First, the good news: Chuck is doing very well with his liver transplant. April 29 will mark the one year anniversary of his transplant at the Mayo Clinic. He's showing no signs of rejection, is off 80% of his medications, and his follow up tests and visits show him to be a super star. He's back to photographing birds every morning with my son, even in minus 5 degree weather, so that pretty much says it all. My avatar pics are of his birds.
Now for the bad news: I've mentioned before having a surface melanoma on my arm removed in October of 2021. An "in situ" mole of no consequence where all the melanoma 'was removed successfully'. This was a result of having a dozen beauty marks on both arms blow up like balloons after the 2nd Covid shot, grow scabs on them, and when the scab fell off, the beauty mark disappeared entirely. Except for the one. And all of it was not successfully removed after all, as a few cells must've escaped into my body and caused metastatic stage 4 cancer in my lymph nodes, liver, and bones. I went to the ER 3 weeks ago for excruciating pain in my left side where a CT scan with contrast was ordered. The cancer was discovered at that time, and I've spent the last 2 weeks in testing. The cancer is not in my brain, thank God.
The Oncologist told me there is immunotherapy available now for malignant melanoma. 2 types at once, administered via IV (no port) every 3 weeks x4. That's the goal. To turn on my immune system to kill off this cancer. 50% of immunotherapy patients are alive 2 years later. Idk what the percentage is at the 5 year mark. I've avoided doing research bc I'm overwhelmed enough already.
I'm having tremendous pain in my spine, ribs and liver, where the cancer is the worst. The Oncologist gave me some heavy duty pain meds and told me to wait it out until the IV starts kicking in to relieve my pain. He said I would live less than 2 months without treatment so my first treatment is tomorrow morning. The side effects can be gnarly and these infusions WILL kick my butt, he said. I'm ready, I think. Ain't no beauty mark gonna take ME down at 65! 😑
I'm useless at home, so Chuck is doing everything. Laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, driving to appointments. I have a housekeeper coming in to do the heavy cleaning and my stepson and his wife are cooking 7 dinners for us and bringing them by on Saturday. I have to make sure HE'S not overworked during this treatment process to where he gets sick. He's already overcome with worry and shock over all this as it is. I'll ask my stepson to repeat that meal making plan, too...they want to help & we need help.
We've had a lot to deal with the past year, and now my issues, which were there all along, just not apparent until recently. We wouldn't have been able to handle TWO of us sick at once anyway, so this is how it had to play out, I suppose.
The one bright spot I hold onto here is the dime I found on the floor of the ER room I'd been in ALL DAY where there was no dime on the floor. And when the gal was wheeling me back into the room from the CT scan, there it was. I kicked it across the floor to Chuck and he said, "what's that?" I said, "it's a dime from dad, telling me everything will be alright." He was speechless. Dad used to send me dimes all the time after he died in 2015, but stopped the past few years. I have a whole piggy bank full of them.
We can use all the prayers we can get right now, friends. I believe in prayers, in miracles and in signs from our deceased loved ones that they are with us in tough times. If you do too, please send up some prayers for Chuck and I right now.
Many thanks.
She has friends with huge rocks .
My Moms was alittle over a carat , which apparently is considered small these days . 🙄🙄🙄 . It’s big enough on my daughter’s skinny fingers .
But lab created diamonds are less expensive , maybe her friends are buying those . Still not cheap though .
Isn’t it outrageous what some couples spend on engagement rings? It’s shocking what they spend on wedding rings.
You could buy a car, furnish your home and other useful things, rather than starting off your marriage with huge debt!
Eat a slice for me!
I don’t eat a lot of sweets but my daughters ordered the mini Chantilly cake for my birthday. It was so cute in the mini size and absolutely delicious!
I am glad that everyone loves your dress!
Weddings are expensive!
I love that you are making a special bouquet for your daughter. I am sure that it will be beautiful!
It’s not practical ……..destination weddings are sometimes done on purpose to keep the number of guests less. For instance if you have a MIL like I did that wanted to invite everyone she ever met from her kindergarten class on up .
A destination wedding works if close family and closest friends can make it. You run it by those critically important guests first . You can also make it not too far away but just far enough it works . Like if you stay in our country but you go to another region . The closest family and friends can make it . And most others don’t get offended about you only inviting a small number of people.
As far as expense goes for a wedding, the nickel and dime factor is insane! I'm shocked at what they're charging DD for every little thing, which adds up to big bucks at the end of the day. Even for a buffet, it's all portioned out for ONE pass through the line! One piece of chicken per person, in other words......how ridiculous is that?? They opted for a sit down served dinner instead for that reason. Its sad what things have come to, with inflation and greediness combined.
I spoke with DD last night and she doesn't have any requirements for what I wear. She was assuming I'd wear something from my closet given my limited ability to try clothing on, etc. As if I have GOWNS to choose from in my closet 🤣. She has no color requirements either. Turns out the mother of the groom bought a gown in a very similar blue to my dress! So I sent her a photo of mine and she loves it. So it's all good from her end. One less thing to dwell on....now onto figuring out how to make her jewelry bouquet!
(((HUG!)))
Wonderful news on the scan.
She wants to serve Dutch crumb apple pie with vanilla ice cream . She said she will also have cupcakes and cookies at a dessert table that people can go up and take from .
Wedding cakes are so expensive .
Sounds yummy! My favorite cake at Whole Foods is the Chantilly cake. I ordered it every year for my mom’s birthday.
I haven’t had Bundtini cakes. I have heard that they are delicious. We have ‘Nothing Bundt Cakes’ here. I haven’t tried them.
There are all kinds of weddings. Different trends that go on.
When my godson got married the groom and groomsmen wore converse sneakers with their tuxedos. I thought my mother was going to faint when she saw that. LOL 😆 Not my cup of tea either but I wouldn’t dream of saying anything to my godchild. Like you say, it’s their wedding!
It sounds perfect for a low key wedding!
It boggles my mind how much some people spend on their weddings!
Yes , the doctor told my father that all things considered he was lucky and they did not expect him to have the good results that he had with treatments . It gave him 6 years when they had told him he had 6 months left. After chemo my father had Keytruda ( immunotherapy ) when it first came out . They only offered Keytruda once they saw he had had good results from chemo first .
Well my frugal daughter wants a “somewhat” less formal event . So I needed something not so formal . It’s a crinkled chiffon almost straight column maxi dress .But the fabric is cut in such a way that it naturally gathers from the knee down in pretty waves and flares out just enough at the very bottom . Very pretty shape and moves nice . It’s mostly muted , random shades of dark green and some dark blue as well . It reminds me of the ocean up here in the NorthEast . It has a scoop neck and short sleeves . The sleeves do not have lining , so they are transparent . I like that it’s not a solid color for a change . ( I wore a solid navy wrap maxi dress for my son’s wedding , that I bought online for his small low key Covid wedding ).
For this green/blue dress I think the neckline needs maybe alittle (silver) bling added to dress it up a bit or look for a good necklace for scoop neckline . It can be dressed up or dressed down ( to appear boho ) depending on accessories and shoes . It’s very versatile . I will probably wear silver shoes .
I belong to a huge international Facebook Stage 4 Melanoma group of many thousands of people. So many of them have been thru SO many treatments and SO much anguish pain and suffering, with no good results, it's awful. So many die and I read about it all the time. For some, the therapy is miraculous while for OTHERS, it's all pain and side effects with no reduction in tumors. In fact, they keep on multiplying. Its such an aggressive form of cancer.
Tell us about your dress! Hey, great deal too!
Lea is the queen of getting good deals! Love hearing about her estate sale bargains!
Both of you are smart women, know what you are looking for and snatch it up. Good for you!
I am wondering if my youngest daughter will be getting married or moving in with her guy. They seem smitten with each other.
They know more than when my Dad was first diagnosed close to 25 years ago . Perhaps if they had done more treatment than just surgery , he may not have had it come back 15 years later.
As for the dress , I have not seen it but after what you’ve been through I would be surprised if your daughter would care what you wore , so long as you are there on her wedding day . You will look great in whatever you choose because you will have a smile !!
I actually bought a mother of the bride dress for myself recently on Etsy $45 , never worn , tags on it , brand new . Fits great . No alterations needed, as it’s a straight column dress . I just can’t gain weight .😬🙄😂.
Golden, good idea to wear it around the house and try going to the bathroom with it on to get a feel for the aggravation factor.
GG, I was born to dress up! I'm never plain and simple and if I have to wear a Depends at my daughter's wedding, I'm staying HOME! 🤣😂
I'll check with DD about what she has in mind for me, if anything, but we have polar opposite tastes. I'm more Boho and unstructured clothing while she's way more traditional.
Thank you all for the kind words about my doctor visit today. I was quite stunned to hear him say what he did, actually. I remain vigilant and skeptical but HOPEFUL at the same time.
As for the dress, it is not one I would want to wear simply because I'm not a dress-up person. I prefer things as plain and simple as possible. But it really doesn't matter what I think, it is what you feel most comfortable in.
My sister addressed her MOB issue of going to the bathroom by wearing Depends that day! If it took too much time to get the clothes "arranged" for sitting on the commode, at least she didn't make a mess and could just put on clean Depends. She does have bladder urgency, so Depends were an absolute must for the wedding day.
Whoooopie!!
I was thinking about the same thing with the bathroom issue. At my age now, 68. I am always thinking about comfort. We still like good style but we become more sensible as we age!
You mentioned jumpsuits. I bet this is one reason why two piece bathing suits came about.
I think about how I wore heels to work daily. Gosh, I hardly ever wear heels anymore.
Personally I hope you keep it and even wear it around the house a bit to see how you can manage it before you decide what to wear it to or whether to keep it.
Looking for other gowns is good too. Why not check with dd to see what she thinks? Or any friend whose opinion you value. I can see you in it and I agree with the royalty comment.
Wow - what Dr. C. said!!! It's in my heart for you to stay in remission. That is my prayer.
Did they pick out the cake yet? Wedding cakes are delicious!
My DD is allowing her bridesmaids to pick out their own dresses in a certain color. Hers is pretty fancy lace, but no bling.
I can never hate you, so no worries about giving your opinion. If I didn't want them, I wouldn't have posted the link and asked "What do you think?" I may wind up keeping this gown AND looking for other dresses as well, I'm not sure yet. I needed to order this one though bc it's super gorgeous and unique!
And I am so happy your PET scan is still showing up clean!!
How wonderful to hear your news about your scan! Yay!