First, the good news: Chuck is doing very well with his liver transplant. April 29 will mark the one year anniversary of his transplant at the Mayo Clinic. He's showing no signs of rejection, is off 80% of his medications, and his follow up tests and visits show him to be a super star. He's back to photographing birds every morning with my son, even in minus 5 degree weather, so that pretty much says it all. My avatar pics are of his birds.
Now for the bad news: I've mentioned before having a surface melanoma on my arm removed in October of 2021. An "in situ" mole of no consequence where all the melanoma 'was removed successfully'. This was a result of having a dozen beauty marks on both arms blow up like balloons after the 2nd Covid shot, grow scabs on them, and when the scab fell off, the beauty mark disappeared entirely. Except for the one. And all of it was not successfully removed after all, as a few cells must've escaped into my body and caused metastatic stage 4 cancer in my lymph nodes, liver, and bones. I went to the ER 3 weeks ago for excruciating pain in my left side where a CT scan with contrast was ordered. The cancer was discovered at that time, and I've spent the last 2 weeks in testing. The cancer is not in my brain, thank God.
The Oncologist told me there is immunotherapy available now for malignant melanoma. 2 types at once, administered via IV (no port) every 3 weeks x4. That's the goal. To turn on my immune system to kill off this cancer. 50% of immunotherapy patients are alive 2 years later. Idk what the percentage is at the 5 year mark. I've avoided doing research bc I'm overwhelmed enough already.
I'm having tremendous pain in my spine, ribs and liver, where the cancer is the worst. The Oncologist gave me some heavy duty pain meds and told me to wait it out until the IV starts kicking in to relieve my pain. He said I would live less than 2 months without treatment so my first treatment is tomorrow morning. The side effects can be gnarly and these infusions WILL kick my butt, he said. I'm ready, I think. Ain't no beauty mark gonna take ME down at 65! 😑
I'm useless at home, so Chuck is doing everything. Laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, driving to appointments. I have a housekeeper coming in to do the heavy cleaning and my stepson and his wife are cooking 7 dinners for us and bringing them by on Saturday. I have to make sure HE'S not overworked during this treatment process to where he gets sick. He's already overcome with worry and shock over all this as it is. I'll ask my stepson to repeat that meal making plan, too...they want to help & we need help.
We've had a lot to deal with the past year, and now my issues, which were there all along, just not apparent until recently. We wouldn't have been able to handle TWO of us sick at once anyway, so this is how it had to play out, I suppose.
The one bright spot I hold onto here is the dime I found on the floor of the ER room I'd been in ALL DAY where there was no dime on the floor. And when the gal was wheeling me back into the room from the CT scan, there it was. I kicked it across the floor to Chuck and he said, "what's that?" I said, "it's a dime from dad, telling me everything will be alright." He was speechless. Dad used to send me dimes all the time after he died in 2015, but stopped the past few years. I have a whole piggy bank full of them.
We can use all the prayers we can get right now, friends. I believe in prayers, in miracles and in signs from our deceased loved ones that they are with us in tough times. If you do too, please send up some prayers for Chuck and I right now.
Many thanks.
Praying for healing, for wisdom and direction for your doctors, for strength and a sense of peace for you and your loved ones.
I don’t know if you believe this or not but a friend of mine always tells me that our loved ones in heaven can do more for us from up there than they can when they were here on earth.
She also finds dimes and like you, she saves them.
Many people have recorded the song, ‘Pennies from Heaven,’ so there must be something to finding coins. It’s a sweet song.
I believe that all who know you on this forum will be praying for you.
Did your father have a favorite saint?
I will light a candle for you. I have been burning candles since I was a little girl.
My grandmother would take me to church with her to burn a candle and pray for others.
Back then the church doors were never locked. People could drop in anytime to pray.
Given a 6 mos. terminal illness diagnosis, my loved one went to Mayo Clinic. She is cancer-free. Guess she needed more time to get saved.
I see miracles happening already today as we travel this road with you in prayer.
May you be comforted and unafraid, strong and braver than you thought possible. May the Lord God Almighty lift up your countenance, and give you peace. In the powerful name of Jesus, I pray.
You’re welcome.
I do too. I have burned candles all over as well.
I have very special memories of burning candles. St. Patrick’s in NY will always hold a special place in my heart.
I was praying for child. Shortly after we came home I discovered that I was pregnant.
I think your mom is with your dad. I think my mom and dad are together too.
Knowing you are overwhelmed, I did not post the findings that said survival after 6 years on immunotherapy.
Just ask, but I cannot post the study on your pm privately.
You have been there for all of us, and now we will hold YOU up in prayer.
Here's the story from the bible about Moses' companions holding up his arms while a battle was fought. That's who we will be for you.
Exodus 17:12-14
12 When Moses' arms grew tired, Aaron and Hur brought a stone for him to sit on, while they stood beside him and held up his arms, holding them steady until the sun went down. 13 In this way Joshua totally defeated the Amalekites.
14 Then the Lord said to Moses, “Write an account of this victory, so that it will be remembered. Tell Joshua that I will completely destroy the Amalekites.”
So. Many. Hugs.
Anyway, thank you for being a good friend and so supportive this whole time. Big hugs to you and ty for the uplifting reading, too.
I had to read your post twice. At first, I thought I read it wrong. Then, it seemed like a sick joke by someone who hijacked your account.
I wish we could make it not so.
I echo cxmoody, we are holding you up - in love and prayer. Both you and Chuck.
You are very brave, but just know no one here expects that. Your real pain and fear are ok, too, if and when you need to share. We have strong shoulders and care very much.
May the peace of God be with you, dear one. May He hold you in His strength and shelter you and Chuck with His mighty wings.
And when you love someone that much, it’s just as painful to think of leaving them as it is to think of them leaving you.
There are so few words that can even touch this, but sending many, many hugs.
"Dear Lord, on behalf of LL, I ask for grace for her and Chuck to endure the challenge that is before them. You know she wants to live. You know she doesn’t want her body to change. You know she doesn’t want to be sick. You also know why she must meet this challenge, why she must go down this frightening path. She wants to avoid it. She wants the doctors to tell her the diagnosis was wrong. She wants her life back the way it was. She does not understand … But she knows if she puts her hand in Yours, You will guide her. You will give her courage. You will comfort her. I ask for Your grace for her and Chuck and their family now and forever. Amen"
Notre Dame Book of Prayer
I will keep you both in my heart, with thoughts and energy for getting through each day, for guidance for your treatment team, and for healing. Know that you both are held in the light, as much as my heart can manage.
I’ve been praying as The Lord brings you to mind.
Update us when you can.
🫂🫂