It's been a wonderful last 4 months with mom with a few bad weeks here and there and we have been so blessed. But this week, the Hospice nurse said that mom is deteriorating fast right now. Her kidneys seem to be shutting down at a faster rate and is starting to reject the catheter. Her bowels aren't moving anymore on their own and she's now dealing with a pressure sore that Hospice is trying to keep under control and is extremely painful. Dad gives her pain pills but refuses to keep her on them all day because she sleeps and he can't feed her. In his mind, if she doesn't eat, she will die. All the food he is putting in her is doing nothing, absolutely nothing.....she is skin and bones. We have noticed spots on her legs developing and I'm not sure if that means anything. It's just not looking good right now, she's getting as bad or worse than she was months ago. I don't think her body can overcome it this time, but the nurse said with mom's past rallying history, who knows and that God is in control. Dad is still in denial that she is so close to going home, I know he knows it, but he won't talk about it and he gets upset if anyone does. Dad's 85 and mom's 82 and they've been married 67 years. I guess I would be in denial too if I had been with my wife that long. I'm praying she makes it through Christmas just for dad's sake. My brothers and I have accepted that mom won't be with us for long, but it's still so hard watching your mom die and your dad's heart breaking. Please pray for us all, especially dad. Thank you!
Blessings,
Vicky
We are never quite prepared to say goodbye.
Wishing you peace during this difficult time in your lives.
Hugs!!
I am so, so sorry to read that your mom is rapidly deteriorating after so many good months and rallying. I feel terrible for your dear dad as I know he hasn't been able to handle the reality of where this has all been heading. You're right after 67 years of marriage I'm sure he simply cannot fathom his life with her.
I'm thankful he has you and your brothers during all of this and that you all have come to the realization and acceptance that your mom's time appears to be very short. I am praying along with you that she can make it through Christmas especially for your dad. I've personally known several people along with losing my FIL and MIL during the holidays and it's so hard especially when they've been such happy times in your lives.
As for the spots on her legs developing, if it looks like mottling of the skin causing a red or purplish marbled appearance, that is one of the signs that the heart is no longer able to pump blood effectively, the blood pressure slowly drops and blood flow throughout the body slows causing the extremities to begin to feel cold to the touch. I remember hospice showing my dad's legs to me when that occurred and he was nearing the end.
You and your family will be on my mind and in my prayers during this difficult time -
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10
God be with all of you.