I found a good podcast here:
https://pameladwilson.com/caring-for-an-anxious-elderly-mother-caregiver-expert-strategies-the-caring-generation-episode226/
Including this:
Signs that an elderly mother or father has high care or attention needs. Your answers to these questions may indicate whether you have an anxious elderly mother or father with high needs.- Does your parent have an anxious or worrisome personality?- Has Mom or Dad been a worrier all of their life?- Has an elderly parent been negative all of their life?-Is blaming others for the bad things that happened in their life common- Does an elderly mother spend her days worrying about everyone else as a distraction instead of dealing with her own issues?- Does Mom or Dad expect you to change your plans to show up every time they need something?- Do they constantly complain about or worry about health problems that they don’t seem to want to do anything about?- Instead, they want attention or sympathy?- Do they worry about issues happening in the world or in the news?- Does an elderly anxious mother experience panic attacks, or have fear that something will happen again, like a fall, especially if she has fallen before?
How to Recognize Anxious Behaviors and Identify Life-Long Patterns
If you answered yes to any of these questions and these issues repeat and repeat, you might have a high-need Mom or Dad who is anxious and depressed. If this isn’t working out well, look at how you are responding to your anxious elderly mother or father. Are you showing up to fulfill their every need, hoping for appreciation or acknowledgement? If so, you are training Mom or Dad that their behaviors are perfectly acceptable. If you want to change the situation, what do you want this relationship to look like? If you don’t know what you want, it’s impossible to change the situation.
