I had a friend ask me recently what I would do once my Mom is not around to care for.... I had to think...
Aside from maybe caring for my brother and/or sister, I would get back to the gym...I would also like to spend a few times per year visiting my daughter, who lives 8 hours away.... But, maybe the first thing I would do is clean my house.... My husband has been very supportive of my going to Mom's every day and staying until after dinner time. But, a thorough house cleaner he is not :-)....
How about you? What would you do?
I really like the idea of your friend's addition of her mother's favorite saying in her quilts.
You've offered some good suggestions - lap quilts for Vets. I've been thinking about seat quilts as well. I noted that some SNFs don't even have pads for wheelchairs, and those chairs are NOT comfortable.
Another thing I've considered is painting flowers and other decorations on walker legs. I met someone on a DIY forum who did this; she said she couldn't keep enough walkers painted to meet the demand. I thought also of the addition of artificial flowers along the front bar to make the walker more like a device of beauty instead of a piece of durable medical equipment.
And go for the hiking. That's something I want to do as well. PM me if you want a link to a great backpacker's forum
OldSailor, do you do any woodworking? Building? I'm curious about crocheting with paracord. Can you elaborate? What kinds of items do you crochet? Have you thought about teaching a class to other men? That would really be unique!
As to basic sewing, I used to teach it through community ed courses, but the room already had sewing machines, so it was much easier than schools which aren't equipped with the machines.
On food courses, do you have any natural health oriented hospitals that have cooking courses? In our area, Henry Ford Health System is a leader in natural foods and natural healing. It has a greenhouse on its suburban campus in which it grows organic produce which is used for the hospital meals and also sold at a weekly farmer's market in the hospital office building.
I've gotten ideas from everyone else who's posted here. This is a thread to which I'll refer as I move forward in my own journey.
To be in a place where you can reclaim any part of your life and friends, and know that you did your best for the person who was the best; your mom.
Really, there’s no excuse now.
But man did I crash, once I was able to abandon “performance mode.”
The sh*t we learn about ourselves. And others!
Starting in June the year after Mom's passing, things changed. My daughter and her kids moved out and into their own home (she'd been living with me for a year). I made several long trips for family-related things -son's graduation from high school in another state, taking Mom's ashes to where she wanted us to put them, a trip many states long to my son's military graduation, and then to drive him back to his home and attend his graduation party. Two months later, another long trip with family. It really helped put things in perspective about how free I was to come and go and do things I wanted to do. This year, my focus is more on building my business and expanding it to its full potential, which means higher income for me, which means more ability to travel and do the things I want to do, including helping others. :-)
I do find that aside from the travel, I've become a bit of a hermit. I love just being home, alone with my cat and dog. I enjoy company, travel and spending time with family, but I really do love to get back home to my peace and quiet. So many years of caring for others (kids, spouse, parents, etc) - my whole adult life - and I'm thankful to have time to myself now. And that's exactly what I wished for the whole time I was caregiving. I don't really find myself feeling lonely or longing for company very often. I see my daughter and grandkids every week, and talk to family online or on the phone. For now, that works for me.
I would spend some time at our shooting sports park. Maybe find a fishing hole to linger about.
Try to finish some projects around the house.
Do some more crocheting with para cord.
Continue to be on here trying to offer assistance to those starting their journey where I have been.
Look for personal improvement classes. like basic sewing and cooking.
I think for me, I would be doing the same things I do now, only with an empty spot next to me.
Baby cuddling sounds so sweet and such a wonderful thing to do.
Mapotter- keep the ideas coming, you are throwing a lot of good ideas out there.
I didn't submit my question with the idea of giving people suggestions of how they could spend their time (obviously I don't know what others enjoy doing), but I makes me want to throw ideas out that I have thought of for myself....
I often thought of being a baby cuddler. There are Cuddler Programs for premature at babies local hospitals.
There is a neighborhood website called Nextdoor in my area (maybe in yours, too). Someone inquired if there was anyone interested in starting a hiking group. That is something I would like to look into when I have the time.
Also, a friend where I used to work does quilting. Her mother was also a quilter and would get together with neighborhood ladies at her house to do that. After my friend's mother died last year, my friend still gets together with her mom's friends on weekends and quilts with them (at her mom's house in another state). She also embroidered her Mom's favorite saying and incorporates that in every quilt. My friend said there is sense of peace at her Mom's house.
How about making lap quilts for the veterans in wheelchairs?
cwillie, what about a receptionist job at a hospital? I see many older people at the registration desk at a local hospital where I live (Maryland). Or at a church? (I have thought of that...) Also, a neighbor of my Mom's took a job as a receptionist at a funeral home. I don't know if I'd like that, but....
I love everyone's replies!
I used to teach quilting, sewing and crochet, and would like to get back to that, but only during the day. What I also want to do is expand it into a healing program for Veterans. Quilting is very relaxing, and can be absorbing, and I was thinking it could help Vets in conflict after in-country service. I've been thinking about this for a few years now.
Sometimes things happen in strange ways. I picked up a VFW magazine in the lobby of the SNF on the day I last visited my father. One article addressed Veterans struggling to live with inadequate food; it's really and truly a crisis.
Well, I have a garden of about 6K square feet, and I can easily add more veggies. So I'm thinking now about how to connect not just with the VA but with Vets in need. I know there are some privacy issues, so I have much more research to do. I may contact one of the local food pantries and find out if any have programs specifically for Vets.
And, something for myself... I've always wanted to continue ballet. Even pushing 74 I want to take classes. I've found a woman who teaches ballet to older women, including those in my age range. So getting in shape for ballet is one of my prime goals. If I lose motivation, I take out a pair of pointe shoes given to me by a friend, and just caress them. It's a potent reminder of my goal.
Thanks for posting such a relevant question, and allowing us to share our dreams of post-caregiving life.
I've tried to figure out what real people actually DO in retirement, contrary to all the advice columns I can't afford to travel the world and I'd much rather work for pay than volunteer, but of course I can't find a job that wouldn't be more physically and/or mentally difficult than I'm currently willing to commit to.
I have no idea what to do.