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My husband and I have been assisting Mom (divorced) in every way possible over 25 years years while she was in IL and then last 5 years in nearby NH closer to our house. As the sole daughter (brother is out of state), I became POA and have endured years of gaslighting, lying, manipulation, character attacks with accusations of stealing and not giving her enough attention. Basically, Mom wanted to come live with us instead of NH. We have had to pay the price with increased blood pressure, anxiety and depression. She is now in her last weeks/months of life, and I would like to offer her the gift of a peaceful, serene and dignified end of life experience.

Sorry that I gave the impression that Mom moved in with us. That was her wish but we have kept her safe and comfortable staying at the same NH for the last 5 years with hospice bringing their services to her. Thanks, everyone for your positive input!
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Reply to MissGypsy
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Wow! I'm so sorry that you that you're now paying the very high price of poor health and depression because you allowed your gaslighting and manipulative mom move back in with you. You are a much bigger woman than I.
Just because your mom is now under hospice care does NOT mean that she will be dying anytime soon. My late husband was under hospice care in our home for the last 22 months of his life. Are you prepared to be in it for the long haul if it should go on that long, or will it be you and your husband who will be the ones dying first from stress related issues?
If you want mom to die in peace have your mom transferred to the hospice home when she's close to dying as they are very beautiful, peaceful and the care is top notch. Medicare will pay for it 100% if she dies within a week. After that you'd(mom) have to pay out of pocket.
I'm sure you're already figuring out that with in-home hospice that you're still doing 99% of moms care, so please take care of yourself.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Your gift meaning you take her to your home? Believe me when I say, this will not change her. This is her personality. She wants what she wants and when she gets it, its still not enough. Its like a child who cries to have a certain toy, they get it, play with it a couple of days then throws it aside and then cries for another toy they just have to have. Your mother will never be happy, its not her personality to be happy. To be honest, she probably has no idea what she wants.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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It's time to have her placed again and evaluated for hospice. They are a wonderful organization that will be of help to you and her.
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Reply to JustAnon
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MissGypsy Apr 21, 2026
Yes, got on hospice a week ago and it's going well. Thanks!
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I appreciate your helpful insight.
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Reply to MissGypsy
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It’s kind of you to want a peaceful life end for mom. The truth is none of us control this. Death is a solo experience, one a person walks down alone. You can ensure she’s not in pain, hospice is very good at that. Being present for the actual moment matters none, she will be gone before the final moments. Rely on the hospice provider for guidance, rest and heal yourself. I wish you all peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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MissGypsy Apr 21, 2026
Thank you for your reassuring and kind words.
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You do what you want. You have to live with this decision, not your mother. If you feel you must to do this because you couldn't forgive yourself if you did not, then you should do it.

Please remember that she can have a serene peaceful and dignified death at the nursing home. My mother did. And my father is in a facility and is on hospice. This is where he will be at the end of his life and I am okay with that. I cannot transport him 3,000 miles to California, So that is how it is going to be unless one of my sisters feels differently and brings him to their home.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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