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This isn't helpful, but my mother talked their ear off telling them all her bodily complaints. They hung up on her. Locking credit is best.
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Karencd Jan 2020
Lol!
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My mom would give info out to whomever asked, changed the electric carrier for a $50 gift card. When I changed it back we had no bill for months! I turned off the ringer. Her dementia is too advanced for her to make a call. All the calls are forwarded to my cell phone. We call her sister through Alexa ,it can call anyone in my phones contact list. I live with her and she is never alone.
Maybe a cell phone with those important people in the contacts. Their names would be on the screen when they call. Different ringer sounds can be set for the people on close friends list, the rest of the callers could be set to something that doesn't sound like a phone, like a water drip, etc. Once the memory gets worse, nothing will work...
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Indiana offers a CapTel phone for free for hearing loss elderly. It teletypes the message which is great as I don't have to yell on my end and its not so good with hearing aides. You can also input numbers and names. Mom knows if a name does not show up its a scam and not to answer. I showed her my cell phone blocked numbers portion to show her how many scammers call me. As I tried to call back each number is was the recording the number you have dialed is not a working number... So she sees how easy and to anyone. We got rid of land lines many years ago. This feeds off the magic jack off the wifi. Magic Jack costs me like $36 a year and she can call anyone in the US. Just food for thought. Mom didn't want to get rid of landline but as I told her everyone calls me on cell and we would be giving her new # to like 10 people... Just food for thought...
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I feel for you...my mother has fallen for phone scams (your computer has bugs and we need to perform "whatever" to fix it..oh by the way it will cost you $150.00 plus) and has fallen for the scam where she wound up buying a bunch of gift cards and wound up costing the bank over $3K and losing her checking account (the bank did not come back to her for the money but they did send a nice letter ending their financial relationship) and I wound up getting her an account that was a sub-account to mine so I can monitor daily what is going on . Recently, something popped up on her computer stating her checking account had been accessed (not true) and I walked in just as she was trying to give them access to the computer. All of this happened in the last 18 months. She is pretty good at hanging up on the calls now but continues to answer her phone on the off chance it is my brother or sister calling. It doesn't get easier.
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If it gets too bad, just turn the darn thing off for a few hours. or the day. Especially around election time....
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write a list of names and facilities from most important to least. Do get the phone that says loudly who the number belongs to. My neighbor has it. Oh it's grandkids school calling again, late start tomrrow, she didn't bother answering it.
It's my granddaughter,, got to get it... It works for her. I think you have to enter the names for phone to recognize... Not sure. One Man called my mom when I was visiting.. I was so angry. I called him back and said: How Dare you ask a senior citiszen for her Social Security numbe.r Don't you have a mother? How would you feel? It still angers me there are people out there doing that stuff.
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Karencd Jan 2020
I wasn't so lucky. Whenever I want to call the numbers back (and sometimes there is no number), I can't get anyone.
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If the phone goes straight to voice mail, and keep it low, perhaps she won't hear it. And tell her she can screen the call... If They Leave A Message. it might be of some importance, but the most are Non issue callers, usually hang up..



Get her used to saying that she is the babysitter, the parents will be home later. can I take a message? If they say anything but yes, just hang up the phone. No reason to be nice.
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Gaylynn, go to your mother's cell phone's network provider's website and see what they offer in the way of call minder services. You may be pleasantly surprised :)
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Is this her house phone or cell phone? I ask because there are phones and or phone services that offer call blocking, some you need actually push a button when you get a call from a number you want to block and others you can have it only put through calls from numbers you tell it are OK the way you can with some smart phones. Maybe something like this would help?
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Lymie61 Jan 2020
My dad has a phone system that announces the name of the caller too, not sure if that might help...
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Caller ID is unreliable and cannot be trusted. Scammers can easily spoof numbers so you have no idea if the number on your caller ID is correct.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2020
I have even received calls from my own number! Stupid robocalls...
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Cell phones are easy to block unwanted calls. My LG had a feature that only those on my contacts list ring thru. The others go to VM or drop off when it rings into VM. Those calls you can get into her VM and delete. If you see the same number is calling all the time, then u block it.

On my Samsung, I have it set to Do Not Disturb. By doing that I can tell set it for contacts only ring thru. I can also block a certain number.

I have caller ID on my landline phone. I only pick up those phone # and names I know.

I too drumed it into my Mom that when asked for money or info she was to say her daughter handled her finances. And she did this. My DHs Aunt lets them talk and then tells them she is not interested. I tell her just hang up.
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We tried a device called the CPR call blocker - available on amazon - and if the person remembers to push the red button to block the scam caller then that number is no longer able to call through. My mom doesn't consistently remember to do that. She has been scammed by these phone low-lifes to the tune of about $20,000 in the past year (all was recovered/cancelled) but with each incident I have wrestled additional pieces of financial freedom from her. I have her credit cards, check book, Social Security and Medicare cards, and now I also have her debit card that was cancelled after the last event. Thankfully she is living in assisted living and does not need money on a daily basis. She answers the calls and talks ever so nicely and politely to the people on the other end!! SMH.
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I have the big sign next to the phone that says *I don't know call my daughter*
Well now with the dementia she never even answers the phone. EXCEPT a couple of weeks ago. Someone called and asked her for her SS#. She couldn't remember it so she went and got it out of her purse and gave it to them. The caregiver arrived just as she repeated her SS# to the caller. Of course it was on caller ID and when you call it it is a number that is not in service. I spent an hour on the phone setting up Lifelock.
When I asked her why on earth she would give her SS# to a scam artist on the phone! She said well he asked for it. Ahhhh dementia.
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needtowashhair Jan 2020
Caller ID means nothing. You can set that to anything. People don't realize how wide open phone communications are. If you know what you are doing, you can listen into anyone's conversation from anywhere in the world.

I would have spent that hour freezing her credit and banking reports. It's free to do now and happens instantly. That's the best way to avoid the big consequences of identity theft. Everyone should freeze their reports regardless of age. There's no reason not to anymore. Before when it cost $10 a pop and took days to unfreeze, it was costly and a hassle. But now you can freeze/unfreeze for free and it happens instantly.

You can get credit monitoring for free. Some credit card companies offer it.
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Sign her number up with NoMoRobo.com. They don't block eery call, but the number will drop drastically within minutes of signing up. Also, you text any scam numbers that get through, and they add them to their database. They're easy to spot on the caller ID because they'll show up just a number with no name, or they'll say "Unknown Caller," or be the same area code and first three digits of her own number.

NoMoRobo.com is free for VOIP lines, but I think there's a monthly fee for cell phones. It isn't available on landlines as far as I know.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jan 2020
Thanks for this info! Those calls are so annoying for the elderly. The text messages too.
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Do you live with your mom or is she living on her own or in AL? Her faulty memory will prevent any real solution to this (been there, done that). I resorted to having her calls diverted to my phone so that I at least could answer calls from her doctors or other important communications. Robo calls are now outlawed, so those should drop off dramatically. Maybe you will need to be with her and help her call out to her friends. Honestly if her memory is that compromised I'd be making sure she's remembering to eat. That's what happened to my MIL. Good luck!
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It’s so hard to get them not to answer the phone. They feel it may be an important call. Sometimes it is. Sometimes doctor’s offices call to reschedule doctor visits because the doctor won’t be in the office that day.

It’s not always from the same number as the number patients call, so it’s tricky.

Block numbers. I receive so many robo calls. Blocking does no good because another one pops up. It’s such a pain.
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You must have call guardian services of some sort, haven't you? These are automated systems which intercept calls before the phone rings in the home. Unrecognised callers get a message asking them to state their name. The system then rings the phone in the home, the subscriber hears the recorded name, and if it's approved the call is put through.

You can program them so that authorised numbers get through without being intercepted, I believe (I don't have one myself, my SIL has and I think I'm on her approved list!).
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My dad used to do this. He got so far with a scammer once that he was asking me to tell her his SSN. After that we had to implement a phone screening policy. Never pick up the phone unless they leave a message and you know who it is.

You can cut down on this by switching from real phone service to VOIP or cell. You can transfer the number if you want to keep it. Both VOIP and cell have much better filter options for filtering out scammers. That's why there is much less telemarketing calls on cell phones than hardlines. If you want, you can even setup a VOIP service to work exactly like a hardline. Your mom can even use the exact same phone. She'll never know it's VOIP.
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gaylynn Jan 2020
She has a cell phone, but not a computer. I'm not sure how having a cell phone will help this situation. The calls that come through are just random phone numbers, just like we get on our landline. We just never answer our landline. But, mom is so afraid that she might miss a call from an old friend that she answers without thinking. I've told her if it's a friend that's not in her contact list they will leave a message. But, that doesn't help when her faulty memory doesn't remember that. Also, her cell phone is the old flip phone, not a smart phone. Probably not many options.
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We printed a sheet up, with large print, near her phone. 

If someone you don't know calls --

"My daughter handles all my money, you really have to call her, at xxx.xxx.xxxx.  Thank you and have a great day"
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gaylynn Jan 2020
This may be the best option. I could make a large sign that is right below her television, in front of her chair that she can refer to if it's someone she doesn't know. I will try that. Thank you
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My mom also loved the phone. She had been a telephone operator in her early years and it was like an extension of her hand. She's forgotten how to use it now, but she always answered every ring before she went to assisted living. Luckily, she is a suspicious person, so she never gave information out, but she called the police by accident several times while trying to call time and temperature - similar numbers. She must have been the only person in modern times who used the phone to find out the time and temperature. Does your mom even know any of the information someone might get out of her? Mom mom doesn't any longer. She answers every question that stumps her with "ask my daughter". I wonder if there is some way you could instill in your mom that all questions should be directed to you.
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cherokeegrrl54 Jan 2020
I had to laugh at the comment about calling time and temp. My mom was an operator in the 50s-60s when they had to actually place a plug into the board....and until a few months ago when i got her an iphone, she stilled dialed the time and temp #....now she just looks at the weather channel ap.....she is 86 and relatively healthy for her age....but she still is getting used to her new phone....
🤣🤣
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It might sound cruel, but if she has a life alert device that would enable her to call for help if needed--maybe take the phone away, if it's a situation where she might give out information that would lead to someone scamming her or stealing from her. Or perhaps she could be set up with a phone that is good for 911 calls only? Of course that would prevent you from being able to receive calls from her. Depending on your phone service maybe some calls can be blocked. Are there any activities she enjoys or that she might enjoy that would keep her from missing the phone? Do you live close enough that you or others see her daily to check on her if she goes without a cell phone so that you can take care of day to day needs? If someone is living in the house with her, maybe she'd be able to go without a cell phone.
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gaylynn Jan 2020
My brother and I discussed taking her phone away. That is definitely not an option. We moved her away from her friends over a year ago. Her phone is her only way to keep those communication lines open. Also, she has sisters, my brother and of course myself. She would not fair well without her phone. She is scared to death that she might break her phone and I know it's because it's her lifeline to the world (her friends/family). She is pretty self sufficient for a person her age. It's her periodic memory loss that causes her to forget my warnings.
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I wish I knew.. My mom is from the generation that if the phone rang you answered it,, it would be someone you knew. Now with Robocalls and scammers its impossible to get her to adjust. She thinks she can outsmart them. We only have a land line because she could not figure out a cell phone! Luckily her hearing is bad.. so she often does not hear it ring,, and when we are home she lets it for us.
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