It's been over 6 mo and still hasn't showered. She says "I'm not running marathons so I don't need to. Sponge baths are good enough," then storms off in a tizzy. Her Dementia isn't severe (not typical of mid/late stage but short term memory is getting bad, under 2 hrs) but she does need it since she will NOT allow me to do anything; like washing her legs or hair. She isn't incontinent and doesn't have accidents but there is a slight odor, partly due to hair not being washed I'm assuming. I need to take her shopping for clothes and underwear but I'm afraid that I'm too used to the smell, you know, like a farmer that is used to a barn smell and she won't be allowed to try on the clothes. Actually, what I'm more afraid of is that someone will call Senior Svcs saying I'm not taking care of her and her Neuro (He gave me his POA as long as I'm living with her and that I'm properly taking care of her) or he will send her to a nursing home. Her day nurse has tried and 1 of 2 things happen 1. Mom goes to bed til she leaves OR 2. She berates her and argues with her for the duration that she's here which is for 4 hours so I can get a couple hours of sleep for work. I drive a truck for 12 hrs on the midnight shift. Any ideas would be helpful since my only idea left is taking a garden hose to her when she does decide to go outside for a few min to pull some weeds. Just kidding on that but what other option is there?
Two more ideas:
1) There are the dry shampoo powders that you comb through hair to absorb the grease. They were popular in my girlhood when people didn’t wash their hair in the shower daily. They were perfumed, and they might be better than nothing (or a fight). I don’t know if they are still made. I think that they may have been based on talcum powder. Someone else should remember.
2) My elderly Greek neighbour told me that in her childhood on Corfu, women didn’t wash their long hair, they combed it through with kerosene/ paraffin. Helen said that it made the hair lovely and shiny, and she liked the smell. (She also said that it was good for head lice, which I hope isn’t your problem!)
Soap and water isn’t the only way if the problem is about getting into the shower tub. ‘Wet ones’ as a bed bath can help as well.