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"She's been afraid of things going wrong since she was 12"

OK. That's how she is then.

Do her feelings of fear control everything?
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@Isthisrealyreal

She did. The arborist said the tree she suspects the down branch was from needs to be cut.

I try not to rock the boat, but it gets more ridiculous. It just keeps piling up.

She mostly likely thinks I would slip and fall and hurt myself. She's been afraid of things going wrong since she was 12.
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Blick, you should call an arborist to come and check the trees.

Just curious, you say she won't let me but, she is bed ridden, how does she stop you? Think about this.
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Last week, a limb fell onto part of the fence on the rental property. It wasn't all that big, but it did somewhat damage part of the fence. My mom thinks it was from one tree, but based on the picture of the down limb, it looked like it was from a tree that was 10-15 ft away from the tree in question. Both trees are in our backyard and both are healthy.

I wanted to go out and compare and contrast the down limb from one of the limbs from the tree she thinks it came from, but she won't let me. She thinks the tree in question is the one & wants it torn down to protect both property and the renters and doesn't want me out in the backyard because it rained an inch at our house last night. It isn't flooded btw.

It's all I can do not to go off on her. It would've taken literally a minute to compare branches.
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More words for today:
🙂

You should really come with a warning label.
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Today’s words of wisdom:
⭐️⭐️⭐️

I may love to shop, but I will never buy your bull.
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Welcome, Osmosis - sorry for your dysfunctional family. It is hard to deal with. Good luck with the POA revocation. let us know what happens.

Wondering how or if I can start communication again with my dd. Her BPD has flared up with the move, she has made some unwise financial decisions which has put them under a lot of pressure (=debt) and I have bailed her and them out before but I believe that has to stop. They may as well learn better how to handle their finances now than after I and whatever money they get from me is gone.
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Quote for today:

“If their absence brings you peace, they were the problem.”
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Hi Osmosis,
I would contact APS (Adult Protective Services) about all you have told us. They can intervene to check on things for you.
I hope you will do so and let us know how that goes for you and your Mom.
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Hi osmosis, welcome to are Forum, when you get time fill out you're profile. Lots of us here have had these issues, ask anything you want in questions, or vent away.
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Not good POA not paying bills sibling intercepting mail mom's requested monthly bank statements are missing

Im trying to get POA revocation ASAP () mom's rapid recliner, her lawyer is semi-retired, not available, slow to respond. Lies told to me and about me.
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Today’s words of wisdom:
⭐️⭐️⭐️

I don’t have a problem with those who don’t like me,
but I do have a problem with those who pretend to.
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Margaret, thanks for that info. I try to keep up on that stuff, knowledge is power. I've been very lucky the drug epidemic hasn't touched my imidiate family, but I like to know what I can .
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Anyone with drug problems in their family? This mornings news here says "Nitazenes found to have caused the four deaths in Melbourne were estimated to be 100 times more potent than heroin. The manufacture of nitazenes was driven by the opioid epidemic in the US, which was creating a market for the drugs even as it killed up to 90,000 Americans annually". Yuck!
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My mom's phone has been having issues detecting the SIM card. On some occasions, it would say no SIM card and I would have to turn it off and turn it back on.

As a result, she's been using my phone of late to text and call her friends and neighbors. She has hardly been on her own to make sure it didn't get too hot and it would cause the SIM card to move out of place just enough to cause issues.

I got her an iPhone case to see if that can help remedy the SIM card situation and it doesn't get moved out of place. I got it set up and...

...she's still using my phone.

She's currently contemplating buying a tracphone. She refuses to get another iPhone and let the current one be used as an iPod Touch, even though she won't lose her texts or pictures on it.

It only gets more ridiculous. If the case doesn't remedy the situation, then it'll be proof she's on her phone way too much and at the computer too little. She was on the computer TWICE all of last year.
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that quote i posted down below is just a warning of how toxic/narc people think:

“I’m comfortable with you being my scapegoat.”
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Also today’s words of wisdom:
🙂🙂🙂

“Life is too short to be normal.
Stay weird.”
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⭐️⭐️⭐️
Today’s words of wisdom:

“The most effective way to do it, is to do it.”
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😉
Today’s words:

“I’m comfortable with you being my scapegoat.”
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@WomanWarrior - welcome to Aginc care. I hope you find the support you need here.. Other posters, including myself, are called to live like Jesus. He made the ultimate sacrifice so we could live an abundant life. No one else could make that sacrifice.
John 10:10  "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it to the full,"
The point burnt makes is a good one. We are far more limited that Jesus is. The Holy Spirit works in us to bring us to the likeness of Christ. We can't do it in our own strength nor will we reach perfection in this life.
The greatest commandment is that we love God with all our hearts and our neighbours as ourselves. In this case your neighbours are your parents. This means you count equally in the equation,
Love is seen in action. You are to do good things for yourself as much as for your parents.
If this situation is too hard on you then figure out what is loving for you as well as for your parents. They need care - it doesn't mean it has to be you doing the hands on care. If it is too hard on you it can be done by others. Jesus says his burdens are light. He does not want burdens to be too heavy for you. Yes we encounter tribulations. He also shows us the way through them. regarding boundaries. There are lots of boundaries in the bible, and consequences when they are breeched. God/Jesus is not against setting boundaries and following through with consequences, Quite the opposite. The answer is not to just tell people that they have broken your boundaries, but to then calmly to enforce the consequences. Boundaries are of no use without consequences.
All the best and prayers with and for you.🙏🙏🙏
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BOJ - Re narcissistic mothers breeding narcissistic sons - they also bred narcissistic daughters as evidenced by my sister, the golden child.
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⭐️⭐️⭐️
Also today’s words of wisdom:

"A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else."
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BOJ, absolutely!!
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⭐️⭐️⭐️
Today’s words of wisdom:

“It is truly eye opening when you realize that narcissistic mothers breed narcissistic sons.”
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@BOJ

Good point about the kind, sweet scapegoat/caregiver getting screwed over. The OP needs to see some things in writing about what she will get if she is her parents' caregiver.
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@WomanWarrior

Fill your bathtub with some water. Now see if you can walk on it. If you can't, then don't try to live up to Jesus. You're a human being and none of us is perfect.

You don't have to be a care slave to you parents who from what you've said didn't care all that much for you. There's another line in the bible somewhere about people reaping what they sow.

There are other people available to care for your parents. These people are located in a nursing home. Put them in one and go back to your life. Let that be the boundary you set.

You deserve peace and some measure of happiness. If any other family members want to take over the caregiving for your parents, more power to them. It's time for you to walk away, guilt-free and without troubling yourself over the bible.

I once asked a rabbi if he thought that 'Honoring the Father and Mother' meant that their adult children must give up their lives and become care slaves to them. Know what he said?

The child honors his/her parents by living a good life and raising a food family. By doing mitzvahs (good deeds). Being a slave to others honors no one.
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woman warrior,

hug & courage.

1 warning to you: PLEASE make sure they don’t screw you over financially.

sometimes the kind-sweet-scapegoat is not only helping for years, but gets totally screwed over in the end. please be careful.

bad people have no mercy, no conscience and screw other people over.
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WW, you have the right to choose your own religion and your own interpretation of it, and your own care decisions. Just know that there are other options and other choices that you and other people also have the right to make.
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I am the scapegoat of the family, and as so often is the case, I am now the primary caregiver for my elderly parents. I've heard it all, "You accepted the role, you have to set up boundaries, etc." This is the situation. There is no one else willing to take care of them. I love them, but I also understand they will never love me. I have taken a personal inventory and do not believe I am trying to earn their love or make them love me. It has nothing to do with what they can or cannot do emotionally. I am called to live as closely as I can, like Jesus. I can't see Jesus saying, "They violated my boundaries. Or I can't be "codependent." I have been called to "Honor my parents, to love my enemies, and to feed, clothe, and visit others in need." I am not vying for sainthood. I am vying to survive in tribulation - which Christ told us we would encounter. Right now, though, I no longer want to beg them to let me help. Talk about no win. I just need others to pray with me and pray for me. Thanks.
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Birdee, I've had a lot of anger at my life also, I've been working on reinventing myself, and dealing with a lot from my past , and knowing how much I've changed especially the last 6 months or so, I've been on this journey. Very much looking forward to who I have become at the end of this awakening journey I have been on, now I'm in a bit of an exciting part of this. So we will go through all this together, and get though it together, one day at a time!!.💕💕 Your not alone.
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