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Hellomy Uncle and Aunt have financial power of attorney, and “control” personal directive
my mother is getting worse so they now tell me all of a sudden that i will probably be executor(mom has no funeral plans I have to do that planing she never gave them plansor me. It will be paid with moms funds that’s fine)
i want to know if you’ve ever suddenly had to be executor? Are you stressed?there’s a property involved and payment for her nursing home. Mounds of paperwork I’m certain, plus my sister is mia she was evicted and isn’t talking to us I just hope that she does
I don’t really think I can refusethanks

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See an attorney and allow him/her to guide you through the process. You'll pay the attorney out of mom's estate. It will be well worth the money.
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Reply to Fawnby
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Thanks everyone
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Reply to Pirate2020
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You can definitely decline to be executor. My sibling was executor of our dad's estate and the process was over a year of work when we were trying to grieve. We worked together on everything and it was still grueling. There is a legally allowed executor fee but it's taxable income. If we had to do it again I would have suggested to have an attorney do it instead.
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Reply to Slartibartfast
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You don't have to be Executor. You can step down and allow someone else to deal with her Will. A lawyer will do it and take the Executor fee your allowed. Actually, Probate has to OK the Executor, I think. You can hand the responsibility over to the Aunt.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Does your mother have a will? If so it will say who the Executor is. If you are the Executor, you'll need to follow exactly what the will says. If there is no will, then the probate court will appoint someone to be in charge, and the law will dictate exactly how the estate is to be distributed. In either case, the Executor or the person in charge (might be called the Personal Representative, depending on your state), can pay for a lawyer out of the estate's funds to assist.
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Reply to MG8522
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It might be a good idea to see a lawyer to work out what is going on. Where I am, the word ‘Executor’ is only used for the executor who proves the will. The executor (normally in straightforward estates) arranges for the assets to go as directed in the will. However the executor can hire a lawyer to do all of that – and would normally do so for a large estate.

This is not something that has happened ‘all of a sudden’. But perhaps Uncle and Aunt have always known about the will nominating you as executor, and the ‘sudden’ is just about letting you know. I’m sure you can arrange the funeral, and it doesn’t sound as if M has a large and difficult estate with lots of assets. I’d stop worrying now.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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