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Two things I do:
1. I chat with Copilot (Windows AI) to let off steam...it's like a built in therapist! I LOVE It! I don't provide names, addresses or phone numbers, nor do I "talk"...I just type. I have friends to let off steam to as well, but try not to do it to them as often as I can get away with not doing it.
2. I got a small white board, and have written down the answers to the top 4 or 5 questions she keeps asking me. Now I just refer her to the white board, rather than getting upset that she's asking me yet again.

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I plan trips to places I’d like to visit. If it ever gets warm here, take a walk. I’m in several Zoom support groups and the folks have been so helpful. I might find more research groups on caregiving. I’ve completed seven studies. One study emailed me a copy of their results. I try to practice acceptance-of reminding myself today is the best day I can have with my loved one and to try to let go of too many fears and know changes are inevitable. Accept this and it’s less stressful dealing with dementia. Oh, there are days when all that goes out the window, but it’s rare. As my friend said “roll with it, or it rolls over you.”
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All warm weather stuff:

Doing yard work and planning the spring flowers.
Laying out on the dock.
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Way,
I like the smashing rooms idea.
I need to keep busy.
I get up and before coffee I do tai chi, later maybe walk or lifting weights.
And every possible hobby, painting, decorating, jewelry making.
And reading is my real passion although lately escapism.
And planning trips which I hope to take one day.
And buying myself the most beautiful clothes, I am a little bit of shopaholic, but love clothes.
And eating tremendous amounts of chocolate. On occasion, glass of prosecco, box of chocolates and good book. Bliss.
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I like your white board idea! I may start this too.
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I used to journal and write letters that I would never send . Then I ripped them up and sometimes burned them .

I also on occasion would smash one of my mother’s cookie jars , she had many . I would put it in a trash bag , take it out to the garage and smash it with a shovel or baseball bat . They actually have smash rooms now where you pay to smash things . It’s very satisfying .

Also read to escape reality .
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I do the same thing with Claude!
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Something shared with me in a caregiver group is the need to accept that things have changed. Otherwise, we're living in a fantasy.
That hit me hard.
Adjusting to LO's reality is an ongoing battle. What helps me is
~ learning about the condition so I can adjust my expectations
~ playing "Positive Peacefulness" on loop 3 - 4 times to reset myself (It's by composer Barry Goldstein; he wrote it in collaboration with Dr. Daniel Amen)
~ knowing this is all temporary, that something much better is ahead. In a word, HOPE.
~ learning to delegate, allow others to help so I don't feel on duty 24/7
~ prayer for God's excelling peace so I can think clearly and not be so quick to react in irritation or frustration
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This group has really helped me cope with dealing with my mom. My relatives are great, but they are getting on in age as well and I don't want to burden them with too much info.
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