused on your own goals & to understand its their illness and not yours. It's hard not to internalize because we love them. They too are upset & angry about what's happening to them. They lash out and do get aggressive. I recently told my mom that her yelling at me and acting aggressive I will not accept. I explained to her that's why many people do not visit their parent's. I was very clear with her. She has calmed down and I still see her but I give her & I space. I was trying to see her on a scheduled basis but I think that was too much for her. Easier for me. I take it day by day now. The key is to keep some distance.
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Glad, if I think a typhoon is scary - and we mostly live in cement (cinderblock) homes, I can just imagine how much scarier it is to live in the Mainland - where most homes are made of wood. I hope the hurricane weakens before it hits land.
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Book, happy to hear from you. Now we have Florence coming that is forecast to have significant, possibly very destructive, impact in Virginia, North and South Carolina.
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Thanks, MsMadge. Power goes off, our land line phone (wireless handset) went dead, too. No power, no wi-fi. What is soooo frustrating is that on the radio, they tell us to Not call the power's emergency dispatcher. To please go online and report it. Uhm… most of the island (80% ??) was without power. Not everyone has a data plan. Oh, to find the latest update, please go to Homeland Security, Governor's website, radio stations website or FB.. .I was just sooo frustrated that this is the very first time we had a typhoon and all I heard on the d*rn radio was to go to so-and-so website for updates!!! Can't go to the websites if we don't have power. No power, no wi-fi.

Can you believe fave sis did not have a small radio? For Years, I've kept nagging her to get one. Every time we had a typhoon, I told her to get one. The day before the typhoon arrived, she asked me if I had a radio to spare. Ahem.. remember I'm a packrat? I have … 5 radios. I gave her my bathroom radio that hangs on the wall. I've had it for years. It is very, very clear and strong at picking up radio stations. She just texted me. Her granddaughter broke it...

Going to Amazon or Ebay to look for a hanging bathroom radio, an old fashion hand held telephone (that won't die when the power goes off) and some replacement hardwares for my screen windows. I just noticed how most of the thingy (don't even know what it's called) are all rusty and not holding the screen to the wall. Later!! I'll catch up on the other thread. I'm on a mission before I forget to buy those stuff....
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Welcome back, Book
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sigh... this is the 3rd or was it 4th time to post. This time I'm keeping it short and simple! Yes, we made it through and without any flooding. Well, we did flood but it wasn't the scary kind. Shutters up. House became stuffy. No shutters on kitchen sink corner windows, bathroom window and livingroom front door. Since wind blowing opposite direction, I kept the door open until I could no longer stand the typhoon's wailing winds. Strange to stand on the porch and watch the mango trees leaves right in front of the porch furiously slashing around. Cowardly me ran back into the house when the wailing winds was just too scary to take. Sis would just calmly go out to the edge of the porch smoking and watching the leaves. I tried to accompany her and .. chickened out.. Our power transformer blew out even before the winds came. We finally got our power, 2 days later... A visitor from the mainland was impressed how the people responded when our governor told us to start preparing for the typhoon. Everyone galvanized on Saturday.

ABB, regarding roommates - make sure to google them. One always hear how a nanny or babysitter had prior arrests but the parent never checked them out....
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Book

hope you're safe and dry
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GUYS!! Do not eat a bunch of garlic and jalapeño before you go to bed!! (I hear some of you saying "well, no kidding." lol) Eating the salsa seems to have accomplished some of the things I wanted it to accomplish, and got things moving along in my stomach, but I slept horribly last night and wanted to die this morning. I had a long and busy day at work, but got through it and patting myself on the back, all is well.

CW, this is my thinking, too. Thanks for the good wishes. If it works out well, it could be a big help to making more positive change in my life.

How are you, Book? You're in my thoughts. (((Hugs))) to you and your island.
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My oldest nephew is into student rentals Ali, grad students should make great roomies; they are mature and very focused on their studies and probably used to sharing space in their undergrad years. Hope it works out for you!
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I confronted my elderly mother about saying. I should follow what her GP says. She accused me of 'projecting' on to her, problems that don't exist.
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Book, we are all thinking about you. Stay safe. It is 1:00 pm Monday in ****

Ali, if I were younger it would make sense to find roomies. I have thought about it myself, but I enjoy my private and quiet time. Hope it will work out for you. Give you more time to do things you enjoy.
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Book, has the typhoon hit yet? I'm going to look it up online.

Edit: Looks like you're getting it later Monday afternoon and evening. Take care!!
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I want to share some normal life stuff, hope no one minds if I butt in and share it over here. It's not dysfunctional or related to dysfunctional family stuff, so I think it goes over here.

I'm sitting at home, eating some SERIOUSLY garlic and jalapeño salsa on tortilla chips in an attempt to kill the last of my recent sick bug, and thinking about my plans for new apartment. I cannot believe it, but it's coming up on one year I've had my lease at current place, and I decided to make a move from the 1 bedroom to a much larger 3 bedroom for same rent.

I've been thinking about this... and I really think that... I want to get 2 roommates for the other 2 bedrooms and basically I could live rent free. It's hard to explain, but yeah, could be done, and it's not like I won't pay anything -- I'll include all utilities and household supplies (toilet paper etc) in the rent. Chicago has a lot of graduate students for all the different universities, people who are here on work visa... There's enough of a demographic of people, I think, who would appreciate a relatively inexpensive, clean, safe bedroom in apartment where they didn't have to worry about anything much but paying rent... Plus there is a large 13 x 15 parlor plus 12 x 15 living room. There's a lot of space to put desks in the common areas.

So anyway, it wasn't my plan from the beginning to rent the other rooms. I didn't know what I was going to do. But now... it makes so much sense to me. I can save aggressively and also pursue other interests easier, work fewer days perhaps and have free time for other things.

With this in mind, I'm bringing in a contractor for estimate to paint the entire place, walls and trim, patch things up (doesn't need much, just cosmetic overhaul), and put in custom shelving for all the closets so there will be plenty of storage room for multiple occupants.

I'm excited to see how my Project: Apartment will come out. It wouldn't make sense to invest $2k in an apartment (I asked landlady if she would paint, she declined) that I don't own... but if I see that amount as an investment in not paying rent for the next 5 years, it's nothing.

I think this is a good idea. I'm exited to spiff up the new digs. I'm getting estimates this week for the needed work.
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Thanks about my aunty. Despite being in so much pain, she came to my dad's 1st anniversary of his death. She came to the 7-days of mass of intentions. I recognized her singing voice among the other women. My aunty had a beautiful singing voice - whether singing solo or with others. I forgave her when she sang that song on the day mom died. I could tell that aunty was singing from her heart. I forgave her but I have never forgotten. She and my mom's other siblings rarely came to visit their own sister all those years she was suffering dementia and then bedridden. When my dad died, she also sang that song -despite not liking my dad. I forgave her again. {whispering... I think Uncle, her husband, is going down the dementia or senility lane.... She was his rock.}

As for the typhoon, it changed a teeny tiny direction, no longer head-on. But we're still preparing because it can always stall in one place for hours, and then turn direction. I'm still putting things up, muttering that after this is over, and I have some spare time, I'm going to ruthlessly start throwing out things. I'm such a packrat!!!! Even now, I'm having a difficult time throwing things away as I'm trying to decide which items are important and goes on top of my bunk bed.
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Book, would riding it out at your office work?
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Book
please find higher ground to ride out the storm

we are thinking of you and sorry to hear of your auntie
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Bookluver, I an so sorry to hear of your Aunty's Passing. I was luck to have 3 amazing Aunty's in my life, my Mom's 3 sisters. Losing them was so difficult, and then my Mom too, Uggg, I know it's a part of life, but I do understand how sad this time is for you right now.

How scary to be preparing for a typhoon! I hope and pray that you find Safe refuge, and that it isn't anywhere near as bad as you think it may be. Please let us all know how you are doing, and do find a safe place soon! I'll be praying for you and all of your Loved Ones! Take Care Girl! ❤❤❤
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Book, I’m so sorry for your loss. Cancer is just a horrible disease. Can you and your sis go to a hotel to ride out the typhoon? Keep us updated as you can.
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Book I am so sorry about your Aunt, was she still in Washington? And typhoon would scare me too.. do you have any other realitives you could stay with, or your boss and his wife?
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(((((book)))) I am sorry for your loss. Please stay somewhere safe! Let us know how you are.
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Book, I am so sorry for the loss of your Aunt.

Typhoon, certainly there are better places to ride the storm out that bro's? Take care of yourself.
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(((Book))), I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your aunty. Cancer is such a terrible disease.

Stay safe during this upcoming storm! Do you have anywhere else you can shelter if bro and SIL don't respond?
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I'm sorry about your aunty Book, do they have an explanation on why there is such a high cancer rate on your island?
As for the typhoon, are there public shelters that might be a better place to go to ride out the storm?
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My aunty who was diagnosed with cancer and flew to Washington for treatment - has passed away this morning. She was my mom's sister. I now have 3 family members who lost the battle to cancer, my 10 year old niece (oldest sis' granddaughter), my first cousin and now my aunty.... In this island, one person dies of cancer every three days.

On another note, we are now preparing for a super typhoon to hit our island on Tuesday or Wednesday. Not pass us, but hit us. I'm preparing our house for flooding - since we live at the lowest level ground below a cliff line. All the water from the main road on our left, the waterfall from the cliff on our right, and all our neighbors land from the front and behind will drain to our house - the lowest of all around. As you all know, I'm terrified of water. I can't even stand having water reach my ankle in a shower or bathtub before I start hyperventilating. I'm brainstorming. Last night, I mentioned to bro and SIL of next door about spending the typhoon with them. No response. Just silence. SIL said her precious babies (vicious Rottweilers that wants to tear me to pieces based on how they viciously launch at me every time they see me, crashing against their cages trying to get at me, growling and snarling, teeth viciously showing as they try to rip from their cages) will be inside their house. sigh....
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How am I doing or feeling. My prescription pills are running out. I call it a drug not yet approved by a Govt. agency? It’s called Humor. Make people laugh to make you laugh from what ever you say. You’ll know your prescription is running out when the other person isn’t laughing. Then come up with something else and don’t get into caregiver experience because it is a downer for you and the person doesn’t smile or laugh and ask how is family member doing?
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I feel so bad. When I was referring to crying crocodile tears, I meant big tears or weeping. I was just informed that the true meaning is:

"Crocodile tears (or superficial sympathy) is a false, insincere display of emotion such as a hypocrite crying fake tears of grief."

That is the very opposite of what I was meaning to say. Please forgive me as I truly with all sincerity meant true sadness, true, tears and true grief.

And Book (HUG), it made me giggle when you wrote flummoxed, as I have been using that word lately as often as the occasion arises. :)
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