Dear all,
this forum has been of great help to me in the past few years, so I felt tonight to give back something that I hope can be useful to all of you watching the news about COVID19.
I'm writing you from Milan, Italy, now in complete lockdown.
Both my mom and I are fine, even if everything feels very unreal; today is the 3rd day we are just at home, without going out even 1 minute. Milan has become a ghost town, everything is closed except food shops and pharmacies. There’s an unreal silence night and day.
It feels like living in a movie, and everything happened so fast that we can’t wrap our minds around it, yet.
Things I wish I knew from the very start.
1. This is NOT just a heavy flue. There’s been a lot confusion in the beginning over here, many people on TV including doctors were saying this was just a heavy flue, so people kept going out and about. The mortality rate we are having in this very moment is 7,16%. It is not as bad as SARS or MERS but it's still more dangerous than a simple flue and it's extremely fast.
2. Despite what the government and many people keep saying, it is not true that just old people die and that they all had underlying conditions: doctors from inside hospitals are telling us that people perfectly healthy and in their 40s arrive in intensive care every day. Please be careful and protect yourself.
3. Plastic gloves make you feel much safer. I have learned from the Chinese to use toothpicks to touch elevators and atm machines buttons. This will save gloves.
3. If you buy a mask, be warned that most of them are not re-usable.
You probably know it already, I didn't. I just had 2 masks and now I feel scared to go out without one. Not a nice feeling.
4. A good mask DOES make a difference; in China many people who didn't catch the virus were the only ones wearing a mask in indoor spaces.
5. The first things that finished in supermarkets over here have been: alcohol, hands disinfectant, gloves, fruit.
6. If you are thinking at home delivery from supermarkets be aware that in an emergency scenario (that hopefully won't happen to any of you) websites will be so overwhelmed by orders that they will stop functioning. It took me 2 days to finally be able to order online and book a delivery slot and by the time I finally managed to make the order many things weren't available anymore. I'm not saying this to scare you, meaning that food is not a problem over here, at all, it's the amount of orders.
7. I didn't realize that the real reason to stock up some food is not that food won't be delivered to supermarkets anymore, is that people will buy the impossible and many things won't be available anymore. So DO stock up some, at least for 2/3 weeks.
8. Another thing I didn't anticipate is that the biggest worry I have at the moment is not catching the virus, or contaging my mother, even if yes, I'm a bit scared; the most preoccupying thing is that all hospitals are completely full, we don’t have a health system at the moment except than for COVID19, and this is something I have never experienced in my whole life.
9. I have put all helpers in holiday leave, a few days before the government ordered the lockdown and prohibition to move from home( which we actually fully share and support); this means that I'm alone with my mom and my cat. The sense of responsability is ten times stronger than normal, and it was already strong. I would say it's almost overwhelming sometime.
10. If you are alone, like I am, get some tranquillizers for bad moments; I have also bought some Rescue Remedy and it's helping me a lot.
11. We are experiencing an AMAZING support system around us; the government suspended all taxes, loans, fines, even parking fees, friends are calling us from all over the world and the international community at large has been so supportive it's really moving us, and all this is so, so important I can't even tell you. We are deeply grateful. We'll win this, all together ! with love
Crazy how we are experiencing the same things, at all levels.
Last month I would wake up at 4am every morning. Now it's better. I think our minds and body are making a huge work of adjustment to this new reality, like when you get inside a hot tub and you have to do it slowly, then finally you are in the water and it doesn't feel that hot anymore. This at least how I feel now, I'm in the water, this is my reality now.
As for domestic violence exploding: in Italy hotlines for support have been warning about how few calls they would receive these days, even from their "regulars", simply because women in abusive families are never alone anymore. Husbands don't go to work, women can't go out. They don't have any moment left to call for help.
There have been days when news such as this were just endless, and everywhere. Women killed, pets abandoned for fear of contagions, migrants stranded on boats and dying at sea cause no country would open the harbours, children left alone at home with both parents in a hospital, people without food, wildlife without food, my neighbour's wife and kid both severely ill at home completely isolated while he's dying in a hospital, my friends falling sick, my mom's friend, the doctor, who died without saying goodbye to his wife after a month-long fight...
I'm an INFJ by MBTI. Being an empath just doesn't cover the level of misery and pain I experience when I know someone, person or animal, is suffering.
I'm really not saying this to say I'm such a good person, at all. I actually hate being like this, cause it's like the pain, the suffering is happening to me, nothing short of this.
I had to find a way to cope to survive, spiritually and emotionally.
So perhaps what I'm going to say is very selfish, or unrealistic.
But the only way for me - beside stopping reading the news for days at end - has been focusing on the idea of the huge, sudden shift that is occuring at once, with consequences that perhaps would have never been possible without this virus.
I'm trying to think that many more women will be now really forced to leave homes where life has become unsustainable. That animals that are abandoned have now a huge attention by animal rights groups and are being rescued in huge numbers and perhaps will find more loving families, cause a family who adopts a dog or a cat right now is more likely to keep them for life. That illegal migrants, like is happening in Italy while I write, will be finally legalized and will have residency permits because our country needs workers for agricolture, urgently, since the seasonal workers from other countries can't travel anymore. And the government is scared that we won't be able to trace down positive people if they don't have documents and a social security number.
It's crazy, cause these are very selfish, self-preserving reasons, they are not humanitarian in the least.
Still, they are achieving results that nothing else has managed to achieve for years. This, without even mentioning the dramatic change in air pollution and global warming that lockdowns are producing.
I apologize for another long post. And for mixing so many elements.
But while I was reading the news last night I found myself spontaneously connecting all these dots and thinking, it's like our planet / God / Nature / The Universe, whatever you prefer, got really fed up about our half-assed attempts, general propositions and good will without real action and now is literally forcing upon us these choices, in a make-it-or-break it way.
Having said all this, no, intellectualism in not enough.
I'm not observant of any religion, but I'm with you; I'm praying the Universe too, so much, to give all of us the strentgh to be up to this huge, painful and exceptional task.
I know there are lessons to be learned from all this. I just pray that the people who need to learn them do so.
Love to all in Italy, New York, and throughout the world.🙏
Love to all of you.
Time
2020-04-16 09:42:53 (UTC)
Location
44.730°N 9.425°E
Depth
10.0 km
If this was a movie, I wouldn't go watch it, you would think nah, that's just too much in one single movie. There you go. Sigh.
Our numbers in NYC appear to be dropping, but we need a few more days of downward trend before we can say it's a real "trend".
Thank you for your ongoing posts and your perseverance in the face of adversity. I think they make us all fell hopeful that we will see the light soon. (((((Hugs))))))
I started writing here what I thought was going to be a single post as a just-in-case, remote warning, to all of you. Then you all saved my life while I was in the midst of the same terror. Now I'm keeping writing for the very reason you say, to prove that I'm still alive, and that yes, this horrendous darkness we are experiencing, even here, CAN recede.
I don't think that people elsewhere in my country have a faint idea of what we lived here. But I know, I really know, how you must be feeling right now. What NY and Milan have been bracing is beyond words.
Things here are much better. I do feel, and think, and am better than just 10 days ago. I will keep posting. I will keep you in my thoughts. We WILL make it.
with much love
x Arwen
Good afternoon!
Still following your letters to us, and I am appreciative that you stay in touch, letting us know how you are.
Did you feel that earthquake a few days ago, far from you but reported felt in Milan? Do you need some [[[Hugs]]] Arwen?
Sending a hello, and many hugs from California, USA!!
This morning at about 4 a.m., my Tweety bird (a parakeet, budgie) was making some noise in his cage, so I went to the U.S.G.S. site to check if it was an earthquake not felt. Then I saw one in your area.
We may all get through this hard time Arwen. Refresh your strength and resolve, and allow a little more time to pass by.
Keep your routine schedule, and know that you are thought of often.
I didn't feel the earthquake at all, where was that?! We had one quite close in Croatia at the end of March which caused substantial damage and 1 fatality in Zagreb. People didn't know if they were supposed to follow the shelter in place order for COVID or to run outdoor as you do during a strong earthquake. It must have been so stressful, I can't think about the possibility of a earthquake right now.
As for animals feeling things before they happen, I'm not surpised you trust your parakeet (what a cool pet to have, btw!).
This is something I haven't shared with anybody before because it seems a bit weird, but back in November 2019 my cat started meowing much more than usual. He's pretty vocal, normally, but in November he started meowing in a new, agitated way. He could go on for hours and nobody could understand why. I called the vet, she said she was hearing the same complain about many cats in Milan and since the cat had just been checked and was physically allright she couldn't suggest anything specific except some natural remedies to calm him down. Nothing worked. He kept meowing and meowing until the end of February. When the whole COVID drama exploded, he just stopped. So, so weird.
I didn't put the two things together until recently, but I really think now that he felt it and wanted to warn us. For this (and other more scientific reasons) I'm now pretty sure that this virus has been here since November 2019. More than ever I'm also convinced now that the moment we'll heal our relationship with animals at large we will find our real cure for us, and for this planet.
Thank you again for your message and encouragement.
Sending you and all beautiful California much love
x Arwen
This past week has been the hardest.
Numbers in Italy are going down, but not in the rest of the world, and not in Milan. For weeks we've been hanging onto every little crumble of hope, but news, rules, strategies have started being chaotic, and so the behaviour of people.
We know now that the number of real contagions is much, much wider than the official one, everywhere. We still don't know when we'll be able to move from here and if we'll be tested, and how. Each region is doing a different thing. Many people have started going out.
The deep sense of connection has started vanishing.
I have felt very angry, with everyone. With people that I see from my window without a mask. With a friend telling me that "the cure is worse than the illness" and that people are starting losing it if the government won't "free" us soon.
I think of doctors, nurses, pharmacists, people working in supermarkets that have to face their fear every day, and these trite common places seem to me a symptom of the illness itself, of the old world we should put behind our shoulders, the weak, selfish, self-centered, thoughtless attitude and lack of discipline that brought us exactly where we are. I think at the meaning of the word Freedom, what it really means, if we were really free before.
I've been nervous with my mother, too. I do resent the situation we are in, the huge amount of work I have to do, the fact that I'm alone to decide everything, the times she just won't listen to me, which inevitably brings more work, more worry, more tiredness.
Then again, I think. If I am to survive this, the answer to all these problems is not in the tests, it's not in a date, it's not in my mother suddenly reasoning as she used to. It is in me. In how I can adapt, in how I can pace myself, realising that I'm in for the long haul as everybody else in this, in how I manage to find my freedom in the small things. The very small things. So small that they come to existance just when we really pay attention, in the here, and in the now.
This invisible space is my new hope, is the only hope that I can offer at the moment. It is truly tiny, but perhaps it can contain more than we can see now.
"The future enters into us, in order to transform itself in us, long before it happens."
-Rainer Maria Rilke
I think of all of you, every day.
with love
x Arwen
We will forget that we are staying home for the nurses and doctors, because they can't stay home. It will be a fight, today with words, that the cure is worse than the illness, as the daily count in NY is steadily at 700 per day. Every day.
You have resolve to slow down, to try to be patient, to enjoy the small things, like Willy and the yard.
We do our part, for others, for health care workers, for our family. Thank you for your resolve.
Find joy today friend.
Italy stole my heart many, many years ago. I celebrated my 21st birthday in Venice. So many wonderful memories.
There is hope.
Life goes on.
Hugs and prayers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTVXEGIS3LE
It's the Philarmonic of the main theatre of my city, playing for each one of us, from their homes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Q4k6PiXBNA
We are closer to you than you can imagine.
With much love, from Milan
x Arwen
In Colorado we howl at 8pm and set off fireworks. It's funny that people's dogs howl with us. A police car was sitting in the street outside our house last night when we went out to howl. She got out of her car and asked us to howl louder. The fireworks a couple blocks away are illegal. She did nothing about it.
I visit my mom on phones through her bedroom window in assisted living. She is doing fine so far, but we have had a lot of outbreaks of the virus in our senior care facilities here in Colorado. It's my main worry right now, but I do have hope for humanity, that we learn from this, do with less, take care of our planet, and love each other more.
I feel a bit like I have been sensory deprived, but wonder if I may develop new preferences and might even end up better as a result. For example, I have not had any sweets or sugary soft drinks. I have not been wearing uncomfortable shoes. I put on red lipstick yesterday and it was so vivid I felt like a cartoon character. I saw someone on a reality show with false eyelashes, and she looked like a clown to me. This is just IMO only. Through all this, I am finding ways to cope with exercise, mindfulness, and meditation. I make sure to smile when my neighbor's young children can see me in my yard. I already knew what was not working in my life, but have re-learned a few things that are helping me greatly. I hope that what can be learned during this time to put anyone's life in a positive direction is indeed realized.
While I'm writing this, a new thought just occurred to me; perhaps we can't see a way out because we are not ready, yet?
Thank you for reminding me of the important things.
How are you? I hope this message finds you in good spirits. I so appreciate you and have been thinking about you. I have enjoyed reading others posts too. We are definitely blessed to be in community here.
I appreciate that you have said that this is a marathon, not a sprint and I have said this to my husband who and son who live 1500 miles away, and to friends, and my son and daughterinlaw who are living with me. We will all need patience, grace for one another, and to allow ourselves to be sad, but not stay there.
I haven't been sleeping well, I've been up every night, so I try to read. I know just laying there isn't helpful. Even though I am still working, mostly from home, I am finding it difficult to keep a schedule. I sometimes drive in the field and check on our plant nursery about an hour away. I drive by myself and don't share my vehicle. I told my supervisor yesterday that I don't want to share a vehicle and she said that's fine until we have turn our vehicles in, which will be soon, I don't know how soon..so then my only choice would be to drive my own car (not 4WD which I need sometimes) or take a leave of absence.
I will do one or the other but I decided I would rather not work than share a vehicle. Then I will join the out of work, which is a scary prospect but the better alternative.
I heard Bill Gates, Microsoft, say you can rebuild the economy, you can't bring people back from the dead. I know you know that's not being dramatic. But people are actually still working (my son's coffee shop is still open even though the workers are worried, but they haven't quit yet), as are many other companies. Mostly young people, but I'm sure not all, are concerned about earning money and cannot see the invisible risk. So they hope they are doing the right things, washing their hands, not breathing too deeply behind their mask, covering their tracks.
Again, if you need me to send you groceries, I will. Please do not hesitate to ask me. Ask me.
Lisa.underwood@yahoo.com. Do not do without. If I can get them to you I will.
I hope you and Willy are enjoying each other and your evening breath of outdoors air is sweet. God bless you friend, and thank you for being there for us too.
Love, gratefultoday
We are ok. I gave up on online food so I will have to go out tomorrow but I do have a mask now :))) Will write more about this asap.
"We will all need patience, grace for one another, and to allow ourselves to be sad, but not stay there."
This is very wise. It's a fine balance, isn't it, that we have to recreate daily, between being honest with ourselves and feel our feelings and finding the strentgh to keep going and doing what we must do.
These days I have to give myself much more time to process things ; I felt very unproductive the first few days, until I realized that facing this requires another rhythm and a different way to be present in the world. Our world is truly changing at the speed of light, and so are we.
About sharing the car, I would have done the same.
You know, in the first couple of weeks I feared that I was going to become avoidant, reclusive and selfish; now I think it's just an instinctive protection. We simply need to buy ourselves time, to understand what we are facing, to test our strengths, or to simply wrap our minds to what's happening...
I'm sure we will learn how to interact and sharing with people again, but this is not the moment. At least not physically.
"I heard Bill Gates, Microsoft, say you can rebuild the economy, you can't bring people back from the dead."
This is what I think, too. I think that there will be time to talk about the economy, at the moment we truly have to stop. Suspend our world for a couple of months. It will be difficult to start again, and we'll probably have to do it in a different way, but first of all we have to keep (each other) alive.
Yes, this is a real marathon, I'm perceiving it even more like this, now.
I know that this next couple of weeks will be very difficult in the US; but whatever happens, think of it like a big scary cloud, it will pass, quick as it arrived, even if sometimes it will seem impossible.
Sending you thoughts of light
Arwen
It was a silent drone tour of Milan! I watched the video you recommended. Then I sent it to a family member who used to live in Italy.
Here is another chance for those who missed it, and thank you!
https://www.lapresse.it/cronaca/coronavirus_milano_deserta_il_drone_sopra_una_citta_irreale-2539860/video/2020-04-01/
I don't believe we are all doomed to get this virus. He likely shouldn't be in Close contact with others at home as much as possible; at work either. I read all clothing worn outside should be removed & washed immediately; and shoes should be left outside. Personally, I'm not leaving my shoes outside, but I do Lysol them All over inside home. He should be careful how he removes gloves, clothes, masks; Google those for proper removal.
Thank you for thinking of me, you are lovely :)
I'm ok. We do have enough to live for another week /10 days but I have been trying to do some shopping online every night for the whole week and it's just impossible, now. I'm not overly worried, I know I will find a way but yes, I'm a bit tired. I will try to post an update asap on this and other things that are happening around here.
How are you? Where are you in the world?
xxx Arwen
I loved writing, so much, when I was younger, and then life happened to me and I stopped. Somehow, I sometimes feel that this tragedy we are all living is somehow bringing us back to our true selves.
Writing here has truly saved me from the worst fears.
I don't know if this could be of any use for others; I wrote here because of you, because you share so much of my experiences here, and you know the place I'm coming from. My motivation to write has been you.
But you gave me back a million times.
Truly grateful for your kind words that mean more than I can say.
Thank you.
: )
Arwen
Greetings from the United States! It was so good to hear that you all are seeing some improvements. I know what you mean about going out and feeling the fresh air. It’s hard to believe that there is so much suffering going on around the world. It’s surreal. Sometimes, I wake up, and for a moment I think it’s just an ordinary day, and then I remember. It has felt eerily familiar - this upending of life as we know it.
Fifteen years ago, my daughter came home from her first week of college. I remember we lounged on my bed with the sun coming through the window, as she excitedly told me of her new adventures. Two days later that beautiful room and entire house was destroyed by Katrina along with a large portion of the Gulf Coast. I know I suffer from some Post Traumatic Stress from Katrina. You survive, you recover, you grow stronger, but you are forever affected. I’m sure this is true of anyone who goes through a traumatic life event. I think about how unbelievable life must have felt for those cities in Europe during WWII, with sirens going off, and bombs destroying houses around them, and sending the children out of the cities to live in the country where it might be safer. And this went on for years! After Katrina, we talked about our “New Normal”, until that too, became normal. Life continues.
Here, where I live, presently, we are on a Shelter in Place with a curfew from 11:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. We are still able to drive to get essential things, though I have started ordering my food through an app, then I drive to pick it up. We are allowed to walk or ride our bike. So far, in my state, we have not had very many cases, and few deaths. You must understand that my state is almost 2/3 the size of Italy, but with not even 3 million people. So compared to Italy, we are very rural. Most states are like this. Even New York state, has huge areas of rural towns. The United States is immense! Unfortunately, we are seeing the greatest number of cases in the big cities.
I am so glad you were able to get out for gas and money. Such a normal thing - driving a car, to lift up your spirits. Thank you so much for your updates. They are so important. I pray daily for healing for this world, and for all to seek and draw closer to God.
Thank you for sharing such an important memory with me. I feel honoured.
For a moment while I was reading you I was inside that room, and saw the light coming from the window, and you chatting with your daughter on the bed. Then it was suddenly gone, like it must have been for you. It's hard just to think about it, it must have been so, so hard for you. I'm so sorry you had to go through it, and now, through this.
I do have similar memories. I still remember the light, the smell, the feelings, like it had happened yesterday. Sometimes I really feel, especially now, that all our life is nothing more than a dream. And yes, like you, I do have a split second moment in the morning when I wake up when I don't remember. Then I remember that I should be worried about something. And then it hits me, and the day in Milan, Planet Earth, starts again.
Such a weird feeling, isn't it.
My mom lived WWII when she was a teenager. She recalls many episodes.
She tells me that they got so used to the sirens of the planes coming to bomb them that they used to finish cooking dinner and then would run to the shelter at the very last moment. Or that one day just before entering their usual shelter she had a really strong feeling and she decided to go to another one which was a bit far, and this saved their lives because the first shelter was destroyed... This seemed like a movie to me, I still remember listening to her stories and trying to imagine how it would have felt if it happened to me. To me.
Now I know that you keep living through the hardest things. Life continues, as you say. You keep cooking dinner. But you know, at least even under the bombs they had each other, they were close. Now what is really hard is that we are more or less alone with our fears. In a way, we have perhaps to be even stronger. But if we are lucky, as you say, we can truly grow stronger.
I try to imagine you among your trees, hoping that they will give you protection. It must be so beautiful living in a rural area. Cities are beautiful too, in their own way, but we are now paying so much the safety and comfort that they offer. I think of New York, which I love, and my heart sinks. They must be living something very similar to us.
I truly think our future will have to be a braver one, one where we will learn to live closer to nature, in every possible sense.
I pray for healing too. For seeing a better way for myself, for us, for everyone. For life, to continue.
Sending you a hug
Arwen
🎖🏅We all need to give you a Humanitarian Award for your contributions during the pandemic and the 2020 worldwide shortage of toilet paper.
Many serious thank you's!
Love from me!
Thank you so much, I'll share the award with you ladies who are keeping me sane! :)
And. For some weird reason Italians are not panicking over toilet paper, so if you need some just knock on my door ;)
xxx
What has started as a simple post of tips has become, I can see it now, my journal.
I must admit I didn’t fully realise what I was going to live and witness when I wrote the first post here; it now feels like an incredible, difficult journey that I’m doing with you, and for this, I’m very grateful.
We are watching the news from the States in disbelief. It feels to us like re-living the same nightmare again even before having woken up completely. We do feel your anger, fear and disconcert. We know how hard it is to keep your spirit up with this giant shadow approaching and everything looking worse and worse every day. How tired you must feel at the end of the day, emotionally, physically and mentally. How difficult and frightening is to remember all precautions when caring for someone else, hiding the fear and the worry, trying to decide the right thing to do when everything seems a matter of life or death. People in the States, in Spain, France, the UK and now also India (for which my heart is breaking), Africa, South America, crazy crazy Sweden, everywhere. Brothers and sisters. We are so close to you.
But even if we are still in the thick of it here in Italy and had more deaths that our minds can comprehend in the last couple of weeks, I DO have VERY good news tonight.
Your probably know it from the news, our contagions numbers are decreasing rapidly and, most importantly, the number of hospitalised people are much much less, at least here in Lombardy, where it all began. It is not just the numbers, you know. I can feel it in the air, I realise it by the number of ambulances that I hear through the day, which made us feel like the world was ending, so, so many of them just a few days ago, they were almost impossible to bear.
Now there is a new silence. A silence full of tiredness, a silence full of question marks, still, we are breathing in relief. We have a new hospital with 200 new IC units, built in 10 days. Our Mayor is fighting for us for being tested for antibodies, to know if we already had this virus, so that we can at least go out for a short walk, or to buy fruits, or to see our friends. Or perhaps even start living again! We have a new app that we can use on a voluntary basis for reporting symptoms and track contagions.
We are well. I’ve had a few bad moments - including a sudden stomach ache which wouldn’t pass and made me really worry - sad news from a close friend who’s now fighting the virus at home - but I still feel than we can make it and I’m actually more determined than before.
I also went out for the first time in weeks the other day, and managed to both fill the tank and withdraw some money from the atm machine, which made a huge difference in how I feel.
At least now we have a little autonomy, should everything fail.
Going out felt really weird, normal and scary at the same time. There was almost no one in the streets, but the sun was shining and the air was so pure without pollution that it almost felt impossible that all this is really happening; just breathing the fresh air and being outdoor for 20 minutes made me feel so much better.
We still don’t know for certain when we’ll be able to resume some sort of normal life.But I’m obliging myself not to think about the future. We are still in Phase 1 - Staying Alive.I’m positive that when the danger will be over I will feel it, and we will be so relieved to be alive that all difficulties that we’ll surely have to face will seem nothing in comparison.
I’d like to share this with you: my beautiful city from above, and the silence we are experiencing. This is how unreal it feels.
https://www.lapresse.it/cronaca/coronavirus_milano_deserta_il_drone_sopra_una_citta_irreale-2539860/video/2020-04-01/
At the same time, doesn’t it look like it could be the beginning of a brand new world?
Thinking of you all, be safe
with love
Arwen
I've always kept in mind that whenever there is a pandemic, war, depression or some combination of these......the sun still shines, birds still sing, flowers bloom, and bees and butterflies still fly about.
Like everyone else here, I appreciate your honest account of your experience. There really are no words to describe this, it feels so unreal. I agree with you - I feel like I'm watching a sci-fi movie. Except it's not....
Stay strong. Aren't you a little surprised by how strong you can be? You can hold on and persevere - and so can I. I think we all are much stronger than we might think.
Sending all the good thoughts your way! xoxox
Thinking of all of you, sending you courage, and strenght.
I'm praying for you all. We in the US, as you know, are now in the grips of it all, too.
I wasn't able to read all answers here, so if this is a repeat, my apologies. People (the regular public, not health workers) in the US have been told sternly not to buy or wear masks, and that they don't help. Though the health workers are pleading for masks, saying they need them and that they're in short supply. Your information, including masks, is a God send. Thank you, again!
God help us all. lil
Be still. It is a huge wave, it WILL recede.
Our hearts and prayers are with all of you in the US.
Great big warm hug!
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EssieMarie
I'm thinking of all of you tonight, trying to imagine where you are, how you feel, what are the latest news in your town, village, or city.
Today is our 19th day of isolation. We are well.
We are sending you thoughts of gratitude, light and resistance, wherever you are, we are there with you.
Take care.
And it did; for 3 days in a row, until yesterday, our numbers were significantly lower. Today, they increased, again. More than 700 people died in 1 single day and contagions in Lombardy grew again, 1000 more people than yesterday. It really makes your heart sink.
We are also astonished by the proportion and speed this desease seems to spread, worldwide.We are reading the news about the US and are thinking of all of you.
And nearby. 2 days ago, my mom's neighbour - 1 floor below her - has been taken away cause he couldn't breath anymore. I just can't believe it. I bumped into him 10 days ago, in the hall of our building, he was perfectly fine. Now I'm worried for him, for his kid and wife locked at home, for us, as well. They are coming to sanitese the stairs and elevators tomorrow. It feels more and more like a bad science-fiction movie.
I'm trying to keep working but it's very difficult to focus.
Today I was on a call with a client for 2 hours working on a medium term strategy for him and half of my brain was flashing a big question mark to me... how on earth can you work on a strategy if you don't even knwo when you'll be able to go out from your house again?!
So yes. It is difficult. I'm worried for our health, for my mom, for my cat, for the world, for food, for everything one can be worried about. I don't know how people can be so relaxed to think about cooking or watching movies on Netflix, in this moment. I envy them. I just can't.
I also have had this huge battle in my head going on, for the last 2 days: I read that petrol stations are going to shut down soon, as the people working there have no protection and are down 85% their normal income. So they have decided to close. This single thing made me almost panic. It makes me feel like we are trapped here, and even if we'll need to go away we won't be able to. And. I'm running out of cash, and I feel in my guts that this is a good time to actually have cash in your home, with the internet shopping being so difficult and everything.
So I've been thinking a lot about going out to the bank and to fill the tank, before it will be too late. Except I feel frozen by fear, now. Not the fear to die, the fear of taking a stupid risk for nothing, and putting in danger my family.
This is the effect of many days without going out. I feel so indecisive about everything.
At the same time, I'm staring developing a much subtler instinct for things.
If it doesn't feel right to go out now, I won't go. And I'm appreciating the small things that felt like a chore so much now. Running with my cat, who LOVES running. I always felt like crying in the evening when he wanted to run cause I was tired. Now I run with him with such a joy, it's also the only exercise I can get.
We run really fast together, up and down the corridor. He's delighted.
I feel happy and grateful even cooking dinner for my mom. I feel joy knowing that we still have food. I enjoy the 30 seconds walk in my yard in the evening when I come back to my apartment, sucking the outdoor air in my lungs, feeling alive.
I watch the skye for 30 seconds while I walk. I pray that it will give us a better day tomorrow, a better day for all.
I
I am praying for you today. For rest. Strength. Even joy...I am amazed and heartened you have found moments of joy playing with your cat, cooking dinner, and breathing the evening air.
What is your cat's name?
I don't know how you could private message me, but I would love to send you something you need or want if you could send me your mailing address.
Find hope today friend.
Love, gratefultoday
I did have to go to the gas station and talk to the cashier. It was upsetting and I felt too close to her and she wasn't taking any precautions. I won't go in anymore if the pump isn't working, but just leave and go to another one where I don't have to talk to anyone. Always wearing gloves. It's a lot to think about what you've touched with the gloved hand and which you didn't and spraying everything down.
We just heard of a first case, in Los Angeles where a child under 18 yrs died Tuesday. LA is a high risk area. I'm 3 hrs from it.
Our nonprofit is trying to balance keeping young people, who are poorer inner city, employed and balance it with keeping people safe. It would seem giving everyone money for food from our government would solve that problem and they could stay home. They are concerned poorer, inner city people may loot if they cannot work and become desperate because they don't have enough money for food. I hope it won't come to that. But people are still working, many of them not taking precautions.
My 19 yo son is quitting his job at a coffee shop in Texas today to protect his dad. I'm happy for that.
I hope you are well and have what you need and have peace. Enjoy the view from a window. Hang on friend. You can get through this. One day at a time. I'm praying for you.
I've read a lot about the US in these days and I'm praying for all of you too.
It is just mindblowing at what speed our world is changing, everything we knew so far, everything we took for granted.
The economic consequences of all this will be devastating for many, many people. Our heart are suspended at the moment, not knowing where to turn; between the news that arrive of people dying in ridiculous amounts everyday, everywhere, people losing jobs, shops and factories closing for good, poorer countries starting being hit as well, you literally don't know how to brace yourself anymore, and how to keep strong.
Still, I tell myself, I try to tell myself, this is our chance to become a more evolved species; learning empathy, disowning our privileges, finding courage when everything seems lost. I pray to learn how to be stronger, and stronger, because we don't know what we'll have to face.
I'm so happy that you are still going out and can enjoy the forest and the desert. I used to walk 1 hour in the the park, every day. We have a small lake and now that spring is coming all the trees were full of blossoms. I saw them last time 19 days ago, but it feels much longer. I miss nature, and the fresh air, and moving. I feel like I can think much better when I walk. I love my park, so so much.
I'm so happy that your son is home! You must feel so relieved.
And you know, this shadow approaching the place where you live looks and is very dark, but even the darkest clouds can dissolve and disappear.
You know, the name you have chosen, Gratefultoday... it makes me think that you have so much wisdom and strength in you, and that if there's someone who will be able to see the light even in the darkest of times it's you. Yes, we will get through this. We just will.
Many blessings, my friend.
I wonder why they give us suggestions on newspapers, they should just shut all up and say "You know what, we know NOTHING about this virus, good luck!"
Thank you Geaton777, this is very useful even if disheartening.